Denbo Makes it a Living Hell!
By Mike Stevens
Smiling Toy Shop Story # 9
Jasper just wanted him to shut up! Having recently been returned, Denbo shit on everyone, but especially him. As long as there was a kid around, Denbo was silent. But as soon as they were alone, he turned his verbal weapons on Jasper. Jasper had thought he had quite a few ranks, but Denbo took top honors, easily. It was a never ending rank-a-thon with the mean-spirited bastard bear. Jasper pleaded with his eyes, please, don’t leave me! to the last kid left in the store, to no avail, as the kid’s father and he walked out the door, where the afternoon sun sent spears of light arcing in through the blinds.
The 2 hours until closing time passed in a blur, with nobody, as in no kids or adults, coming through the door. Mr. Vesta locked the door, changed the open sign to closed, and shuffled his way into his office in the back, leaving an ominous silence, which Denbo quickly filled.
“Well Sport, it’s just you and me now. I’ve been dying to finish my list of reasons why you suck. Reason # 108; because I said so.”
The only thing Jasper could come back with was, “I don’t suck; you suck!”
“Oh, ouch; what a comeback! I should have known better than to try to verbally spar with a professional comeback boxer.”
“Screw you, you rat-faced reject!”
“See? With clever comebacks like that, I should give it up, but do you know why I’m not going to, you walking, talking mound of excrement? Because I’m having too much fun thinking up ranks on the fly; it’s too easy, really.”
Jasper felt a black rage overwhelm him, and he waddled towards Denbo, paws raised, and swung mightily towards where Denbo stood leering at him. His wild swing missed by a mile, as Denbo sidestepped easily, and, off balance, he went off the shelf and crashed painfully onto the floor, which rushed up to meet his face.
“Ah, ha, ha!,” Denbo stood looking down at him from the shelf.
“Why you freakoid!” Jasper screamed, and tried scaling the metal post in a vain attempt to get back up to Denbo. Just then, Mr. Vesta came flying out of his office, looking around wildly, and said,
“Whoever’s in here, I’ve got a metal rake, and it won’t feel very nice when I bury it to the hilt in your back; or brain you with it!”
Jasper froze; just where old man Vesta found a metal rake in a toy shop, Jasper wondered, and apparently wasn’t alone in this.
“Chill out, old man; it’s only your garden variety living teddy bears having a little disagreement,” answered Denbo.
Vesta did a classic double-take, and then stumbled backwards in fear.“Wwwhhhooo aaarrreee yyyooouuu?”
“Now, that really hurts,” answered Denbo, “don’t you know me? I’m the bear that you just got back yesterday; come on man, get with it!”
Mr. Vesta stared open-mouthed at him, and then said, “Well, I must have fallen asleep and am dreaming this; a talking teddy bear, and a also a rude one?”
“Blow me, old man!” Denbo screamed.
“Right,” answered a composed-sounding Mr. Vesta, “so who were you supposedly fighting with?
Denbo replied, “I don’t have to answer you, but he started it!” pointing at where Jasper lay motionless on the ground.
“So, this teddy bear?” and he gave Jasper a kick, that sent him arcing down aisle # 3.
Jasper plowed into the rock-hard concrete, and cried out in pain; “Ouch; son of a bitch! What was that for, huh?”
Since he already thought he was dreaming, Mr. Vesta just gave a little laugh. Jasper angrily commented,
“What are you laughing for; do you think it’s funny to kick a poor, defenseless teddy bear end-over-end across the store, huh? Then, on top of you trying to score 3 points with my ass, I’ve got to deal with this asshole,” he said, pointing at Denbo. “He makes my life a living hell!”
At last, Mr. Vesta figured out that this wasn’t a dream, and his face showed both shock and fear. He slowly started to back away, which turned into a spin around and flee, but before he could run more than a few steps, and with Denbo screaming, “Stop that bastard!”, Jasper yelled,, “Go to sleep!”, and Mr. Vesta started veering off course and slammed into the shelving that ran along the edges of aisle 3, where he lay unmoving.
“I’m glad yours still works, because something’s wrong with mine,” said Denbo.
“Yeah, well, looks like I saved both our asses.”
“Well, from the looks of you, you’d know all about, ‘asses’.”
“Oh, such a brave one; up there where I can’t get at you.”
Denbo started angrily climbing down the metal support post for the shelf, babbling, “Well, I’ll take care of that right now!”, and soon he reached the floor and turned towards Jasper, grabbing his crotch and saying, “I got your brave, right here!”
Jasper felt rage rise up in him, and yelled, “Not much bravery, from what I can see!”
Denbo turned a deeper shade of brown, and charged. Fur flew, as the two teddy bears attacked each other.
Later, the two bears having exhausted each other with their fighting, they were both too tired to do anything but sit on the floor, for once in silence, although Jasper somehow found the strength to crawl over and whisper in Mr. Vesta’s ear.
After a while, Mr. Vesta slowly woke up. He wasn’t sure what had happened, but, seeing Jasper and Denbo lying on the floor, and not noticing the tufts of brown fur lying everywhere, and not noticing the splotches of missing fur on the 2 teddy bears, picked them up and put them back up on the shelf. Denbo whispered to Jasper, “This isn’t over!”
Jasper whispered back, “Bring it on, Rat-face!”
© Copyright 2016 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.
Poem / Humor
Poem / Humor
Poem / Humor
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