Here In The Dark

Reads: 411  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 12

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

I wanted to write a quick poem since I was flattered by Booksie people :D

She sat here beside me

And covered my eyes

She whispered for me to play along

Smoke curled out of her mouth

And fire danced in her eyes

As her heart beat faster to the song.

Her pupils grew wider

Her smile drew crooked

She asked me to dance on the floor

As she sang in a whisper

Her laugh echoing through her

She couldn't want anything more.


Submitted: December 15, 2009

© Copyright 2021 miss woodstock. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Mistress of Word Play

Great job on the poem. I just fell in love with it. Excellent structure and the words were grand. Loved it. Susan :)

Tue, December 15th, 2009 3:42am

Author
Reply

I'm so flattered, thank you! :D

Tue, December 15th, 2009 12:23pm

fairiegirl

Awwh i LOVED this poem soo much!! :) It was so great and your so talented! xxxxxxxx

Tue, December 15th, 2009 10:03pm

Author
Reply

You're making me blush :D Thank you so much!

Tue, December 15th, 2009 6:56pm

Lizo

Ouuuu I like it! It's amazing how you give enough details for the reader to imagine, yet leave enough out for the reader to want more! xP

Wed, December 16th, 2009 12:40pm

Author
Reply

XD You made my day. I didn't know I could write like that. Thank you!

Wed, December 16th, 2009 7:01pm

DreamKeeper

Very very well writen though I didn't understand at first

Wed, December 16th, 2009 4:47pm

Author
Reply

I don't believe I did either. But as it flowered into drugs, what a depressing topic, eh?

Wed, December 16th, 2009 7:00pm

Broadway Fairy

Wow! this was really good. I wish I could write poetry this good, lol. Anyway, great job! I gave it an "I like" vote.:D

Thu, December 17th, 2009 1:21am

Author
Reply

I'm so flattered ^_^ Thank you!

Wed, December 16th, 2009 6:58pm

KettleMcCrayInfinity

i like this alot ^^
gonna vote ^^

Thu, December 17th, 2009 1:42am

Author
Reply

Thanks so much for the vote :D

Wed, December 16th, 2009 6:58pm

Jesyka

Great poem.
Very unique!!!
XD

Fri, December 18th, 2009 3:39pm

Author
Reply

Thank you! :D :D

Fri, December 18th, 2009 12:57pm

CrimsonWriter

very, very good. all of your poems are great. i'd love for you to check out another story of mine, if you have the time. and keep me updated on new poems!

Mon, March 22nd, 2010 7:26pm

Author
Reply

I certainly will do both!

Mon, March 22nd, 2010 1:25pm

Wingsword

Wow, this was very well-written! :D
I loved the rhyming scheme and the hidden theme that seems to be so glaringly obvious (lol, scheme and theme rhyme. XD sorry, random...)
This is a great poem!
If you happen to have the time, I'd be honored if you could drop by my page and check out my poems/novel as well. Thanks!

Tue, March 23rd, 2010 4:14am

Author
Reply

XD Not random at all, I love it. I'll gladly stop by. Thanks so much for reading!

Wed, March 24th, 2010 8:12pm

thegirlwhofallsdownalot

i don't really understand the last line, do you mean shes fully contented? this was a good poem.

Tue, March 23rd, 2010 10:23am

Author
Reply

Not contended, but where she wants to be. She wanted to be there, high out of her mind. It was her decision. If that makes sense? ^^ Thanks!

Wed, March 24th, 2010 8:13pm

thematt24

Great one miss, I love the flow

Thu, April 8th, 2010 3:23pm

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