Crimp; Smiling Toy Shop story # 3

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  No Houses
Another Smiling Toy Shop tale! Please read in order, # 1 on up!

Submitted: May 01, 2013

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 01, 2013






Jasper gazed down on the sleepy store, which was empty at the moment, thank you, God!  He couldn’t take another snot-nosed little brat feeling him up.  “Oh, Mommy, look at this one; you can twist his arms backwards, and they spring right back!”  No, if another brat never came in, it would be too soon for him.  It was almost closing time, and maybe he’d luck out. 

Closing time; he’d made it.  Mr. Vesta was locking the door.  Now at least he’d have a quiet night before the next screaming horde came in, but at least that wasn’t until morning.  As Mr. Vesta had locked the door and was almost to his office, there sounded a knocking on the front window.  A guy with his little brat was knocking and waving at Mr. Vesta, trying to get his attention.  Keep your wrinkly ass moving toward your office.  No!  thought Jasper, for Mr. Vesta was coming back.  Don’t let that dumb bastard sway you; we’re closed!  But it was too late, Mr. Vesta kept heading for the door.  His keys jangled, he opened the door, and Jasper heard him say,

“I’m afraid we’re closed; what can I do for you?”

No! screamed Jasper in his head. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, but I got off work late,

Too damn bad!  thought Jasper. 

“and I promised little Crimp here I’d buy him one of your teddy bears he saw on a shelf.  You see, it’s his birthday, he’s 6, and I told him for becoming such a big boy, I’d buy him whatever he wanted.”


Mr. Vesta must have been thinking the same thing.  “Why is he called that?”

”Oh, it’s a nickname; his real name is Carlton, but we call him Crimp; it’s a long story.”

“Now I’m intrigued; you have to tell me the story,” said Mr. Vesta.

Jasper thought, oh, s**t!

“Well, okay, see, when Carlton was born, his little wee-wee looked like it had a crimp in it.”

That’s why you call him that? He sometimes pops a woody too, why don’t you call him Turgid?

Mr. Vesta gave him a ‘too much information’ look, and said, ignoring the last conversation, “Well, a promise is a promise, come on in!” and he held the door open for Crimp and his dad.  While Mr. Vesta re-locked the door behind them, Crimp squealed, ran towards the teddy bear shelf with delight, and seemed to zero in on Jasper, even though there were several other identical teddy bears on the shelf.

No, no, no!  thought Jasper, but all his wishful thinking did no good, as Crimp reached the shelf, and grabbed Jasper by the leg, Jasper suddenly felt like a wishbone, about to be snapped. 

“Oh f**k, that hurts!”

Crimp dropped him like a hot rock, and his father and Mr. Vesta just stared with shock.  Jasper plowed into the floor and bounced a couple of times, before falling forward onto his face.  Oh, this sucks, he thought.  Now I’ll have to mumbo-jumbo their ass.


Mr. Vesta slowly became aware of his surroundings.  He blinked in surprise; he was lying on the Toy Store floor, and beside him were two customers.  What?  He had no memory of why they were here.  He’d been dreaming again, about a teddy bear who had talked...speaking of teddy bears, there was one lying on the ground.  He managed to get up and put Jasper back on the shelf.  Jasper vowed to keep his mouth firmly shut, as using the mumbo-jumbo again was more trouble than it was worth.  Mr. Vesta could remember the talking bear part of his dream, but he couldn’t remember much else.  Just then, the older of the two customers on the floor beside him stirred, and said,

“Wwwhhhaaattt happened?  Where am I?”

“You’re in the Smiling Toy Store, and as to what happened, your guess is as good as mine.”

“Smiling Toys; I don’t remem---oh yeah, Crimp wanted a teddy bear for his birthday, and I told him I’d buy him one; speaking of Crimp, Crimp, are you okay?”

The still form of Crimp at last began to stir.  “Yyyeeeaaahhh; I think so; what happened?”

“I don’t know, exactly son, but apparently we came to get your teddy bear, and all fell asleep on the floor.”

Mr. Vesta said, “Speaking of teddy bears, why don’t you grab one, no charge; Happy Birthday!”

Jasper thought, no, not again! as Crimp made a beeline straight towards him.  There are several others up here, pick one of them, but once again, his pleadings amounted to nothing, as Crimp reached as high as he could and grabbed the only part of Jasper he could reach, his leg.  Jasper felt like he was a furry pain-sling shot, as once again, he was launched upside down towards Crimp’s leering face, but he managed, somehow, to keep from crying out. 

“Gee, thanks mister, now if you'll just unlock the door, we'll just be on our way; come on Dad, I can’t wait to show everyone Mr. Furbell

 Mr. Furbell?


The End












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