More Declassified NASA Documents
From the Journal of Ittelor*
“Wow, we just traced the signal from ‘Philadelphia’, and found out it’s coming from an unknown, war-like planet in the Delcon Sector. We’re mounting an invasion force, using our new ‘Light Speed Plus Blaster Ships’. Judging by radio signals intercepted from the planet, it’s referred to as ‘Earth”, although that may be code for “Overlord”. Our analysts are still working out what is meant by a ‘world’s fair’ constantly mentioned in the intercepted radio signals, but the consensus is that it’s code for,
“We’re coming to annihilate your a**!”, so we’re going to strike them first.
"A warning to all citizens of Luxuria, report ANY unexplained lights you may see in the sky, as it might be an attack from ‘Earth”. If you do see any unexplained lights, DO NOT panic! Contact The Luxurian authorities, and stay inside, away from windows, preferably in a windowless basement. We suggest you have at least a two year supply of food, water, and essentials. Rest assured, we don’t want to alarm anyone, but better safe than sorry; the enemy capabilities are unknown.”
Darlink Peroosian followed his friends into the dark that surrounded The Luxurian Army base. They had successfully scaled the safety fence, and now were surrounded by Luxurian Attack Rocket Ships. When his friends suggested they pull a prank to relieve their boredom, he at first was excited, then scared when someone suggested colaxing (sugaring) The Luxurian Army’s Rocket Ships’ gas tanks. They were doing a lot more than pulling a prank. They could get in BIG trouble. But, like any 40 year old Luxurian, he didn’t want to appear to be a pansy, so he went along with it. Maybe when he was older, say 150 or so, he’d regret it, but you were only young once. So he found himself sneaking through the darkness, colax in hands.
There, the last Rocket Ship was successfully colaxed. They climbed back over the safety fence, and disappeared into the night.
“Apparently, the planned invasion is off; something is wrong with all the Luxurian Rocket Ships. When the fighter pilots turned the key to the ignition, the Light Speed Plus engines just cranked and cranked, and wouldn’t start. Our military analysts aren’t sure, but they suspect somehow, ‘Earth’ has agents secretly among us, who have sabotaged our Rocket Ships, leaving us crippled militarily; unable to defend against an attack. Bolaria (God) help us all!”
*Now with new and improved translation
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