Rejection or self-construction?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is basically a short text where I put down my own thoughts about the fact of being rejected. It is a piece of free writing, and I just feel that this is a subject or area that most people can relate to.

Submitted: February 09, 2014

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Submitted: February 09, 2014



“Don’t ever change yourself for someone, if they don’t appreciate the way you are, find someone who will” is a saying that I´ve been thinking a lot about lately. Everyday is a battle for most people, either it is the battle to get up from bed in the morning, confront your dictatorial boss or just the battle of getting accepted by other people in your society, and last but not least: accepting yourself. Everyone has one day, one year or one time during their life where it is hard to accept yourself because you feel that people don’t accept you for who you are. You can choose to be accepted by everyone and please them all by being the person they want you to be, or please and accept yourself by being the person YOU want to be. The battle between the easy way where you simply adjust to everyone all the time, or the “hard way” of being yourself and doing exactly what you think is right. It is hard to know yourself and your values in a society that constantly compare people with each other and don’t value the beauty of diversity. People usually know what they like, what people they fit with and how to interact with those people, and that is kind of your “comfort zone”. People today are afraid of going out of that comfort zone and try to do something or talk to someone totally diverse from themself and what they usually do. Usually, typically, habitually and normally are words we want to use use everyday because that is safe for us and we have a certain idea what will happen. When did people start to become afraid of taking chances and talking to someone you USUALLY wouldn’t talk to, or do something SPECIAL for yourself or someone else? What is really the worst thing that could happen? I believe that the main word here is rejection, and everybody is so extremely afraid of it. I mean, how many times haven’t you just wanted to smile to a cute guy but your afraid that he will think that you want to marry him. Or, how many times have any of your girlfriends told you about that desperate guy that smile to her everyday in the hallway. Maybe the guy just want to make your day better with a smile, and doesn’t really put that much into it. Many of us are too self-centered and suspicious, so when someone is doing something nice to you it has to be because they want something from you (popularity, sex, money, a favor or maybe even a gum). But what if that person actually smiles to go to get himself or herself up, and it doesn’t really have that much to do with you as you thought? Every time you do a kind act to somebody you earn energy and kindness, no matter if they respond or reject you. So maybe the smile doesn’t really have anything to do with you at all, maybe he or she is just doing it for themselves? If you smile or say hi to somebody and they don’t respond back, you will most likely think that the person is better or maybe even has a bigger value than you. The person is definitely not better or has a greater value than you. The person puts himself or herself higher by rejecting you, and that is a great clarification of low self-esteem. The only way they can get a clear declaration that they are good enough is by putting other people under them, and they do that by rejection. So what happens when the person actually wants to interact with people and wants to tell a story that recently happened in his life? The person goes to his so called “comfort zone”, and uses it because he knows where they are on his or her scale.


Rejection is often used in a negative way, and people associate that word with humiliation and dishonor. Try to turn it around and look at rejection as a clear declaration on how low that person´s self-esteem is. Instead of feeling pity for yourself for being rejected, you should instead feel pity for the person rejecting you. When you have the intelligence and wisdom to do that, you´ll have the greatest power of them all, and you will value yourself more and become a stronger person. The best way to accept yourself is to accept others, and the best way to earn joy, happiness and confidence is to give it to others. 

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