My Secret Identity

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

This story is about a girl that attended private up until her parents divorce. She understood why her parents had to separate, but she didn't think it would drastically change her well in order life. This was including, going to public school for the first time.

The slamming of doors and loud whispers woke me out of my sleep for the third night in a row. Once again, my parents were arguing about something. I couldn't go back to sleep, so after everything got quiet, I crept out of my room to go use the restroom. When I was passing their room, I listened in on their whispered conversation. Tears rolled down my cheeks when I heard my father tell my mother that the divorce is almost final. Pain beat at my chest as I tried to picture my mother and father living in two different homes. My world was about to come crashing down on me and there was nothing I could do about it.

All through elementary, middle, and part of high school I attended private school. Nothing prepared me for what was to become of my well in order life when my parents divorce was final. Don't get me wrong, but after daily arguments and fights, I totally understood that it was time for them to separate. Really and truly, I didn't think it would change my living arrangements, but it did.

My mom and I went from living in a three bedroom home with a pool and straight into a two bedroom apartment. The apartment is very nice, but I am use to much more space. As for my father, he moved into a house similar to ours with his long time mistress. Of course, my mother don't know this and I wasn't about to tell her. For some strange reason my father trust me with all his secrets. At the age of fifteen, I don't find it appropriate. On top of that, I feel it's total disrespect to my mother.

Out of everything that drastically changed in my life in the last six months, attending a public school was my biggest and worst challenge. On my first day of school at Brimmer High my backpack was stripped completely off of my shoulder in the crowded hallway. With feelings as soft as cotton, I fought hard to hold back the tears that pooled my eyes. At that very moment I realized how bad it was for my parents to split.

I stuck my head halfway into my locker so that no one would see my tears falling. My lunch money, parents' wedding photo, and a picture of this boy that I had a crush on at my old school was in my backpack. Once the hall was almost clear I dried my eyes with the sleeve of my jacket and rushed to the girl's restroom at the end of the hall. When I stepped in there, nothing could prepare me for what my virgin eyes captured. There were girls and guys leaning against the walls, sitting on the counter tops, making out in the stalls, smoking cigarettes, and a boy asleep in one stall with his backpack holding up his head.
 Before I could turn around and leave, one of the guys hopped off the counter top and approached me. The cigarette smell on his breathe turned my stomach upside down. When I looked down at his feet, I realized that he had on blue house slippers. Once again, the memory of my parents divorce brought tears to my eyes. Instead of feeling ashamed I felt anger as tears raced down my face and rested under my chin.
"What a pretty girl like you crying for?" the boy asked.
"None of your business!" I yelled in his face.
"So you are a hardball?" he asked with a sly smile.
"I'm leaving now." I said and everyone bust out laughing.
"You're not going anywhere pretty girl." he threatened me.
 I turned around and headed for the door, but the boy jumped in front of me and pointed a knife at my face. The look in his eyes told me that he wasn't playing. Standing as still as I could, I stared into his eyes. He slid his long and muscular arm around my neck and gently turned me around. Everyone was quiet and watching us as if they were watching their favorite movie.
"Here's the deal pretty girl. You have to smoke a cigarette and take three sips of wine before you can leave the restroom." He said.
"I'm not doing that." I said.
"Well I guess you will be spending the day in here with us." He threatened.
 When I tried to push past the boy to leave the restroom, he kept blocking me. I was about to scream for help, but he pointed the pocket knife at me again. The look that he gave me assured me that he would use it. At that moment, I just wanted to get out of the restroom. Feel like my worst nightmare was coming through. There was only way out of this situation and that was to join the crew. Moments later, I walked out of the restroom with my new identity and my book bag back on my shoulder.
 

I was almost twenty minutes late for my first class. The stares of my new classmates and the alcohol in my stomach made me want to puke. Even my new teacher had this funny look on her face as I stood there in shock. My throat burn from the smoke of my first cigarette and my head was spinning from my first sips of alcohol. The guilt that I was feeling was enough to convict me for a life sentence.
"What is your name?" The teacher asked and snapped me out of my trance.
"Casey Stewart." I said.
"Why are you late for class young lady?"
"I was in the restroom, I wasn't feeling good." I said, hoping she would believe me.
"Do I need to send you to the office." she asked.
"No ma'am, I feel much better now." I said.
""Your desk is the one towards the back of the room in the fifth row." she said.
 As I walk to the back of the classroom, I heard several kids giggle. At this moment I didn't want to be in this class or on the face of this earth.
 

After only ten minutes in homeroom, the sound of the bell was like music to my ears. I was almost out of the classroom door when the teacher called my name. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Danny passing by in the hallway. He's the boy that held me hostage in the restroom. Quickly, I turned around and walked swiftly to the teacher's desk.

“Everyone had the opportunity to introduce themselves, now it's your turn.” she said.
“My  name is Casey Stewart.” I said as if she didn't already know.
“Is this your first year here?” she asked.
“Yes and it's also my first year in public school.” I said with a frown.
“It isn't so bad.” she said, but I didn't agree.
“Can I go now?” I asked, not wanting to talk anymore.
“Yes and be on time for class tomorrow.” she said with a warm smile.
Yes ma'am.” I said and walked hastily of the class and into the empty hallway.
After first period, the rest of the day wasn't so bad, but I couldn't get this morning out of my head.
 

 The rays from the sun added a little warmth on this chilly November day as I walked the few blocks to my apartment. Others that were walking home had friends tagging along. At this time, my friends at my old school would be hanging out at the local library. I miss everyone so much that I would give anything to get my old life back. My parents have ruined everything for me.
 Without warning, my tears raced down my face and dissolved into my white uniform shirt. The pain surfing through my heart caused my stomach to hurt and I wrapped my arms around my mid-section. My lips trembled as if I was freezing cold, but it wasn't that cold. In my mind, I was counting every block of the sidewalk as I exited one and entered  another. When it came to block 36, I froze. My eyes started down from the blue house slippers, up to the khaki uniform pants, followed by the white uniform shirt, and stopped to stare dead into the evil eyes of Danny. My aching heart pumped extra hard to get blood through its arteries as fear set in. My book bag felt ten times heavier on my back and I humped my shoulder to try to lighten the load. Without my control, my fists balled up at my sides. There was no way I was going to be forced to do anything else without a fight.

I stared eye to eye with him without blinking. His sly smile intimidated me, but I didn't show it. Within seconds, his long and muscular arm was around my shoulder once again. Quickly, I removed it and walked fast as I could down the sidewalk. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my body.

“Hold up a second Casey!” He yelled behind me.

“Just leave me alone!” I yelled back at him without turning around.

“I'll see you tonight.” He said.

“No you won't!” I spun around and said, but he was gone.

My mom wasn't home when I arrived. There was a box of pizza on the stove-top for my dinner, chocolate cake on the kitchen table for dessert, a full picture of fruit juice in the fridge, and all sorts of snacks in the cabinet. I noticed that she was trying to make me comfortable, but I don't think that will ever happen. This new life that her and my father forced on me isn't fun at all.

After I pigged out, I flopped down on the sky blue overstuffed couch in the living room and turned on the television. As usual, Tom was chasing Jerry and causing a complete mess in the fat lady's house. It was funny how they only showed the bottom potion of her body and a broom that she always used to beat Tom with. While flipping through the channels to find something more interesting, I ran across a movie about a girl who lost both her parents in a car accident. The saddest part was that she had to move into a new home with complete strangers. I felt sorry for her, but not as much as I felt sorry for myself.

“How was your first day of school honey?” My mom asked and scared the devil out of me.

“I hated it and I didn't hear you come in.” I said.

“That's because you was all into that movie.” She said.

I guess so.” I said.

“Did something happen at school?” she asked.

“No mom, I just want my old life back.” I said and hopped off the couch and went to my room.

I didn't mean to lie to her, but there was no way I was about to admit to smoking and drinking. Usually, she would follow me to my room and try to cheer me up, but this time she didn't. Maybe she has finally realized the unhappiness she and my father caused me.

The ceiling fan spun around in slow motion as I lay on my back looking up at it. It's dark brown blades reminded me of helicopter propellers. My bed felt uncomfortable in its new room as I turned on my side. The life-size pink teddy bear that my daddy bought for my birthday last year did nothing to comfort me. Tears ran down my face and onto her soft and cuddly arm. Her large and black plastic eyes stared into mine. The smile plastered across her face did nothing to cheer me up. I wrapped my arm tightly around my bear's neck hoping it would ease the pain in my heart. If she was a living thing, I would have squeezed the life out of her.

A tap on my bedroom window woke me out of my sleep. The red digital numbers on my clock radio read 9:00p.m. Still half asleep, I closed my eyes back thinking that I was dreaming. When the second tap came, it was a little louder. This time I saw a shadowy figure standing in the middle of my window, but on the outside. Another shadow joined that one and my heart starting beating out of control. I didn't know rather to creep out of my room to notify my mom or continue to lay there hoping they would go away. “Casey.” I heard a familiar voice whisper and I bolted upright in my bed. How in the world did he know where I live and what apartment I lived in? Why did my mom chose a downstairs apartment? I wondered.

I ignored him for about fifteen minutes before I realized that he wasn't going to leave. As I dragged myself out of bed, I quietly tip-toed to my window and pulled back the curtains. Danny and one of the girls I recognized from the bathroom earlier, was leaning against the building smoking a cigarette.

“Are you coming out to play Casey?” he asked.

“No and go away!” I whispered loud as I could.

“That's not going to happen, so you may as well come join us.” the girl said.

“Why can't you all just leave me alone?” I asked.

“You're part of the crew now, remember?” Danny said.

“I'm not apart of any crew and I never will be, now get away from my window!” I said.

“Well I'm about to knock on your front door and ask your mom can you come drink and smoke with us again.” he threatened.

“No you're not! Now leave before I go wake up my mom and get her to call the cops!” I threatened back and pulled the curtains shut.

After fives minutes of waiting by the window Danny and his accomplice walked off. To be sure they were gone, I waited another fifteen minutes before I turned on my lamp, grabbed some night clothes out the drawer, and headed to the bathroom to take a bath.

Today I tried something new to avoid running into Danny and his crew. I left out early enough to walk with a group of kids that eat their breakfast at school. They were nowhere to be seen and I was glad. When I reached the front steps of the school, I looked down the street and saw Danny and his crew now standing on the corner. My plan had worked and I was relieved; at least for now. The bell wasn't going to ring for another thirty minutes, so I went to the cafeteria. I had already eaten at home, but I still bought a milk and a juice.

When the bell rang signaling the end of breakfast, I didn't go to my locker. Instead, I went to sit in homeroom to avoid running into Danny. The teacher looked surprised to see me this early as she watched me walk to my desk. I didn't feel like talking, but I knew the questions were coming. She's a sweet lady, but she's very nosy. Just as I started to put my head down, the first questions popped out of her mouth.

“Why are you in class so early Casey?” she asked.
“I didn't want to be late again.” I said.
“Usually, I don't let anyone in class until the bell rings, but you're okay for today.” she said with a smile.
“Thanks.” I said and put my book bag on top of my desk and laid my head on top of it.
“How are you feeling today?” she asked.
“I'm feeling fine.” I said, hoping she wouldn't ask another question.
“Anytime you have a problem, you can come talk to me.” she said.
“Thank you.” I said, but kept my head down.
 The bell rang and woke me out of my sleep. Although I had dozed off for only fifteen minutes, I felt well rested. While people rushed to their seats, I kept my head down on my book bag. I really didn't feel like being here and it was making me depressed. My mom thinks that I have to get use to my new surroundings, but if she knew what happened yesterday morning it would break her heart. As for my dad, I haven't heard from him in over two months. I tried calling him several times, but got no answer. Maybe his new wife doesn't want him talking to my mom and me. I miss him so much, but I'm afraid that he don't feel the same about me.
 My teacher, Mrs. Connie is doing a lot of talking and it's giving me a headache. Everything is spinning out of control in my head and I'm starting to feel crazy. My parents' divorce, my new identity, my old friends, my old school, wine, cigarettes, my daddy's new family and everything seems to be driving me in sane. Six months ago I was the happiest girl in the whole world, now I feel like the saddest girl.
“Mrs. Connie can I go to the restroom please?” I asked her.
“I'm giving you five minutes.” she said.
“Okay.” I said and rushed out of the classroom.
 When I walked into the girl's bathroom this time, Danny and the crew wasn't in there. I was wondering where they could be because I was destined to join them. I don't feel like a normal person anymore and they are the perfect crew to hang out with. Really and truly, I just don't care anymore. There's no way I'm going to get my old life back now that my daddy is married to someone else. Sooner or later, my mom will move on with her life too and I will not be the center of attention anymore. I am so heart-broken by everything that has happened. My parents should have talked to me about their decision to get a divorce. I guess they didn't care about how I would feel about it or that it would ruin my whole life.
 

 I checked every girl's restroom in the school, but still couldn't find Danny. It wasn't in my plans to go back to class, so I didn't. Instead, I waited in the restroom for the bell to ring hoping Danny and the crew would show up. To my surprise, only people I didn't recognize came to use the restroom. As disappointment sat in, my eyes began to fill with tears. When the next person walked in, my face lit up. It was the girl that came to my house with Danny.
“Where is Danny?” I asked her.
“Why would you be looking for him?” she asked me.
“I'm apart of the crew remember?” I said to her.
“Last time I checked, you threatened that you would get your mom to call the cops.” she said.
“I was out of my mind last night.” I said, desperately wanting to fit in.
“Okay, follow me.” she said.
I know that I was heading for trouble, but everything in my life was already a mess.
 

 Danny and the crew was hanging out in the gym's restroom today. When he saw me walk in with Samantha, he gave me this funny look. I was no longer scared of him, so I gave him the same exact look. Today he didn't have on the blue house slippers and he was sporting a new haircut. His uniform pants and shirt was ironed to perfection. For the first time in two days, I realized how beautiful his aqua blue eyes are. His cold, black hair was lined up very neat and his teeth was snow white when he smiled. The outlaw that I met yesterday seemed to tugged hard at my heart today.
 


Submitted: August 30, 2013

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