“The Flames of Happiness Tour”
“Due to money—err—the stampede-like demand for their return, The Beelza-Buddies have reformed and are embarking on a killer tour. So don’t be an idiot and miss them again when “The Flames of Happiness” Tour steam-rolls into your town!”
“The Damn-Heavy Metal Entertainment Group is proud to announce the “Flames of Happiness” tour, by those slayers of all things good, The Beelzabuddies. Tickets are just $72.21 apiece. And now, if you order at least 27 tickets, not only will you receive ducats to the heaviest, gloomiest, darkest concert by The Beelzabuddies (with special guests, Gut-Spew), but you’ll receive, absolutely free, a gift certificate from Trench-Coat City. So, not only will you hear evil and feel evil, you’ll look evil! You’ll get to see The Beelzabuddies incredible Fire-Breathing Head. (The Beelzabuddies Flame-Resistant Rock Shirt, The Beelzabuddies Anti-Face Torch Safety Glasses, and The Beelzabuddies Brand Fire Extinguishers will also be available, for a nominal fee.) The Fire-Breathing Head shoots geysers of red-hot fire over 100 feet. (The Beelzabuddies are not responsible for accidental third-degree burns incurred by concert patrons) So, round up your depressed friends, and see the ‘hottest’ show in town; your town!”
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