Jasper's Rage; Smiling Toy Shop story # 16

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  No Houses

Jasper's return!

By Mike Stevens

Smiling Toy Shop story # 16

Jasper reach down deep inside for all his intestinal fortitude, not that he had any intestines, mind you, but you get the idea.  He was at last rid of his nemesis, the bastard other living teddy bear named Denbo, who’d moved on to greener bastard pastures.  Now, if only all the little sawed-off pecker-children would move on too, he’d be one happy teddy bear; well, not exactly happy, but better now the Dickbo was gone.  Oh shit, here came Mr. Vesta.  It wouldn't be long before sawed-off little pecker-children were swarming over this place, fondling and feeling him up.  Since he'd ended up here, he'd been happier than anywhere else, but the little demon-customers; huh!  Mr. Vesta sat down at his desk, finishing up some paperwork from last night.  Mr Vesta was the owner of this place, and he was an all right guy, he supposed, but the customers?

"How's it hanging, Mr, Vesta?" he asked.  Nothing; no response from Vesta, who just kept his head bent over the paperwork. 

"I said, HOW'S IT HANGING, MR. VESTA?"  This time he shouted it.  Still no reaction by Vesta. 

"Oh, I see, this is your immature way of letting me know you're pissed off at me for not speaking in front of the little pecker-children, huh?  Well, let me tell you something, old man; I could give about 5 shits, okay?"  Still, Mr. Vesta just sat there, making imaginary scribbles on the paperwork on the desk in front of him.  Jasper vented his spleen,

"Oh yeah?  Well I'll show you what happens when you try to ignore me, you fricking jerk-weed!" and he tried to tip over the shelving next to him.  It wouldn't budge.  This only enraged Jasper further. 

"Come on, you morphadite son of a bitch!"  and he swept everything on the bottom shelf out into the aisle way.  Model cars made their escape; as they rolled away.  Dolls stared sightlessly up at the ceiling, or down at the floor, and a couple of snow globes shattered and sent water and globs of fake snow running in rivulets down the floor of aisle 3.  Mr. Vesta just looked up from his desk, shook his head, and said quietly,

"Are you through?  Do you feel better now?"

Jasper replied, "Well, at least you looked at me.  Look, I know you're mad at me, but I just couldn't do it; let all those little pecker-children know I was alive.  I'm sorry, as I know what this place means to you, but we'll just have to think of another way to save the store."

"Well, I've thought of another way, and it doesn't involve you."

"Oh yeah?  How?"

"I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but I'm going to grow my own pot and sell it."

Jasper couldn't believe what he was hearing.  "Pot; you?"

Vesta shot back with, "What, you don't believe that a guy my age would even know the first thing about growing weed?"

"Well, yes, I suppose.  I'm very surprised that a guy your age would be willing to break the law like that."

"Listen, back in the 60's I lived in a commune, and we grew our own dope, so I do know a little something about it."

"Well I'll be.  I guess you really do learn something every day."

"Yeah, well, thanks again for nothing; I've got it from here."

"Whoa, there, I've apologized for not doing what we agreed upon, and tried to begin to explained why"

"Yeah, you did, but I don't accept you reason.  The bottom line is you still left me looking less-than-smart to the children."

"Oh, by all means, keep blaming me; it couldn't possibly have to do with the fact that you are, how did you put it?  Oh yeah, 'less-than-smart'; I call it dumber than a chicken going into a wolf's den.  Duh, "Mommy. why do I have just a bloody stump where my foot used to be?  And why are all the wolves staring at me and slobbering?"  Hello?"

Mr. Vesta then attacked Jasper.  Jasper sidestepped a snarling Mr. Vesta, who pin wheeled down Aisle 3, landing in a heap.  Again, after hauling himself up, Mr. Vesta charged once more, yelling,

"Nobody talks to me like that!", and was promptly swatted aside immediately by Jasper; again landing in a crumpled heap on the floor.  When he again tried to stand up, so he could charge again, Jasper sighed, saying,

"Stay down, old man."

But Mr. Vesta was beyond all reason.  He finished standing up, turned towards Jasper, shouting, "This time, sucker!"

Jasper felt he had no choice but to shout, "Mumbo-Jumbo!"  He would have much rather Mr. Vesta accept his apology, but...  Mr. Vesta immediately slumped to the floor. 

Oh well! thought Jasper.  Then he looked at the crumpled Mr. Vesta, wearing a cardigan sweater, and thought, reefer madness; really?

The End




Submitted: August 02, 2013

© Copyright 2021 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.

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