You Make Your Own Excitement!
By Mike Stevens
A Jimmy Tilford Tale
The sun was setting on the town of Wobbly Knob, and 10 year old Jimmy Tilford was completely and utterly bored. There was nothing to do. He had complained to his mom, and got a lecture on going out and finding something. Great advice, Mom! I’m sure when you and Dad were young, which is hard for me to imagine, there were plenty of exciting things to do. It’s not like that today! Boy, his parents just didn’t understand! He was kicking an old rusty can in his front yard. He’d kick it one way, walk to where it lay in the grass, then kick it back; woo; somebody call The Fun Police, because he must be over the legal limit!
After a couple of hours of kicking the rusty can, Jimmy reluctantly headed back to the house. Boy, that was exciting; an old rusty can! As he walked, he saw their old picnic table, and suddenly it sprouted sails, and cannon appeared lining the deck. Suddenly, he was not Jimmy, 10 year old boy, he was Captain Jimmy, pirate, and he led a group of pirates, robbing and looting, something that he’d never do in real life.
The ship carrying gold doubloons back to Spain, was making a run for it. Not today; today, he would have that gold; it was a good day to be rich! He gave the order to his crew to fire a warning shot across their bow. Soon, there came a tremendous ‘boom!’, and a few seconds later, a huge ‘splash!’ just ahead of the fleeing ship.
“Ha, ha, good shooting, men!” he exclaimed. The fleeing ship’s sails lowered to the deck, and the ship hove to.
“Prepare for boarding.”
“Aye, Captain!” answered a one-eyed pirate, complete with the expected eye patch, and as the pirate ship pulled along side, men poured over the side of the pirate ship, and...
“Wait a minute; I need to name my ship; but what?”Jimmy said out loud. This was a grand adventure, but he needed a name that would tell everyone that this was one ship you didn’t want to mess with. Somehow, the name The Picnic Table didn’t seem very scary. How about The Sword; yeah, that was more like it!
The Sword’s cannons made sure that the hapless ship didn’t have a change of heart. The enemy crew stood looking sullen, but what could they really do? The enemy captain appeared at the rail, and Captain Jimmy said,
“Sir, we will not harm you or your crew; all we want is the gold.”
“Sir, I protest; this is a ship of the Spanish government, and this is an outrage!” replied the enemy captain, and he withdrew his sword, saying, “You’ll have that gold over my dead body!”
“That can be arranged, sir!” replied Captain Jimmy, withdrawing his own weapon. Suddenly, the decks were filled with shouting, cursing men.
Jimmy didn’t know many curse words, so,“Scoundrels!” was about Captain Jimmy’s harshest word. The battle raged back and forth, with first one side, and then the other winning.
Captain Jimmy was so caught up in his daydream, he was shocked to hear his mother’s voice,
“Jimmy, it’s time for dinner!”
What was she doing out here in the middle of the ocean? Suddenly, The Sword became just a picnic table again, and Captain Jimmy became just a 10 year old boy again, and he realized that he’d lost track of time. Where had the day gone?
© Copyright 2016 Mike Stevens. All rights reserved.
Book / Humor
Book / Humor
Book / Humor
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