Dear Winifred; Dec. 27

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  No Houses
Advice (NOT good!) column

Submitted: December 27, 2013

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Submitted: December 27, 2013

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Warning; advice given is NOT politically correct!

"Dear Winifred, what is with all shoppers around Christmas?  Pushing, shoving, cursing, and basic uncivilized, brutish behavior.  I'd like to think people would get friendlier, but I've found it's exactly the opposite.  Holiday shopping has become something I dread doing.  Any advice?  Signed Disillusioned."

 

"Dear Disillusioned, you have to become an animal if you don't want to get trampled under the feet of Christmas Shopping Present.  Learn to fight for and protect your hard-won territory.  I know it's not what you want to hear, but Christmas shopping is a blood sport, and you've got to fight fire with fire.  If you don't step up your aggression to their level, they'll run over your lifeless corpse like a steam roller over a bologna sandwich.  Winifred."


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