The boy I once met.

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: April 07, 2016

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Submitted: April 07, 2016

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I met a boy once. He ran after me and started talking to me. He had wild hair and dark eyebrows and I told him a lot of weird stuff. But we became friends. The first time I kissed him on a hot summer afternoon with a bottle of Vanilla Vodka to spin, I felt something I never felt before. But I didn't know what it was. I went in denial and I even gave him advice on how to get with my best friend. I tried to convince her that she liked him, but she didnt. I wanted to be her so badly. Thats when I realized I liked that boy. But I didn't want to. With bad reputation and liking my best friend he was out of reach. But I still wanted him. The first night we spent together, just holding each other he was so close and the words he said I will never forget: "You are making it so hard for me not to kiss you right now." Of course I would later realize he was just manipulating me, using me. But in this moment I thought he might actually like me too. So I let myself convince and kissed him. We went further too but nothing happened. About a week later, not attached to the boy enough and under pressure of society I lost my virginity to a guy with a girlfriend. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to. I went in denial again. And I told the boy I met about 3 months ago I wanted to loose my virginity with him. And in a night with wild emotions, red wine and pouring rain it happened. In the following weeks I let myself down. I am ashamed of what happened, but due to my persistency we ended up going out. We actually did. For three days. Before he broke the relationship and my heart. Two weeks and after I tried to drink and kiss away my feelings with other boys, we met halfway. We talked. He kissed me. And we were friends. We liked each other. We slept with each other. But we were not going out. And he was fucking with others. I was getting with others. It was a mess and some truly chaotic months. After some time we talked, we became more serious and he started feeling something that he described as "family-love" to me. I couldn't deal with it, thought I am not worth it, not good enough for him and we stopped. Then out of sudden he got hit by a car. He had a serious car accident and went in the hospital. We talked, I cared for him, I came to see him so many times. He confessed his love to me multpiple times after that. Until one day, kissing in the hospital bed he asked if I wanted to go out with him. I was overwhelmed, I wasnt sure, but I snuggled in his arms and felt home. I knew I wanted to. I love him. But I couldn't trust him, I learned. I have closed my heart and accepted him with other girls. I really wasn't sure and I told him that. We talked, we discussed it. He came out of the hospital and we had sex. And he had sex with others. And it hurt. But I was prepared, I knew he was like that. But then one day we decided. "Should we just try it?", "Try be a couple?". And we did. And it was wonderful. The feeling I got when I first kissed him, it grew and grew and we fell deeper and deeper in love. Of course we fought, what couple doesnt? But we always made up and kissed and we loved. Until one day, after 5 months out of nowhere as it was for me he said he needed a break. He loved too much. He needed space. He was only 17. To be only friends would be better. And my heart broke another time. I am trying to find the fault in me and I am hoping to get him back. But I know its never going to be the same. It will be hard to trust him. It's been a week since I haven't seen him and I start to believe him that maybe being only friends is better for both of us. But I know it will hurt. I love him. I love him with all my heart and when being only friends is the only connection I can have with him, I will take it. I can't and don't want to loose this amazing boy I met once.


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