Inspector Jimmy of Scotland Yard: The Case of the Missing Candy
By Mike Stevens
A Jimmy Tilford Tale
10 year old Jimmy Tilford was frantic; he couldn’t find the candy bar he’d hidden in the bread drawer, behind the old 1/2-eaten loaf of wheat bread, that had been shoved behind the fresher loaf of white bread. He had hidden it there, because his older brother Tim, when he’d stop by to visit (he lived on his own) always seemed to eat Jimmy’s favorite candy out of the usual candy drawer. Jimmy wished he was as smart as Inspector Jimmy (forgetting the fact he WAS Inspector Jimmy!):
Inspector Jimmy kept a close eye on the table full of suspects he had rounded up for questioning. He had been called in to try and solve a mystery; one of the six people here had eaten the expensive candy bar Mrs. Jefferies kept on display, almost like it was a piece of artwork (to be fair, it Was mighty beautiful!)
Never mind that it made no sense; Jimmy was controlling the daydream, and he wanted it to be about a candy bar!
One of six people, who were all proclaiming their innocence, had chowed down on the expensive, almost-a-work-of-art candy bar, and Inspector Jimmy WOULD find the culprit!
“Sir, where were you during said candy-chomping?” asked Inspector Jimmy, of a tall, thin man who was looking particularly guilty, at least to Inspector Jimmy.
“I was in the study.”
“A likely story; well, if you were in the study, what subject were you studying? "
“I said, if you were in the stu---”
“I heard you; I just can’t believe the question. It’s not that kind of study; a library!”
Jimmy didn’t know the difference, so it was time to play dumb,(forgetting the fact this was all coming out of his brain!)
“I knew that; I was hoping you’d slip up and say something incri--incri--bad!”
The next guiltiest-looking suspect was David Compost, a man who kept shifting his gaze every few seconds, a dead give away for deception, in Inspector Jimmy’s book.
“Where were you, sir, during the candy caper?”
“I was in the living room.”
“Did anyone see you there?”
“Not to my knowledge.”
Inspector Jimmy asked Compost a few more questions; asked the other suspects some questions, then announced he knew the guilty person.
“I’ve been able to deduce which one of you is the guilty party.”
His gaze touched briefly on 5 of the 6 possible suspects, before coming to rest on the 6th.
“You, sir, are the guilty one!”
David Compost looked around desperately at the other 5 suspects, and proclaimed, “You have no proof; I answered every question satisfactorily!”
Jimmy thought that was a word, but he was 10!
“Correction, you answered every question satisfactorily EXCEPT where you were during the theft of the candy bar.”
“Oh no you’re not!”
“I don’t see how you could say that I did it, when nothing I said could possibly lead you to that opinion.”
“Oh, it wasn’t what you said; it was the chocolate all over your mouth!”
“What? I looked in the bathroom mirror just before coming out here for your meeting, and saw nothing!”
“Well, you must have missed several spots.”
Jimmy snapped back to reality when he suddenly remembered he’d at first hid the candy bar in the bread drawer, before changing his mind and moving it to the back of the junk drawer. Sure enough, the candy bar was there. Jimmy said a silent apology to everyone in his family he’d suspected of the outrage, tore off the candy wrapper, and stuffed as much of it in his mouth as he could.
© Copyright 2016 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.
Book / Humor
Book / Humor
Book / Humor
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