Fisty the Snowman

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  No Houses

A lecherous snowman!

Fisty the Snowman is a perverted kind of dude

With his unsettling glare, he makes girls nervous,

Yes, his openly-sexual stare is rude!


Fisty the Snowman is on the cops radar

He's supposed to stay at least 100 feet away

The last thing he wants to see are the lights of a patrol car!


He's made of snow but his perversion makes him melt

He's literally killing himself but he can't help it at all

He figures without it though, he'd not be so fricking svelt!


Oh, Fisty the Snowman was meant to have a carrot for a nose

But it was placed much lower by some drunken kids,

Came as quite a shock to the ladies I suppose!


Pump, pump, pump, pump, pumpity pump pump,

Look at Fisty go!

Pump, pump. pump, pumity pump, pump

He's really melting that snow!


Fisty the Snowman knew that soon he'd be facing the meat police

So he hopped a bus for The North Pole,

For there were some hot chick-elves there at least!


But aboard the bus with his carrot in his hand,

He got some hateful looks from the other passengers

See, he couldn't wait till he got to that northern land!


His was a perversion completely out of control

His mind was in his snow-pants

His carrot was always high as opposed to hanging low!


He got off the bus, saw a cop, and said, "catch me if you can!"

The cop grabbed up some road salt that was put upon the ice,

If he only had it to do over again!


For the cop gave it a heave right on Fisty's head

Oh how that perverted snowman screamed, as he melted to nothing,

Just a puddle, for Fisty was dead!





Submitted: December 19, 2014

© Copyright 2021 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Annarose 86

That is a very interesting point I like the rhythm of it I've never read something about a perverted snowmen before

Fri, December 19th, 2014 5:05pm


Thank you much!

Fri, December 19th, 2014 9:40am

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