Declassified NASA Document
(An Ittellor Document)
From: Dr. Fred Ballast
To: Dr. Steve Callous
“Steve, you’ll never believe what we found upon arrival at Planet 45239. An entire civilization, extinct now, but can you believe it? We wasted all this time searching for microbes, when this civilization seemed as advanced, if not more so, than our own. We found documents (since translated to English by our linguistic experts (don’t ask me how!) so now we can read and understand their documents. I’ve included one such document here, which appears to be some sort of journal or diary:
“My name is Ittelor, and the earthquakes seem to be growing stronger. The Tower of Bluchk just fell right over, narrowly missing me, and now I’m staring at the skyline of Anakor City that for the first time in 3,788 years, doesn’t include The Tower. Now, the tallest structure is The Scarlop Building, where they manufacture The Scarlop Rocket-Car. Of course, only the first 178 floors are occupied by The Scarlop Corporation; the other 232 floors are leased office space, but it’s still weird to look up at The Double-Helix Suns, and not see The Tower, at least until the top disappeared in the methane clouds. Having a cold takaria (apparently some sort of dessert bar) bar; am feeling bloated and sleepy, but hopefully this glass of marling (apparently a kind of space-coffee) will kick my a**! Oh, oh, another earthquake! What the Crall (Hell) is going on? I’m starting to wonder if we’re all in troub--”
The document recovered from the rubble of Planet 45239 ends right there, so we must assume Planet 45239 took it in the shorts at this time. This is only one of thousands of documents radioed back from the planet. As to the fate of Saturn 27, we aren’t sure, as it takes 52 years for a radio signal to travel there, and 52 years back. There is no evidence the stasis pods are malfunctioning, but it’s only been 34 years, so we should have confirmation in about 70 years. So, enough about deep space; did you catch the Redskins game on T.V.?Piss-poor; looks like it’ll be another long season! We should get together and have a few beers; it’s been way to long! Anyway, just wanted to fill you in on the deep space deal; take care!”
© Copyright 2016 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.
Book / Humor
Book / Humor
Book / Humor
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