Metronome of the Damned!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  No Houses
Incessant barking drives a man insane!

Submitted: June 21, 2015

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Submitted: June 21, 2015

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Swifty Basker smiled to himself, and took another sip of coffee. It was a relaxing Sunday morning, and he had been looking forward peace and quiet. It had been a week from Hell, where he worked all day on an assembly line, for a company that made place mats. They had been forced to work overtime, and that's why the peace and quiet was so enjoyable. He would read the paper and not think about the upcoming week. He was mid-sip on a mouthful of coffee when suddenly, it was nails on the chalkboard time, as the shrill barking of the damn neighbor dog broke the silence. Not again, not now! He knew once he started barking, he wouldn't shut up for hours. The neighbors threw the dog out in the yard, and proceeded to ignore the poor bastard for hours, leaving him to rattle your filings with his annoying bark. Maybe the filling rattling was his teeth grinding together, but whatever the reason, it grated on the nerves.

******

Several hours had passed, and the peaceful quiet of this Sunday morning had turned into Hell Hound of the Baskervilles. The barking never stopped, until Swifty swore the damn dog was tied up in his brain. He tried his best to ignore the loud brayings of one bored pooch, but it was impossible. He turned up the volume on his T.V., and that helped block out the sound a little, but at every quiet spot of the show, the annoying sound of barking flooded the room, and his ears.

 

******

 

For two months, he'd put up with the non-stop barking--he wished he could be more assertive and voice his displeasure with the neighbors, but didn't want to come off as rude. He hoped against hope that they would magically realize the level of pain-in-the-assessness their dog's barking was, and put an end to it, but that was just wishful thinking, so he grabbed up the phone and dialed their number.

"Hello?" Mrs. Deacons answered.

"Yes, hello, Mrs. Deacons, I hate to bother you, but I just can't take it anymore."

"What are you referring to?"

"That incessant barking--I frankly don't see how you can ignore it. The poor dog just wants some companionship, yet you just ignore it. On and on for two months!"

There was an awkward silence, until Swifty figured she'd hung up on him. Didn't that just figure, she'd gotten pissed off at him and hung up. That was what always happened with her, she got angry anytime anyone dared to criticize anything that had to do with the damn dog, and hung up--real mature! He was in the process of hanging up the phone, when he heard her voice coming from the receiver. She hadn't hung up, but he figured it would only be a matter of time. He snatched the receiver back up to his ear, and heard,

"...months ago."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Deacons, please repeat that?"

"I said Serenity passed away a couple of months ago."

Swifty heard the words, but it seemed his reality was collapsing in on itself. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Now it was Mrs. Deacons who thought he had hung up on her. "Hello, hello, are you still ther--"

This time he'd actually hung up the phone. He sat there in stunned silence. He couldn't believe it--died two months ago? Outside, he heard the deceased Serenity still barking--oh my god, it would never end, apparently not even in death--he was so screwed. Apparently, Hell was real, and this was his punishment!

The End

 

 

 

 

 


© Copyright 2019 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.

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