Dear Winifred; Dec. 5

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  No Houses
Advice (NOT good!) column

Submitted: December 05, 2013

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Submitted: December 05, 2013

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Warning; advice given is NOT politically correct!

 

Dear Winifred, I writing you today because I'm fed up with people who park in handicapped parking spaces at stores and restaurants.  I'm married to a handicapped person, and we depend on those spots because it's not easy for my spouse to walk any farther than necessary.  And just because somebody who's not handicapped is running late or whatever, and it's a little easier for them to park in a handicapped space, is not only against the law, but against common decency.  If this person would just stop and think, and put themselves in our shoes; maybe they'd think twice; signed No Handicapped Spot."

 

"Dear No Handicapped Spot, here's how I recommend you handle it when some dude who can walk just fine pulls his pimp-mobile into a clearly marked handicapped parking spot; get yourself a bulldozer, drive it into the city, and when you see a dude who's obviously fine parking in a handicapped space; wait until they're gone, then lower the blade on your dozer and go straight into their car with the blade raised roughly windshield-high, and it not only make their hard-top a convertible, but it'll free up parking spot when you blade their car out of your way.  Well, you're obviously not going to buy a bulldozer, as those babies are not only unwieldy, but you'd get about 3 gallons a mile.  So here's what you do; leave a nasty note on their windshield, telling them they're a complete hole, and break out their side window with a rock.  They're likely to not get the point, as they're obviously too fricking selfish and dense, but it'll sure make you feel better; Winifred."


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