Duck Hunting Day; poem

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  No Houses

My 1st high school assembly!


Oh, no, say it isn’t so, bro!

Over the intercom comes this demon-voice

Saying, “All students report to the gymnasium for

An assembly.”  Assembly, my ass, it was Sophomore

Initiation Day; where juniors and seniors got to abuse

Us lowly sophomores.  Already uncomfortable, and wishing

I was invisible, the last thing I wanted was any attention

Whatsoever being heaped on me.  We filed into the gym,

And had to sit on the floor, while seniors sat on one

Side of the bleachers, and the juniors on the other,

And it was a madhouse.  Almost immediately, the air

Was filled with flying stuff, as the juniors and seniors

Took out their lowly opinion of us sophomores, by hurling

Coins, other assorted aerodynamic items,

And eggs, lots of eggs.  It was a school-sanctioned

Launching pad, and we sophomores were set up

As perfect targets.  I just kept my head down as gravity

Brought embarrassment and projectiles reining from the skies

If I’d had a circular saw and a shovel, I’d have cut and

Dug my way right out of there, but it seems

I’d left those particular items in my locker; so the best

I could hope for was a quick ending to Sophomore Duck

Hunting Day.  I’d almost survived, when something

Smacked me in the jaw; it was an egg; it stung, let me tell

You, but I wasn’t about to show it; looking back on it,

I was lucky it didn’t hit me in the eye.  Anyway,

I managed to survive, somehow, with nothing else nailing me,

And we filed out of the gym; later, I found out that

My older friends knew who through the flying jelly-filled orb

That hit me in the face, but no one would tell me,

Which was lucky for me, because I would have been

Forced to never say anything to the thrower

Anyway, high school was off to a flying start, literally!

Submitted: May 06, 2013

© Copyright 2022 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:



I have to say I am shocked that such abuse was allowed to happen. It must have be pretty traumatic. I would hope that schools are much more aware now of not only the physical but mental injury such and event can have.

Tue, May 7th, 2013 5:20pm


I think it caught the teachers by surprise, too; by the time my brother went to school there, he didn't see any of that!

Tue, May 7th, 2013 11:30am

Jean Lagace

You have had a hard life. It explains a lot.

Wed, May 8th, 2013 10:22pm


Oh, while it's true my school years weren't that great, it's gotten better since then; other than having my head bashed in!

Wed, May 8th, 2013 3:37pm

Patri Poe

I commented on this before, but realize that my comment must be lost in space. Anyhow, it's shocking that any school would condone this. It's a terrible thing when schools allow bullying, but to actually encourage it? Shame on them!

Thu, May 16th, 2013 3:08am


I don't think they actually encouraged it, but it was that they didn't know how to stop it; that turning a blind eye was just me seeing it through a 15 year old's eyes. Sorry if I gave the impression that the school encouraged it; that wasn't fair!

Thu, May 16th, 2013 6:28am

Patri Poe

Mike, thanks for clearing that up. I am glad to hear that the school didn't encourage it, but I do hope they tried to prevent it from happening again. Kids can be cruel :(

Sat, May 18th, 2013 3:03am


I'm pretty sure they fixed that little problem; I just wish it was after me!

Fri, May 17th, 2013 9:44pm


What an introduction! What a school! And no wonder you wanted that saw and shovel. Yep, it is made out to be a modern thing but bullying has been around in schools for years. And don't I know it. Nice one, Mike!

Sat, August 13th, 2016 7:18pm


Thanks, Hully, and absolutely true, unfortunately for me!

Sat, August 13th, 2016 1:53pm

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