Gang Educatation 101

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Enjoy my brain at work

Submitted: July 12, 2012

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Submitted: July 12, 2012

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•Gang Education 101•

This is written to warn you about the intellect or lack their of in regards to Gang members across the world absentmindedly representing false directions and locations to a half-educated but equally ignorant world.  I'll use the beautiful town of Greely. Colorado as my example (Or as the majority calls it \"Da Northside\") 

Ill start by disregarding their obvious lack of command of the english language, the only other excuse for a person to not be able to pronounce a tounge-twister like \"The\" would be that you are either from England or Australia where our \"T\" is replaced with a \"C\" but since these bricks use a \"D\" I'll shut up and let someone else play Jane Goodall in the ghetto...

 I want to focus on this generation and how we have failed them in so many ways, being that no child will be left behind complacency in the classroom was inevitable  , Anti-psychotic meds for the people who smile too much and anti-depressants for the ones who cant keep any real human emotion at bay plus the belief that since America hides our mentally challenged in basements, society in a whole is vanilla and safe.

If that's the truth then how did \"Da Northside\" come to be? (Disregard the obvious and bear with me...) 

Is it because they simply choose to recogenize simple geography in an Orwellian attempt to stick it to the man; is it 1984 all over again? Or maybe there too damn retarded to  understand simple geography in exchange for the bliss of ignorance.  Honestly, I like playing dumb as much as the next person every once in awhile and sometimes I will...

Eg. If it involves fixing yet another one of the million friends computers they've broken, I go as far as to say \"I forgot how to type, let alone reinstall Windows!\" Then turn on my \"Nothing Face\" An expression I perfected through hours of observing the effects that high doses of Depeco did on the people who's future was foretold in \"A Brave New World\" Then again, if your dumb enough to believe a doctor wants what's best for you no-harm-no-foul; you had no light to turn off from birth, I achieve the same result by thinking of a John Lennon lyric and \"Watching the paint peel off the wall...\" 

BUT, if somewhere asked where it is that I reside, my IQ alone would forbid me to possibly ruin it's triple digit status by answering \" Da Northside\" when I'm clearly stuck in middle America. And I hate middle America! I wish I could represent to the word in Spanish-Eubonics of my present location on planet earth but the need to present an beautifully honest and original first impression on the world won't let me randomly yell out to all of Ft. Collins, \"West Side Beverly Hills! Multi-tasking the letter W on both hands just in case a deaf person happened to give a shit about my present location. My luck though, a police officer/crossing guard/guy who's only reference to college was a commercial in between Jerry Springer which told him that he to could have an unaccredited degree in criminal justice would confuse the obvious geographical lie I screamed and my white attempt to be politically  correct through sign language as \"Gang banging\", He'd book me, charge me, take a picture of my hand tattoo then bring in the local Gang Unit Officer to really put a textbook scare into my guilty for being proud to be an American charge. Before I'm finally released on the grounds of being white and my hand tattoo is not that of any recognized gang but that of the \"HSH\" Hailey Sky Hanna crew, I get billed 30$ for giving them a job to do which is already funded by the government.  The lone empty box of Krispy Kreams answers my question....

Back to geography class, the northern most point in the United States is located in Obviously Alaska or to be more specific; Point Barrow, Alaska  71°23?20?N156°28?45?W

But to be fair, the amount of anyone stupid enough to claim the obvious  in Alaska I'm sure is like the weather, sub-zero; so lets dumb down and reduce the ability to yell out random directions on a state by state basis. I'll make it real easy, Greeley is south of Ft. Collins; On those grounds, I in fact may represent the Northside if I felt so inclined to do so, everybody below me better start to shake and bake, whip out their glass pipes and get down on the 10 and 2 to fuel up their brains with Methpower to think of something better then my suggestion; \"The ALMOST Northside\" :-) 

Ciao!!


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