"And, They're Off!"

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  No Houses
The big Life Race!

Submitted: May 23, 2014

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Submitted: May 23, 2014

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"Welcome to the annual 'Life Race"

In lane one, we have Mike Stevens

In lanes two through ten, all of life's possible happenings

The first runner to reach the finish line is the winner

Runners, take your marks, get set, GO!

Pain sprints to the early lead, followed by--

Hey, what in the hell is Mike doing?  He's running the wrong way!

He started out okay, but then inexplicably turned around

And started running in the opposite direction

What we've been told is correct; he's a total screw-up. 

Now he's on a collision course with the

Other runners; doesn't he see the people in the stands

Frantically waving that he should be running the

Opposite way?  Hell, forget finishing first, he'll be lucky to

Finish at all!  And, he's running with his head down;

Now the other runners are coming down the straight away

The other way; "Look out Mike!  You're going the

Wrong wa--" oh, he just collided with Fate, and they're both down!

It was a spectacular head-down collision; the

Dumb bastard never saw Fate coming, totally unaware

He was running the wrong way.  Well, Fate is up and

Appears to be okay, if a little dazed; he's bound and

Determined to finish the race.  Meanwhile, Mike

Looks like he's seriously injured--no, wait,

He's staggering to his feet, and it looks

Like he's packing it in; what a wanker!

Meanwhile, back to the race; incredibly,

We have an eight-way tie for first, while Fate, because

Of the absolute moronics of Stevens, is just now

Staggering to the finish line, but at least he finished;

Unlike Moron Mike, who blew up the race and

Quit.  Well, life's possibilities will race again next week;

Mike, on the other hand, will only be another spectator 

Anyway, until next time, this is your announcer

Unseen Blowback saying, "Don't be a knob like Mike,

Take Life facing the right direction!"

 


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