By Mike Stevens
Smiling Toy Shop story #10
Jasper the teddy bear was enjoying the peace and quiet of the silence, for once. For the moment, the Smiling Toy Shop was empty of the little rodents that made his life a living hell. Speaking of a living hell, he wondered where Denbo was? Denbo was another living teddy bear, and a bigger knob there could never be. Mr. Vesta had grabbed Denbo from his perch right next to him, and walked away with him. Jasper didn’t know why Denbo was taken by Mr. Vesta, nor did he particularly give a shit. He was just thankful for the respite from his mean-spirited babblings; the bastard teddy bear never shut up! It had been bad enough when he had thought he was the only living teddy bear on the planet, but then came Denbo. Now he would give anything to return to thinking that. There were worse things that feeling alone, and Denbo was his name-o!
“D-e-n-b-o, D-e-n-b-o, D-e-n-b-o, and Denbo was his name-o!” he sang quietly to himself. What a prick!
Jasper was enjoying the solitude, when the bell over the front door chimed, and in walked a nightmare in shorts; a little bastard-kid, followed by his father, Jasper supposed. Upon hearing the chiming bell, Mr. Vesta came out of his office, smiled, and said, “You must be Skeeter Maguire’s father, and this must be the great man himself!”
“Yeah, yeah, cut the crap, where’s my teddy bear?” replied the great man himself.
What a bastard; thought Jasper.
“Skeeter, is that any way to talk to this nice gentleman? I’m Mark Maguire, not the Mark Maguire.”
No shit; Jasper added to his thoughts, not that he knew who Mark Maguire was, but it must be someone famous, and that wouldn’t be this dumb shit.
“We called earlier and reserved a teddy bear?”
“Yes, I have one for you right here,” and he pulled one from behind his back. At first, Jasper didn’t realize who the bear was, but then he heard,
“Ouch, I tried to keep my mouth shut, but this is bullshit. I was desperate to get out of here, and away from Mr. Dip-Shit over there,” he said, glancing right at Jasper, “but not so desperate that I’m going to stay silent while my arms are ripped off, and definitely not desperate enough to willingly go anywhere with a reject-looking kid like you!”
Mr. Vesta and Mark Maguire both looked scared, but not Skeeter Maguire; no, he turned beet red and yelled, “Who are you calling reject-looking?”
“Why, I only see one reject-looking kid here; your old man got too old to qualify years ago, but now he’s a reject-looking adult.”
“Wow, with a comeback like that, you could become the first reject-looking stand-up kid!”
Skeeter Maguire let out an anguished cry and ran over and grabbed Denbo before he could move out of the way. “Hey, put me down, you little sh---,“ but before he could finish his comment, he found himself flying through the air, where he arced down and landed in the smooth aisle way, after smashing painfully into the wall.
He lay there stunned for a second, then rolled over on his back, and exclaiming “Oh, balls does that hurt!”
Mr. Vesta and Mark Maguire just stared at the unbelievable scene, but Jasper decided they had to put an end to this. “As much as I’m enjoying seeing you fly long distances, like the home runs the real Mark Maguire hit, I think it’s time to mumbo-jumbo their asses, don’t you?”
Mr. Vesta and Mr. Maguire looked at each other, as if to say, “Not another one!”
Denbo replied, “Yeah, I guess you’re right, go ahead; although now you’ll be stuck with my ass some more.”
Great! thought Jasper, before yelling “Mumbo-Jumbo!” All 3 of the humans slumped immediately to the floor. Jasper repelled down the post from where he sat on the shelf, waddled over and whispered a suggestion in each person’s ear, and then went over by Denbo and sat down. Denbo shoved him and yelled,
“Hey, not so close, Mr. Friendly-Hands!”
Jasper just gave him a look.
After a few minutes, all three humans were stirring. “Wwwhhhaaattt happened?” Mr. Vesta said.
“III dddooonnn’ttt know, but Skeeter and I have to get going,” answered a groggy Mark Maguire.
“Ohhh, fffaaattthhheeerrr, I know you’re right, but I was having a great time here, thanks to Mr. Vesta, who couldn’t have been nicer, or kinder!”
“I know son, but the grass isn’t going to rake itself. Now say goodbye to this kind, friendly gentleman, and let’s hit the car.”
“Oh, okay father; goodbye, and I’d like to come back here, if you wouldn’t mind?”
“Goodbye, son, and you’re welcome any time; it’s such a pleasure having nice, respectful children like you in here,” replied Mr. Vesta.
After Mark Maguire and his son left to rake the grass, Mr. Vesta chuckled and gently picked up Jasper and Denbo off the floor and set them back upon the shelf. Then he walked into his office and shut the door. Denbo turned to Jasper and smirked,
“’You’re such a nice and kind man; thank you,’ what a load of crap; the kid was a dick!”
“Yeah, that’s why I planted that suggestion in his brain.”
“You know, for such a slope-headed dip-shit teddy bear, every once in a while, you actually come up with a halfway-decent idea!”
“Eat it, Denbo!”
© Copyright 2016 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.
Poem / Humor
Poem / Humor
Poem / Humor
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