Jimmy Of Wobbly Knob--Chapter Two

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


Submitted: October 31, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: October 31, 2017



Still not proof read:


Later that same day, Jimmy’s mom made him sit down and write a story about something that had actually happened to him. It was his homework, and he wasn’t happy about having to do it. This wasn’t any fun--he’d much rather imagine something exciting happening to him--real life was so boring. Oh well, just get it over with. 'Let’s see, oh I know, I’ll write about what happened to me this afternoon,' he thought, and started writing:



'I recently had some excitement in my life, and I would like to tell you about it. My name is Jimmy Tilford, I’m 10, and here’s what happened:


I had just gotten out of school at Wobbly Knob Elementary. My teacher, Mrs. Meyers, yeah, it definitely wasn’t Mrs. Westerhouse, had just told me that I wasn’t living up to the standards she expected out of me. Her words made me angry--who did she think she was, that she could expect anything of me? She didn’t really know me. So I wasn’t in the best of moods as I left there. I was looking to raise a little heck--but what? As I walked across the overpass above the main street in Wobbly Knob, I kicked absent-mindedly at a pine cone. Suddenly, I had a moment of clarity, which at my age are few and far between, let me tell you!



There was a car coming below, I think it was a Mustang, so I took careful aim with the pine cone I had just picked up, and timed my throw perfectly. I thought, 'what’s a little harmless fun? It won’t break anything.' Well, let me tell you what happened--the pine cone arced from my hand and struck the car’s windshield. I’d only hoped to scare the person driving, but the car jerked to the right, and flew out into Mr. Haver’s cornfield. It tried to gain traction on the muddy ground (it had been raining), but the wheels just shot mud behind the car. The car was stuck. Looking back on it, I was lucky that was all that had happened.



As my disbelieving eyes watched, the driver’s door flew open, and a very angry (red in the face) guy shot out and looked up right at me. Now, I think, what the heck was l doing? Why did I just stand there? I should have taken off running, but I guess I was just too shocked at the result of my actions.


You little jerk--you’re dead!”


That galvanized me into action. I ran, and ran, until I reached the sanctuary of my home.'



As Jimmy was writing the story, he gazed out the window from the kitchen window, and saw the street out front of the house. A red Mustang pulled up in front of the house. No, it couldn’t be! When the driver stomped angrily up the walk, he saw it was in fact the very same angry, red-in-the-face driver whom his air-born pine cone had startled so badly.


“Mom, I’ll be in my room doing homework,” he yelled into the living room, where his mom was working on some bills. He could just imagine the confusion on her face--'Jimmy, MY Jimmy offering to do his homework without me having to threaten him with bodily harm?' He ran down the hall to his room, desperately trying to figure a way out of the house from his bedroom. After thinking, 'I wonder how long my fingernails will last--maybe I can claw a hole in the wall?', he heard pounding on the door. Oh gosh, he was here--darn small towns, anyway. Someone must have seen him and told. He heard his mom answer the door, followed by a conversation he couldn’t hear, then,


“Jimmy, get out here, now!”


Oh, oh!



It turned out that the guy Jimmy had startled with the pine cone had tracked Jimmy here, but had been late for work, so he’d gone to on. But now that his work day was over, he’d come back for Jimmy.






Jimmy was thinking about what they’d been studying today in Mrs. Westerhouse’s 4th grade class, all about the space program. The space program always got Jimmy's imagination working overtime, and let his mind wander:



'“Five, four, three, two, one, liftoff; we have liftoff of the Deep Space Explorer, on it’s 5 year mission to seek out new life and new civilizations--to coldly go where it’s freezing.”' Jimmy made up the last part of the famous saying from the classic T.V. show, because he really didn’t remember the exact words, but he wanted to get them as close to correct as possible. He’d learned that it was very cold in space. In his latest daydream, his dad’s recliner chair, with a blanket thrown over it, had become The Deep Space Explorer, a rocket launched from the USA, on a mission to discover other civilization on other worlds. He was a spaceman, and a major in the Coast Guard. He knew he should be military, and he had chosen his favorite branch, the Coast Guard.



The recliner shook (or at least he imagined it did), and soared into the heavens.


Somehow, they’d miraculously travelled an immense distance in seconds, and now were orbiting a grayish-red planet. They had received a signal over the radio, that said,


To the rocket we can see with the naked eye, if you’ve come looking for intelligent life on other worlds, you’ve come to the right place. Come on down, sit awhile, we’ll share an ice-cold drink, and we’ll talk.”'


Jimmy didn’t know if aliens preferred their drinks ice-cold, but man, was he thirsty, so that’s the way it was going to be.



'They had beamed down to within feet of where the strange aliens sat around, swilling ice-cold drinks.'



Jimmy doubted beaming was a good way to travel, or would even work, but it was easy, so he went with it.



'One of the aliens jumped up and exclaimed, “Welcome to Trellazar--I’m Lacar Behoovian, supreme leader of The Trellazarians.”


Major Jimmy stepped forward and replied, “So good to receive your warm reception--we’re from a planet many light years across the universe called Earth,



Wait, Earth? What kind of dumb name is that?”


Major Jimmy felt a red-hot flash of anger, and hotly replied, “Yeah, well what kind of name is, is, err, Trellazar?”


What? It’s a fine name, unlike Earth.” At his response, the other aliens chuckled.


Major Jimmy became enraged, screaming, “Shut up--shut every one of your three mouths!”


No sooner were his words out of his lone mouth, than the men from Earth were having to dodge laser-fire from The Trellazarians. Major Jimmy, from behind a nearby boulder, shouted,


Men, let’s get out of here,” and he radioed the Deep-Space Explorer to beam them up.



Luckily, The Trellazarians were terrible shots, and no one was hit. Major Jimmy felt they shouldn’t push their luck, and called for an end to their five year mission after only two years.'



The recliner returned safely to Earth, and his mom pulled away the protective blanket, and said,


“I made some chocolate chip cookies--would you like some?”


Would he? After surviving on Tang and imaginary freeze-dried nuts and berries, who was she kidding?




Jimmy stared at the blank page in front of him, and tried very hard to concentrate. For Mrs. Westerhouse’s 4th grade class, he had homework, and not just ordinary homework, no, he had to make up a story--from nothing! His mom had told him he had to get his homework done before he could go out to play. He looked forlornly out the window above his desk--freedom was so close, and yet so far. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and he was stuck inside. It just wasn’t fair. Oh well, he may as well try to write something. He put pen to paper, and angrily began:


Little Bobby was not a regular kid, he was ‘Action Man’. His parents couldn’t see it, his teachers couldn’t see it, in fact, NO ONE could see it. He always heard, “Bobby, settle down,” but how could ‘Action Man” settle down? 'Action Man' just HAD to keep moving.'



Jimmy wondered where his idea came from--what person he based Bobby on?



His mom said he was just like a hummingbird, always moving, but 'Action Man' just couldn’t help it. Somehow, 'Sit Around Man' just didn’t seem right.


Bobby, or 'Action Man', had received an important call on ‘The Action Phone’, (in reality, electrical tape covering an old toilet paper roll), and sprung into action. One of his classmates at ‘Sugar Elementary” had had their candy bar forcibly taken away by an older boy. This couldn’t be allowed to stand--besides, it was candy.


'Action Man' flew (actually, Bobby was lying on the back of the couch) into the classroom of the older boy, surprised him in the act of opening and eating the candy bar, and without any violence, grabbed the candy bar and flew back out. As he was flying out, he heard behind him,


Drats--dang you, ‘Action Man’!”'




All these thoughts about candy had made Jimmy hungry. He knew he should finish the story, but how can anyone concentrate when they’re thinking about candy? They can’t--and it just wasn’t fair to even have to try.



Jimmy had just arrived home from school, and there was absolutely nothing to do. Summer vacation was only a week away, and he thought it would never get here. He racked his brain, but nothing came to mind. As he sulked his way through the living room, an old movie was showing on the T.V. his dad had been watching, but apparently he’d left it on and left. Kind of a waste. He reached for the remote to turn it off, when he started watching it, sort of out of the corner of his eye. It was about Alexander the Great’s conquests. Jimmy soon left the furniture of the living room behind, and;



The King of Carmona was scared. Jimmy the Great’s army was just outside the city walls, and was demanding he abdicate (Jimmy thought that was the right word, but being only 10 years old, he wasn’t sure.) his throne. He was scared, and that was a unique feeling for him. He’d faced down other armies, faced death with a smile on his face, but there was something about Jimmy the Great that brought out crippling terror, and made him cry and beg for Jimmy the Great not to harm him.


Jimmy the Great was the head of a vast army, that had taken control of almost all areas of The Kingdom of Carmona--there remained only one task, getting the King to abdicate (again, Jimmy wondered if he had the right word?) and step down---'


“Jimmy, lunch is ready.”


Oh no, he hadn’t taken over Carmona yet, but his unfinished action was quickly forgotten when he smelled hamburgers frying--man, leading a vast army made him hungry. He’d finish sacking Carmona later.



Jimmy was stuffed to the breaking point. A hamburger, French fries, and an ice cream sundae was a lot of food for a king-to-be. A king-to-be--that’s right--time to finish what he’d started.



The campfires of the enemy’s army lit up the skies over Carmona City, as Jimmy the Great looked down on it from The Heights of Carmona, tall hills which ringed the city. Tomorrow morning, unless the King of Carmona had a change of heart, his army would attack.



The morning sun rose hotly, bringing searing heat blasting down on the army of Jimmy the Great. The time for talking was over--the King of Carmona had been duly warned, and must be expecting their attack. Jimmy the Great expected fierce resistance, but he WOULD be king.


Men, attack,” he screamed, and his marauding hordes swarmed down the hillside, raised ladders, and quickly scaled the walls, dropping down into Carmona City. Jimmy the Great saw nothing but ordinary citizens, scared out of their minds. No king’s army waiting to desperately repel his army. They had somehow slipped away. (He suddenly saw a major flaw in his daydream. Maybe he would have been smarter to have his army encircle the city, so as to make escape impossible, but, darn it, it was his fantasy--if he didn’t want that to happen--if he hadn’t foreseen this whopper loophole, that was just too bad, HE controlled his own fantasy.)'



“Jimmy, dinner,” his mother cried from the kitchen. Wow, he’d been daydreaming the entire afternoon. He immediately changed back into just plain old Jimmy, from Jimmy the Great. Man, he was hungry. Sacking the enemy’s city really took it out of a guy.



Jimmy was bored once-again. His best friend Davy had been grouned, so he couldn't come over. He tried to think of what he should pretend next. His mom had suggested reading, as in a book. Reading? A book? He loved his mom, but come on! He was trying to think of something FUN, not to feel like he was back in school. His mom tried, but, ‘swing and a miss’. His eyes swept his room, for about the ten-millionth time, and again saw absolutely nothing. There was his racetrack, No! There was his board games, alone? No--there was his toy box, No--wait a minute, his basketball was mixed in amongst his toys. Maybe he’d grab his basketball and head out to the outdoor court at the elementary school down the block. It was his fall-back position for extreme boredom. He actually was bored with that, too, but hey, it beat sitting around the house. He grabbed his basketball and bounded down into the living room.


“Mom, I think I’ll go down to the school and shoot some baskets.”


“Oh, Jimmy, honey, it’s pouring down rain,” she replied.


It was? Darn! “Well, that too bad, but I’ve decided that that’s what I want to do, so I’m going to go anyway.”


“No, I don’t think you’d better, maybe you’d better find something to do inside.”


Shoot--“Oh Mom!”


“I’m sorry Jimmy, but you’d better stay inside.”


“Ahh, Mom--okay,” he replied with a frown.


He clomped back up the stairs--totally dejected. Once back in his room he went to his window, and gazed out on the cause of all his troubles. Why did it have to be raining? Now he had nothing to do. It wasn’t fair--if it wasn’t raining, he’d be shooting baskets right now. Darn it, if--wait a minute. He could open the window, throw the basketball down, and then tell his mother that he was going out to the garage to play. Then he could pick up the basketball and head for the basketball court. problem solved. He slid open his window, picked up the ball, and carefully dropped it towards the ground. It hit the sprinkler head and caromed straight into their car, parked next to the house. It slammed into the driver’s door, and bounded into some bushes. Jimmy cringed, and just knew his mother had heard, but when he bounded down the stairs and told his mother he’d be out in the garage, she absent-mindedly told him okay, and to have a good time. She hadn’t heard!



Jimmy slammed the front door, and heard a disapproving comment from his mom. He quickly rounded up the basketball and headed for the elementary school. On his way by the car, he saw a huge dent in the driver’s door, where the ball had hit--shoot! Maybe it would go unnoticed.



He was approaching the court, and suddenly he wasn’t Jimmy, the ordinary kid, he was Doctor J: Dr. Jimmy, the most amazing player in the NBA.



He had thrilled the overflow crown with an amazing array of gravity-defying dunks. It almost wasn’t fair--he made the other players, superstars in their own right, look like pathetic hacks.'



Jimmy couldn’t jump more than a few inches off the ground, and didn’t come within six feet of the rim when he did jump, so he imagined himself swooping down on the rim, and wind-milling a powerful dunk through the net.



'There was only 6 seconds left in the game, at least regulation. Doctor Jimmy’s team, the Tacoma Treasonous Guys, trailed by 1 point, as The Doc took the inbounds pass, and went right around the man trying in vain to guard him, and headed for the hoop. At the free-throw line another defender stepped into his way. Doctor Jimmy faked right, went left, and left his feet. He jumped so high, he was actually above the rim. To the ohh’s and ahh’s of the watching crowd, he slammed home the ball just before the buzzer sounded, winning the game for his team. Doctor Jimmy was mobbed by his teammates, as well as the crowd, which pored out of the stands, and joined in the delirium.



Jimmy was so caught up in his imaginary exploits, that he had failed to notice he was soaked, because of the poring rain. How would he explain this fact to his mom, who thought he was out in the garage. Oh well, he’d think of something on his long walk home. Speaking of home, he’d better get heading.



Jimmy arrived home, and was still trying to think of a plausible excuse, when his mom slammed through the front door, before he could make it to the garage. Boy, did she ever look mad. Before he could speak, his mom yelled,


“Out playing basketball, after I told you not to?”


He tried to proclaim his innocence, but with the fact that he was still carrying the basketball, which he was going to ditch behind the garage, and being soaked to the skin, she didn’t quite believe him.


“And what happened to the car door, huh?”


Oh, oh!




Jimmy sat dejectedly on his front porch. His best grounded friend, Davy, had just phoned and asked what Jimmy had been up to.


"Oh, I was pretending I was the best basketball player, ever!"


"Cool! I sure wish I hadn't been grounded, we could do something."


"It just isn't fair!" Jimmy finished.


"Yeah--well, I just was wondering what you'd been up to. I guess all see you around."


"Okay, Davy, bye." He hung up the phone and looked around--another Sunday was drawing to a close, and he had nothing left to look forward to but homework--homework, and here it was only a few days from summer vacation. It just wasn’t fair--he’d pretended to be many different exciting things, but now he was just bummed-out Jimmy, who had loads of darn homework--boring. He wished he was a world famous explorer--suddenly, he was Sir Jimmy, renown sea captain, searching for The Lost City of Gold, where everything was made of gold--well not the food, that would be a little hard on a person’s teeth, but all the buildings, certainly.



'Captain Jimmy looked through his telescope at the distant shore line, trying to peer through the veil of fog surrounding it. It could be--the treasure map he had recently found mentioned a Lost City of Gold, somewhere near here, but didn’t give the exact location. There were hundreds of islands in the area, and Captain Jimmy had been looking at each and every one, but so far, The Sea Ship hadn’t found any island with The Lost City of Gold on it. Captain Jimmy was about to break off the search--they were running low on supplies. Captain Jimmy wasn’t familiar with rum, but the sailors were starting to grumble about running out of that. He was starting to doubt the map he’d found was genuine. In fact, he had decided this would be the last island The Sea Ship would be checking, and then the ship would sail for home. He hated to give up, but if he didn’t soon, Captain Jimmy would have a mutiny on his hands. Already, he could see some of the men looking at him, and scowling.



He looked again through his telescope, now that they had sailed closer, and for the first time, saw glimmers of something--it could be gold, he couldn’t tell. Suddenly, the sun broke through the ever-present fog, and Captain Jimmy was almost blinded be the brilliant light which reflected of shiny yellow houses--gold! He gave a mighty cry, “Gold!” Wild cheering broke out among the men--they were all rich!



The men climbed back aboard The Sea Ship, after exploring the treasure they’d found. Everyone was deliriously happy and excited--gold, and it was all theirs! Captain Jimmy ordered rum for everyone, except him, of course. He would be having lemonade.'



“Jimmy, Jimmy.” Captain Jimmy was jolted out of his daydream by the shrill voice of his mom. “Jimmy, have you got your homework done?”


Oh shoot--he’d been so wrapped up in pretending he was Captain Jimmy, world-renown explorer, that he hadn’t even started his homework. He had to think of a darn good reason he hadn’t. Desperately, his mind raced for something, anything. He blurted out the very first thing that popped into his head,


“Ah, no, I couldn’t--a big dog ate it!”


“Oh, come on Jimmy. That’s the oldest, stupidest excuse, and besides, we have no dog, and even if we did, why would a dog want to eat your homework?”


“I know we don’t even have a dog Mom,” 'Oh darn, think Jimmy, think!' “see, there was this strange dog that came around right when I was starting to work on it, and ate it.”


“A strange dog that just happened to get in your room--imagine the odds. That has got to be about the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.”


“No, I swear Mom, a big strange dog ate it.” Boy, give him a shovel, because with every word out of his mouth, he was digging himself in deeper.



Jimmy could barely keep his eyes open. His mother had told him he’d have to stay up until he was done with his homework. It was now 10.30. His bedtime was 9.00.


It was the next morning, and, oh, the clock was moving too slow. Jimmy was trapped in school, and could do nothing but watch the sunshine out the school windows. It just wasn’t fair--here he was, studying world history, when there were worlds to conquer. He just knew he’d bust under the crushing weight of boredom. He sighed, and his attention was jerked back to reality when Mrs. Westerhouse suddenly called out his name.


“Jimmy Tilford, please read chapter 12 out loud for the class.”


Great; “Yes ma'am.” He started reading. “King John ruled over all of England with an iron hand...”--boring! If HE was the king of, call it the kingdom of Crayvel, how different thing would be...



'King Jimmy of Crayvel looked down from the balcony of Tilford Castle upon the cheering multitudes of his loyal subjects.They were gathered to honor the man who had single-handedly saved their kingdom from the dragon-king Firehose. Firehose wanted to overthrow King Jimmy, and rule in his own, bummer way. But King Jimmy had other ideas. He had challenged Firehose to a winner-take-all sword duel, with the winner becoming the king of Crayvel.



The loyal subjects had looked on fearfully, as Firehose and their beloved King Jimmy’s swords clashed in the sun. What if King Jimmy lost? They oohed and awed

as the sword battle raged, with first Firehose, and then King Jimmy seeming to have the upper hand. Back and forth switched the momentum. Suddenly, Firehose swung a mighty blow with his sword, King Jimmy raised his sword to parry, his sword went spinning out of his grasp, and clattered to the cobblestone street. Firehose raised his sword for the fatal blow, and at that moment, despair washed through every citizen of Crayvel, with the possible exception of Slaphappy Dave, the village idiot, who didn’t even know what day it was, but everyone else was fearful this was the end. But as Firehose raised his sword to finish off King Jimmy, King Jimmy yelled,

Behind you!”


Firehose stopped lifting his sword, and looked behind him. “What, I don’t see-”


King Jimmy pounced, swing his fists into Firehouses’ face.


What the...” Firehose managed, before his world went dark.



Now, with a revived Firehose behind bars, the citizens of Clayvel celebrated and cheered King Jimmy wildly, and it was good.'



Jimmy finished, and looked up at the class. He heard snickers from several directions. Then Mrs. Westerhouse spoke,


“That was excellent reading Jimmy, but where exactly is the kingdom of Clayvel located? Maybe you could show us on the world map.”


It was then that Jimmy realized he had been daydreaming out loud, and everyone, including Davy, who had a smile on his face, was staring at him. Whoops--oh well, at least Davy understood!


© Copyright 2020 Mike S.. All rights reserved.

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