ruff draft wanted to get it out
Private Angel ...
My first love, down a righteous path my travels motivated me to overcome any adversaries. Born in Kentucky, when in this day an time we had everything needed. Since youth I can remember seeing the good in all forms of life. My dreams were of a happy life. When I became an adult I was sure of success at least that's what I dreamed. I had a normal childhood in the beginning. Positive role models,healthy enviornment,and innocent thoughts. Well family changed those happy thoughts seen a different side to life. Still that positive soul ,I dreamed to always live rightous in the face of anything.
A long road I was going down yet always thinking of the right things in all I'd encounter.I'm a peaceful kind of soul and my actions are to. So school was in my little girl days and dysfunction at my home . I really never worried for things but I see now God provided my needs. Plus I always took any negative and turned it into a positive. Not haveing the normal drove me to want it more. I dreamed to be the opposite of that. I spent many years thinking about my goals. I'm responsible for myself no one can chose if I do or if I don't.
Determination, now thats why I'm o.k. Nothing can stop a dream from comeing true. I'd never let it go the more challenges I'd face the harder I'd try. Good and bad that's real we'd all say. I guss that is why I care for the good guy winning they always do ,plus if you're a good guy than you'll face that. I felt so many things over time. Sometimes I wanted to be the hero others just happy. All the adversities made me stronger though the hero in me didn't always understand. Yea the good guy always wins but first he must overcome the challenges.
I could see the good an bad in everything so my social life is unique! I always wanted real friends. I spent my time thinking about my goals. Society as a whole is good ,my teenage years I knew the differences, right from wrong. I decided to get a career in law. It was easy get my G.E.D. and enlist in the U.S. Army. That's what I did ,at eighteen then I waited for them to contact me. I was unaware when I enlisted they don't hire women for infantry. I'm sure I would have done things differently. I really like the I can attitude they have. I have that skill down! In this life your heart will take you there. I follow the good inside of me , since the good guy wins nothing can stand in the way. I thought those days were over with womans rights and discrimination. I've maintained jobs since legal age to work.
I was sure the nightmares would stop when I hit adulthood, I'd be free. More and more challenges came. Good thing I look at the positives but the negitives were very easy to spot. I held within myself alot of my challenges, it can be very confusing. Everyone is different and not alot of folks will take the time for your side. I wasn't going to waste time with that being happy has always been more important. It can be a real mess when your faceing bad and need a miracle.
I dreamed when I was young to grow up and be successful. I hoped for a loveing family and friends to share our lives together. A great career someday children. Oh, I wanted to be the best mother. Giveing my children a loveing poitive home. I was raised in an verbally,mentally,and emotionally abusive atmosphere. My plans were not to be like that. A lot of my life seeing the wrong taught me what not to do. Now that's a part of my story all things I've exerienced made me who I am. Mysterious works of God I call it. There's a purpose an for all great things are accomplished. My dreams never changed I held on and had faith. If were doing the right things in the end the rightous man shall prevail.
Well, I see half and half some good and some bad. I thank God for being good in all I do I want to be like him. He's gave me all my dreams come true! Thats why I call myself private angel,you know secret in disquise. I did learn you have to do it not just think it will all work. I put my part into this life. When I face a troublesome area that's when the hero kicks in. I feel good knowing it's all comeing along. I've learned that this kind of thing takes time. If you want a pizza it takes time to prepare it. Same thing with all goals we work on .
I still push threw all those adversities, man it's a lot. I guss if your makeing a pizza with the works it takes a lot of prep time. Whats the point of winning the war if you never fought it ,plus now my story is so much more powerful. It feels good at the end of the day when you finally accomplish your goals. I feel proud and I know that I've earned it. When you do good things then good things multiple. You reap what you sow!
I have an on growing relationship with God. He's my boss and everything else to. When I said" I want real friends" I meant the kinds you'd lay down your life for.My personality is a real friend an the more I grew so did my outlook on right and wrong. Right before I turned eighteen I put two and two togather. Good and bad are real we'd all say that. Then I thought same thing, Holy and evil. The more I looked at the whole picture the more it added up. In the bible it's wrote of the " wordly ways" . I've been doing some investigating and this is very confusing. I was born a U.S. citizen,well like I said" we have everything". Being raised in th 1980's, and my familys way of up bringing,I taught myself right from wrong. Now don't get me wrong my family isn't on my foe list but you are the company you keep. I know we could be so much morally.Of course you see this all the time on the Earth.
Good thing the Law is just and the good wins. It's always been that way . So I started to really focus on the facts. You can't argue those plus the truth comes out in the end. I'm sure theres great reason for my path in this life and I'm greatfull for it all. I guss a feeling came to me that God was really real. I always knew of religon I loved all good things this life has to offer. It just was more realistic to me. Things of God can only be good. Examples like in elementary school lack of knowledge from right and wrong can lead us into trouble. Some make out stuff to be the cool things like relationships between males and females.Then you grow older realize some of that was not cool at all.Then it's to late.I don't want to regret anything,our elders are the ones supose to bestow god values in us. Now I know we all have a job to do and our paths make us who we are. That's why i said" it can be confusing",and if we knew really knew it was wrong most wouldn't do it. Example the hot stove, If you know it's hot and that it can hurt you almost nobody would touch it.Same thing in a relationship between males and females.Other examples are stealing,and lies ,there is many other things.We all know right from wrong were taught this from birth as a whole and most chose to do right. It's the ones who yet to learn,like how serious a relationship is between males and females.Yes it is cool and also can be a wonderful feeling. There's just that right and wrong in anything really. So I took a deeper look into those things that are important. We can all say if you do wrong you'll get into trouble. Nobody likes to be in trouble , if you burn your hand it hurts.I realized that when I was younger I was innocent like a piece of clay molding in time as I went threw life to make me who I am. That's why it is so important to shape the right form.Even the little things like being respectful to others.The hero always kicks in it's defense. I love life all Gods creation but when faced with a challenge then I'm an Ark angel ready for battle.
Well we all have a different up and some already know this. It's those innocent ones mostly and the wordly ways confusion.If I were a mother and I didn't teach my children right from wrong how could I discipline them for that. As any parent that's a part of being a mother a vert big part in raising our children is teaching them. If somebody never was taught what no means than they wouldn't know. If we teach them the stoves hot they normally don't touch the thing. It's a cycle, a ripple effect. Adults even become eighteen and it's not there fault sometimes they are doing things wrong becuse there still innocent. Haveing the knowledge of right from wrong can be crucial.
When I put all my thoughts together about right from wrong then my mind really opened up. I won't except a less than life.When I face negitive things I overcome them becuse the truth has set me free.All wrong is punished and although we may face them ,the good guy always wins.Knowing I'm a winner got me this far. My dreams started becomeing realities although they came to me in Gods time and mysterious works,I enjoy life.There is so many marvelous things to do. I'm raiseing the bar and shall continue to open new doors of oppertunity.
I kept growing into a young woman,and still it was one thing after another.When it rains it pours. I was born with a hole to climb out of. I went threw several things that in reality just one of them would be devastating.I knew right from wrong since memory. Although I've faced things that to the majority are not lived by a good person.Iam a good preson and I have faced a lot of bad things that's why I keep going.A lot of things I've faced are embarrassing, and I could have felt suffering but I knew right from wrong. My stories kind of like Job in the Bible,he went threw everything.I said "Gods got a nothing to lose attitude", becuse I've faced all my worst nightmares. In the Bible it says ," If I am for you who can be aginst you". I don't really like to dwell on all the bad mostly I just like to focus on enjoying my life with others who I know are healthy role models.
Forgiveness is huge it works in manny ways. The hero in me want's justice but I already know I'm a winner so in due time I shall recive.I'm responsible for my actions so when I face challenges now I stop and thank what is the right way to handle them. That's another one of things ,I'm cool becuse if you mess with me I'll take care of you. Really two wrongs don't make a right ,mostly I kill it with kindness.You get what you deserve wheather you do right or wrong.
I remember all the plans I had growing up, and I also see how it feels to be a nobody. It dosen't change the good in me.I'll settle for a lower class lifestyle if that's all I had and be happy.Yea most people want a nice life all it has to offer. It's not what you have but who you are inside. All my dreams don't mean a thing if I give up. I see there can be a greater reason and a deeper purpose in my work. I love life in all shape,form,and fashion. I want to give to my best ability needs and share enjoyment together. One of my dreams of youth was to remain in college ans study several subjects. Increase my education in many areas of this life. Take advantage of all I can in this lifetime. I wasn't born alone into this life and I won't leave this Earth alone. I always say this an't a one man show bro. Family and friends mean so much now that I'm older I see how important these things can be. I still look to share this life together and enjoy all this life has to offer. Understanding now that's a lesson learned. Since everyones different we all have individual insights. I've learned to find positive reason,knowing this is a good way to see everything.
So since I know the differences of good and bad plus that the good wins. Well at eighteen when I put two an two together.That the good guy always wins and how my up bringing in the worlds confusing ways.I had feelingsof only looking at the good. I always had and was religous. Things just kept growing for me in a positive way. I'd thought to see the good in all! The hero still kicked in becuse I knew the good wins and the bad is punished. When I really started looking at things in a good way only ,seeing the good in any situation,I was on a strict road. Since I knew right I easily noticed the wrong. Boy good is good and my dreams really were joyful.
It seems to me thats when the real work started to kick in. I really didn't seem to notice it at first but my dreams had started to become realities.My life since memory has always been mixed with positives and negitives.I always could turn a negivtive into a positive.Now I only looked at the good and it seemed I couldn't get a break from turning bad into good. It was one thing after another,I was used to going threw this since youth,but it hit me hard to see at eighteen I was still ! I see now how much influence negativity has in the wordly ways confusion.
I've always been myself and not let other things change me. If they don't love you for you they'll never love ya. I kept myself doing the right things on different things I'd encounter. That hero was strong it would always kick in no matter the issue.Being an example , leading by example.Those things mattered and finding others who share a peaceful lifestyle,who just wanted to simply enjoy their life didn't come easy.Know matter if I were like an angel alone in the eternail lake of fire and brimstone I stiil looked the right thing in the face. A great honor to overcome any obstacle and they were great.
I put my focus on the right things and the wrong didn't seem so big any more.That I can attitude never left me. iheld on to that good guy wins knowing one day I'd reach my goals.All those things I seen that were bad were my teachers. When I looked all the bad turned into something good.
What a relif plus I had a stronger since of hope and I'd push myself even harder My intrest in what I'd say were love grew even more. I wanted to do great things. Put the right in all the wrong.All is a big word there I opened my doors of opportunity and posibilitys seemed endless. Right and wrong is a fact it's always going to be that way. Finding peace in war now thats something to earn. Sometimes the rainbow comes after the storm ,I want my gold! For a while I looked at makeing wrongs right later I sought the good only.Like other great leaders if you notice in history they all went threw some form of callenges. Examples The Wright Bros,Martin Luther King, and Jesus.I appreciate all those good things on my travels. All the negitives made me stronger. I let go of the wrong and the right will always be. No matter how bad anything is in th very end the good has won.
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