Unjust Fairness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

An emotional occurrence.

It does not matter how fair or unfair something is, or how it is done, it can still hurt like you were hit with a giant stone fist. There is no such thing as being fair, although we like to think so. The only “justice” we do is causing others pain. It is the only justice we know. This particular event was no different, no matter how many times I said to myself it was fair pain. It really didn’t matter what it was, the tearing in my chest and stomach was still the same. The only reason I Had lasted long enough to make it out of the house without tears bleeding was a pair of sunglasses and a fake smile.

The emotional wave hit September 26th of 2010. It wasn’t slow and didn’t build with time like most things, it hit like a tornado. It felt like someone was literately squeezing my heart like it was a stress ball and probing it with a needle. But I didn’t care about the physical effects, instead tears came from me as if my nearest and dearest died and I fell to the floor in a curled up ball. Sometimes I would bang my head against the floor, trying to get rid of the pain felt in my mental heart.

What caused such a strong reaction in me? Everyone in my family was alive, my friends were OK and none of my pets died. I wasn’t being sent away and I had no boyfriend to cheat on me. So, what was it? It was knowing the man I loved with all my heart, who told me he loved me back, betrayed- violated our love by snuggling (and not only liking it but wanting to do it again) with a friend who he has known longer than me. To me, even if we were not together, it was an emotional betrayal. So, why did I think the pain I felt because of his actions were fair? The short story is that seven months ago I did something similar, but it wasn’t emotional it was sexual.

The day after the emotional wave hit is the day I literately ran from my house to the woods not far from my neighborhood.


Submitted: July 28, 2011

© Copyright 2021 MissTeagan. All rights reserved.

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Comments

dahl2012

This is powerful and very good. I'm so sorry that it's true, but you seen strong and I'm glad you're expressing your pain in a positive way...Writing and telling other your story because you never know of aeone is going through something and feeling the exact same pain...

Thu, July 28th, 2011 8:50am

Author
Reply

Thank you. I love writing and writing helps me release emotions and anything I might have been holding in.

Thu, July 28th, 2011 8:46am

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