Dear Winifred; Mar. 18

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  No Houses

Advice (NOT good!) column

Dear Winifred, my problem is this; my neighbor insists on mowing his lawn almost as soon as it get light.  I work nights, and am just going to bed at that hour.  He jolts me awake out of a deep sleep, and I can't fall back asleep.  Do you think I should mention this to him?  Signed Sleepless in Senora.

 

Dear Sleepless in Senora, I have the same problem when I stay out at the tavern very late, and come home to pass out on my living room floor.  My dip-shit husband just steps over me, but the neighbors sound like they have an airport runway in their front yard, they make so much damn noise.  Shit yeah I think you should mention his rude behavior to him.  If he persists, do you have a dog?  If not, get one.  Wait until he's gone later in the morning, and let Fido take several dumps in his yard.  Hopefully, he fails to notice all the brown Christmas presents in his yard, and at the crack of dawn when he's mowing; shit-storm! This is what I did, and this rude behavior stopped real  quick.  Plus, if you get an intimidating breed, they'll quickly dissuade unwanted salesmen from coming to your door to sell you absolute crap!  Winifred

 

 


Submitted: March 18, 2014

© Copyright 2020 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.

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Joseph Mark

Great column! Its nice to see Winifred actually caring about her readers instead of insulting them. I work odd hours too, and have found that turning the TV on before crashing out blocks out all other external sound, letting me sleep while other people are doing whatever they like.

Tue, March 18th, 2014 10:54pm

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Thanks Joseph; I too let the television stay on most of the night. I know it's a waste of electricity, but I find that it too quiet if I wake up in the middle of the night, and my brain starts to think, and believe me, I do NOT want that!

Tue, March 18th, 2014 4:21pm

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