strength to leave

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
i guess it is time to grow

Submitted: March 09, 2016

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Submitted: March 09, 2016

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“Get your hands off me”

 I screamed  as I rushed towards the bathroom with my husband swiftly in pursuit. I quickly shut the door behind me and locked it to prevent Matt from coming in.

“Diane open the goddamn door else I would make you pay”

“Open the door you piece of shit” He shouted as he frantically banged on the door.

I was in so much fear, my heart was racing out of my chest and with every pound to the door, it skipped  a beat. Tears rolling  down my  cheeks, I was covered in sweat, the pain I  should have felt  from the blow to my face face was overshadowed by the fear that Matt might break down the door and come get me. All i could do was pray for my safety as I stared into the mirror taken by my thoughts . I could no longer live like this .Just some days ago, I  was checked into the hospital because Matt had lost his temper during a conversation we were having .He went from zero to a thousand real quick and the only thing  i could recall was the feel of his fist on my  jaw and the taste of my own blood . I  woke up in the hospital with my  darling husband  Matt by my side,  a swollen face and eye. That was one of the many occasions an altercation had left me hospitalized and now this. My mother and friends all feared for my  safety but there was little anyone could do other than convince me to leave .I had always hoped that one day Matt would realize how much I loved him and changed but the more I hoped, the worse he became. I was all out of prayer, infact , I never thought a day would come that I could feel so much hate for the man I promised to love for the rest of my life . When I put everything in perspective, I guess the real reason I stayed this long was that I was just scared of leaving him, scared of adjusting to a new lifestyle other than the one I had become used to over the course of my 15years marriage. There was no doubt in my heart that Matt loved me but you cant love someone and make them feel this much pain at the same time .I loved my husband but it was time to make a decision for me and leave this marriage. I was so lost in thought that I didn’t realize he had stopped banging the door, however I was in no hurry to open up.

I slept in the bathroom that night and the next morning after he had left for work, I called the moving company, packed up all my stuff, dropped a letter with my ring  and left. I didn’t want to spend another day in that house before I changed my mind. I wasn’t sure about  my next move or where I would be in a month time but that uncertainty felt good to me. Only the thought of freedom brought smile to my face, I was done living my life in fear or for someonelse,this was my time and nothing could stop me.


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