Tweet From Tweedle-Dumb--Err-Don!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
IMPORTANT message from Ill-Douche--err--our President-Elect!

Submitted: January 06, 2017

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Submitted: January 06, 2017

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"From Donald J. Trump--3.14 am--many, many, so many people have congratulated me on my tweeting--they claim they never get tired of them, that they could read them for hours. People, many, many people, believe me, have told me I am the most interesting man in the world, possibly the universe. The loser selling beer, who spouts, 'stay thirsty my friends!' is a fraud. I'M the most interesting. It's not even close, 'sorry, Beer Guy, you're a complete tool!' 
 
And, I can stay up for days without sleep, sleep's for losers. Only weak people need sleep. Not only am I most interesting, but the most sleep deprived man in the world. I mean, look at me, I barely sleep, and it affects my decision making not at all. Well, Vladimir Putin's a close second in the interesting department, as we're both interesting, strong, incredibly-handsome leaders, but only I have millions of followers on Twitter. That's a true test of how popular you are. The media claims millions of Americans are scared shit-less of my erratic behavior, but they LIE, boy, how they lie--trust me, Pinocchio's, all of them! Well, I'd love to talk about myself for hours, but I stopped off at the mini market, and by the way, what's with the foreign guy working behind the counter, anyway (remind me to tweet something that will make people afraid next time, then I can swoop in like a vulture and strip the bones of that place clean, then resell it, at a tremendous profit--God, I love America!) and picked me up some tasty corn beef hash--with some farm fresh eggs and a few slices of toast. You know, I should have my own cooking show *note to self, look into that!"


© Copyright 2020 Mike S.. All rights reserved.

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