Dr. Booze--Just how Stupid are You?
A Test for All You Little B******s Out There
Kids, Dr. Booze has come up with a test that asks the question, “Just how stupid are you?” To calculate just how stupid you are, answer the following questions (Answers at bottom of page, if you’re even smart enough to figure that out!):
Question 1: On your way through the living room, your dad holds out his empty beer bottle. You should: A. Get him another. B: Tell him to get off his dead a** and get it himself, or C: Goad him by calling him a p****r, and then laugh when he drunkenly attempts to get up, so as to kick your a**.
Question 2. Your friend Jim calls, and says he stole $50 dollars out of his mom’s purse. You should: A: Tell Jim to return the money, as stealing is wrong. B: Tell Jim that you can’t be a party to something so dishonest, or C: Tell Jim to look for more money, and have a party on his unsuspecting mom’s dime!
Question 3: You get in trouble at school, and have to go to the principal’s office. You should: A: Be mortified and vow never to break the rules again. B: Proclaim your innocence, loudly, or C: Stop making fun of the kid with buck teeth, zits all over his face, and a homemade tee shirt, proudly proclaiming, “My Pants are Full!”
Question 4: You accidently see Mrs. Connors naked through her bedroom window, you should: A. Avert your eyes, as becoming a voyeur, even by accident, is so wrong. B: Look, but feel funny every time you see Mrs. Connors, or C: Invite all you friends, buy some beer, sit back and y’all enjoy!
That’s all the questions I have for you today. Answers:
If you answered A to each question, you should have your own religious show on cable!
If you answered B to each question, you’re wavering on being about a smart as having a screen door on a submarine (I KNEW 2nd grade would pay off one day!), but there may be hope for you yet.
If you answered C to each question, you're absolutely stupid, but normal, so relax!
© Copyright 2016 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.
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