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Miscellaneous by: Mike Stevens

Genre: Humor

Houses:

Miscellaneous by: Mike Stevens

Details

Genre: Humor

Houses:

Summary

As a fan of heavy metal music, I got to thinking, "What would you get if you crossed people's preconceived image of heavy metal, with classical music?" below you'll find what might happen, at least my version!

Summary

As a fan of heavy metal music, I got to thinking, "What would you get if you crossed people's preconceived image of heavy metal, with classical music?" below you'll find what might happen, at least my version!

Content

Submitted: July 07, 2011

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Content

Submitted: July 07, 2011

A A A

A A A


 

Symphonic Warning

Strings of Fire

Advertisement

“You say you like to relax and be bludgeoned by heavy metal rock at the same time?  Now you can with this brand-new approach to heavy metal.  Symphonic Warning combines relaxing classical music, with the spirit of aggression that lies within heavy metal music.  Substitute strings and woodwinds for the pounding attack of screaming electric guitars, and what you get is the new Symphonic Warning EP, Strings of Fire.  It is music that lyrically has all the troubled angst of heavy metal, without the incredible volume that upsets anyone within a 5 mile radius.  So order the new Symphonic Warning EP, Strings of Fire, today, and flip off the world, only a lot quieter!”

 

A Night of Burning

 

Verse:

 

Use asbestos gloves to play this deal

Yeah, this thing is white-hot; the danger is real

Most people think of classical music as benign

But not this music, this is the burning kind

 

Pre-Chorus:

 

Bring your welding goggles to view this show

Bring you ear plugs too, now you’ve been told

 

Verse: 

 

It’s a raging inferno, it’s a sheet of flame

If you’re listening to this to relax, you’ll never be the same

For it’s aggression in a tuxedo and tails

On your body it is pounding, on your head it wails

 

Repeat Pre-Chorus:

 

Chorus:

 

See it shoot a wall of fire, over your head

It needs no words to say what should be said

So get ready for A Night of Burning

Demons in their grave, over are turning

 

Verse:

 

It’s very heavy music disguised as light

It’ll suck the blood out of your body; you’ll turn white

You’ll hear the flute substituted for electric guitar,

but it still will hammer you, no matter how near, or how far

 

Repeat Pre-Chorus:

 

Repeat Chorus:

 

END

 

Soothing hammer

 

Verse: 

 

Down goes the conductor’s hands

And you’re off to Heavy Music Land

Oh sure, it’s not heavy in traditional ways,

but it’s more subliminal; that’s the way it plays

 

Pre-Chorus:

 

While you hear relaxing, it slams into your brain

While you feel quiet calm, it’s working to drive you insane

 

Verse:

 

Hear the violins; oh, so relaxing

Lulls you to sleep as your pain is maxing

Hear the cello as your world flies apart

Feel the mellow even as a dagger pierces your heart

 

Repeat Pre-Chorus:

 

Chorus:

 

Fall asleep as The Soothing Hammer it rings

Hear all the joy and misery it brings

Yes, it’s a symphonic warning telling you to flee

If you know what’s good for you, you’ll listen to me

 

Verse:

 

It tricks you into thinking there’s peace on Earth,

even as the human waste that is your world’s getting worse

It may be naive to listen to our s***,

but at least you are happy, when the dirt you’ve bit

 

Repeat Pre-Chorus:

 

Repeat Chorus:

END

 

Blood Under the Sycamore Tree

 

Verse:

 

You’re having a quiet picnic under a cloudless sky

Little do you know that you’re about to die

As the relaxing tones of classical music fills the air,

You’re living through a heavy metal nightmare

 

Pre-Chorus:

 

See the Beast as he smashes your head

As the classical song reaches the end, you’re dead

 

Verse:

 

It’s should be so tranquil, but instead you scream

It’s music torches your face with it’s boiling-hot steam

See the peaceful glen, hear the birds sing

Then, see the blood spout, hear the screams ring

 

Repeat Pre-Chorus:

 

Chorus:

 

Yes, see the Blood Under the Sycamore Trees

It’s dripping from the dead branches, you watch in total disbelief

You expected only a quiet meal,

not this totally nightmarish deal

 

Verse:

 

As you’re soaking up the last of the sun’s rays

The tree your sitting under comes to life and says:

“I’m a talking tree, and your a** is mine

I’ll make this picnic the killing kind!”

 

Repeat Pre-Chorus:

 

 Repeat Chorus:

 

END

 


© Copyright 2016 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.

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