Dean, the bastard, totally-mean spaceman
was looking for some hot-looking land
and he’d heard that land was cheap on the moon
The other astronauts thought him a buffoon
Dean figured he could be the first guy
and at this thought, he got a wicked gleam in his eye
to build cheap-a** condos and rent them out
Oh, sure, there wasn’t much call now, but he had no doubt
soon, he’d be the owner of a real cash cow
He’d just wait a few more years, and 'pow'!
Here on the Earth, home prices were going out of sight
That people were looking for an alternative, he was sure he was right
Then he could gloat as prices took off like a rocket
People would line up to throw gold in his pocket
He’d be proven correct and he’d have the last laugh
Then, these morons wouldn’t think he was daft
Because he was so mean, at first, the rents would be low
Word of mouth would spread, but little did they know
that once they were moved in, and been there a few months,
that once they were totally hooked on the moon’s hunts--
err--haunts, their rents would go up, and up, ‘till Dean had enough,
and when they complained, Dean would just say, “Tough!”
He’d pick yet-another planet, and then he’d build again
He’d build casinos and liquor stores, whatever’s your sin
There would be obscene profits, out of this world
He would rake in the dough, until he had squirreled
enough away that he could retire, rich
But, one day, years after buying, Dean exclaimed, “Well, I’ll be a son of a b***h!”
20 years had past and Dean was totally stumped
No one had bought a condo, and Bob needed cash to be pumped
into his bank account, he had a lot of bills to pay,
in order to keep the fricking leach-creditors at bay
The last time we saw old Dean and his wonderful plan,
he had gone t***-up on his fricking “Lunar Land”
© Copyright 2017 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.
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