I escaped from a Tokyo fraternity catholic school to the nearest airport. I already prepared anything:
- Fake ID
- My Kenobi SmartPhone (I've always been a loyal customer)
- My USB
- My .... Wallet!!!
Shit I've forgot my wallet, well I guess I'm gonna hack an ATM machine now... That's right, using this Kenobi SmartPhone I can. I got US$ 1,000 bitches. Now I'm gonna go straight to buy a first class ticket ... "Excuse me ma'am, what's a quick destination to go to right now?", the robot ticketing lady answered "Austin, Texas sir". Austin, Texas? awesome... "I'll take it, Austin one way".
That was yesterday.
I was running too fast I guess, because my fuel tank is empty. So I stopped and hid at the nearest gas station with their touch-screen choices, I chose 13 gallons of petrol. Too bad I was too stupid too realize that the police is already behind me. "Any explanations for your mischievious doings sir?" oh my god, I thought "Juvenile delinquency? C'mon that's not so bad right!?" while I pretended to laugh, looking like an idiot to everyone "Yes, that's effin bad" he responded.
Oh sorry, my name is John as in John Doe? Only my last name is Kenobi, yes my grandpa owns Kenobi Corp. I admire him, that's why I'm a loyal customer. My biological parents are pretty much cool writers for stories relating to Hip Hop and life growing up on the streets. My parents who adopt me are YouTube stars, so famous for their dumb antiques such as cats doing battle rap and a cartoon about teen pregnancy, once they did a video when I was 6 and the video was I participating in a ballet concert. I was so embarassed that I hacked their YouTube account and replace it with a video of cats fornicating, a really bad image for them. Even though they are a bit of a drunkyard, I still love them.
"Huge mistake mister! Thinking your the best hacker, the shit" this cop makes me want to strangle his face. Interrogation rooms, always so familiar. Only this time I was in Texas instead of Tokyo. Finally, after an hour long of talking nonsense, he finally left. So this dumb guard he grabs me and he leaves me near the computer. I never felt so lucky this way. So I have no choice but to hack the facility fast! He grabs me again, and throw me into the cell. "You're gonna be serving here for a long night son" he said, yeah right. Just wait a-hole "5,4,3,2,1" beep! Again I ran as fast as I can.
I am free! I thought, until I saw a gang of f-tards trying to rape a chick. I use my limited knowledge of Krav Maga and kick their asses. I detected her with my cell, I knew her! He was my neighbour buddy from when I was in home-elementary-school, Mary. "Hey Joe, fml" those heavenly voices I'm hearing are hobos on crack singing near the train waiting to die. They're gonna be on the news tomorrow. "Hi Mary, need help?", "Umm, duh?". So I think of a way to get her into ambulance without getting caught because I was on proxy the whole time, but if I call the ambulance the proxy would turn off. Suddenly, there's a girl gun-toting at me at the back. I turned around and see Mary.
Those f-tards? They weren't humans, they were androids. "What is this Mary?" In confusion I demand the truth. "This has always been a part of the story Joe! We killed your real parents, so you can have a crackhead parents, that guard leaves you near the computer so you can hack it, intetionally!" Her maniacal laugh disturbs me.
"But why!? Effed up kids are always a better dictator... Look up Hitler!",
"Dictator for what? And I'm not so effed by the way you pathetic bitch."
"Dictator for the Kenobi Corp. you idiot! That's right your grandpa paid us all cause he's dying." She said it sarcastically.
Shit audience, I gotta tell you. That time when I told you I was running too fast and out of gas, it wasn't a car. It was my legs, I'm a half android. All my life, just now I know that I was a product for Kenobi Corp. John the half Kenobi-droid boy. Somebody knock my head unconscious from the back.
...."Help! I don't wanna be taken here!..."
Echoes in my head
Suddenly I wake up next to Mary who became an unpuzzled corpse. I vomit. It's just like that horror movie from the 2000s, Saw. And then my grandpa came with this device for electroshock therapy!!!
But then it was too late. You know what I would text to my mom and dad "ROFL guys, I'm gonna die" I'm now a full android as the old f pulling out the memory plug out of my bod---
"You will listen to what I say?"
"Will you be a dictator just like what I want you to be?"
The dawn of a new age shall begin...
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