Christmas With the B*****r's!

Poem by: Mike Stevens


Orange Christmas!


Submitted: December 26, 2012

A A A | A A A


Submitted: December 26, 2012



Christmas with the B*****’s!

After a hard days work doing absolutely nothing,

House Majority Leader J. B*****r comes home

His son, Little B*****r, meets him at the door:

“Daddy, Daddy, Merry Christmas!”

“Yeah, you think? Name one good thing about it, cause I don’t see it!

The Dems are riding my ass, and I can’t---”

“Big B*****r, would you mind not talking that way in front of Little B*****r?”

“I’m sorry, Mama, it’s just so frustrating, when my own guys rebel,

And I’m getting reamed of The Rachel Maddow Show,

She’s saying I basically suck at my job,

Which is true, I suppose, when I can’t make my own

Members do what I’d like, but I don’t care to see it on T.V.,

I mean, everyone, with even a small amount of brains,

And that disqualifies most of my guys,

Can see what we’re trying to do; make Obama take it in the shorts!

Trying to make it look like we’re doing something,

When we’re doing exactly jack-s**t, is hard work!”

“Big B*****r, Would you watch your mouth?”

“Fine; I’ll be at the tanning salon if you give a s**t!”

“Wait, before you go, what would you like for dinner?”

“Oh, maybe a nice Christmas ham.”

“Dad, I don’t want ham; I want Mexican!”

“Well, Son, we can’t always get what we want.”

“Apparently, honey, some of us can

Never get what we want!”

“Great, even my wife has turned on me!

Now, where’s my 32 ounce industrial strength sun-enhancer?”

“Oh honey, get a sense of humor; I was just kidding!”

“Never mind, I’ll just use the spray-on sun-enhancer.”

“Honey! Honey wait! Great, now he’s mad!

Now all I’ll hear is how outraged he is.

Doesn’t he know how fake his outrage looks?

Oh well, it’s a good match for his fake tan!

Looks like it’s just you and me for dinner, Little B*****r!”

© Copyright 2017 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.

Christmas With the B*****r's! Christmas With the B*****r's!

Status: Finished

Genre: Poetry

No Houses


Status: Finished

Genre: Poetry

No Houses


Orange Christmas!
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