Dear Winifred; Dec. 30

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  No Houses
Advice (NOT good!) column

Submitted: December 30, 2013

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Submitted: December 30, 2013

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Warning; advice given is NOT politically correct!
 
"Dear Winifred, as a responsible parent, I feel there is entirely too much sugar in soda pop.  It's no wonder why Americans have such an obesity problem.  We certainly don't need such high levels of sugar in nutritionally-useless soda pop.  I'd like to see pop machines removed from schools.  I know it's only the tip of the iceberg, but I feel we have to start somewhere.  What do you think of my idea?  Signed Nutrition First."
 
"Dear Nutrition First, I know great strides have been made in the taste of sugar-free pop, what with nutra-sweet, but taste-shmaste; kids don't drink soda for the taste; they drink it, along with gorphing down several candy bars, to slap themselves awake in class.  I think therein lies the real problem; kids become obese not because of pop with sugar in it; no, school is in a dead-heat with watching paint dry; in fact, watching paint dry may be slightly preferable to listening to Mr. Herald try to explain the difference between positive and negative ions; who gives a shit?  Winifred."


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