Suicide, or Life and Death

Reads: 382  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 4

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
I've heard a lot of people say that they want to kill themselves or that they will eventually off themselves. I've been there too. These are my thoughts on how the want for death is not a real desire.

Submitted: July 05, 2015

A A A | A A A

Submitted: July 05, 2015

A A A

A A A


sylvia.jpg

I don't know how to include religion and various types of people in this, but I'll just express my point of view.

I believe there's a scientific explanation for the things our mind can comprehend, so that is all there is. The natural world, the space that we observe, atoms and molecules. Living creatures and the legacy of dead people. After reading Hamlet, my Shakespeare teacher got into his pondering existence and mankind, and he brought up existentialism. I don't believe in essence, more than the essence of what your life and personality and mind has brought you to be, sometimes pictured as a vibrant spiritual essence, like a molecular heat bubble around you, invoked by imagination. I don't believe in spirits or souls. I could be swayed at a ghost encounter, but so far I only believe in ghosts when I'm high and get all freaked out. I don't think there's a soul physically entrapped inside me somewhere. That is a bit stupid, I think.

So I stopped being suicidal when I came to that conclusion. If science can explain what we can comprehend, there's nothing bigger than this. Like, don't even reach your brain-hands in that direction—you're not gonna get anywhere. Yeah, you can research and come to different conclusions, but I don't take word of mouth as reliable information. That's why I don't consider religions to be legitimate. I'm not super smart, so I'm thinking life is pretty simple in all its glory. Even someone who's not smart might "get it" more than religious nuts.

So Hamlet believes in comedy. Let be. And that's me right now, saying 'Live life.' Being depressed sucks, but nothing matters. None of this matters, besides to help your precedents after you're dead. And for the moment, do things for yourself. Make your life the way you want it to be, because you can. That means you probably shouldn't take PCP and lay in the middle of the street naked, but fuck it—life is what you make of it.

So when I felt self-hatred in the less far away past, I felt like running my car off a cliff, but I didn't because of this fact: The will for suicide is nothing but a conscious human will. If you're dead, you have no will. Your essence isn't going to go on in peace, or floating in space among the stars, doing loops with the person's other essence who you love. Your body would be lifeless, turn to ash, but what peace do you get out of that? You are your mind. It's not possible to reach gratification when you don't exist anymore other than in words and ash mixed with dirt. And no matter how hard you wish, you can't become words. Without feeling—just plain text on a page, or thoughts in another mind. Might as well become a poet on heroin.

I think it's selfish to leave your legacy a figurative chunk in someone who loves you that makes their heart sink. Or makes them too weak to live on. Die of heartbreak. I think suicide is based on not only the conscious human will but the reactions in your fellow people. That will that I think has occurred in all of us to see what it's like at your own funeral. If you want to know how much people care, then live on. When they're crying in the emergency room because they're not sure what's wrong with you, but it could be fatal, that means you're loved. Many people would deny that love is genuinely all they want, but as it turns out, love and affection is the thing they want most in the world! You don't have to deny it till your throat is sore—accept it!

If there's any basic action you feel like doing, that means you should live. I mean, even your body wants to live when you shift position because you're laying there depressed about something or whatever, and that's the robot you're operating. Helping it out is the cool thing to do!

I think everyone admires strength. If you're feeling like ceasing to exist, you probably feel weak, right? And pity yourself more. So the least you could do in the opposite direction is not sever your lifeline.

I don't know what to say on the "I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks--I just want to die" thing. I think it's not true that anyone could truly want to die because death is not a physical feeling. If they want to feel nothing, they probably want some drugs. Yeah, I can get in the direction of nothingness is blankness—black space. But to want that is impossible. Try smoking salvia. You'll probably get caught in a black hole for a few hours and never want it again. Or how about DMT—the chemical that releases in your brain when you die? Apparently some old guy on YouTube says it's an experience that everyone should have. Maybe it will save some lives on suicide watch. I personally don't want to mess with death and don't really have the urge to try it. But some people who attempt suicide do want to try it. And that in itself is a will to live. Isn't it ironic?

Or to die would be to feel pain, and that's where some cutters are understandable. And then they probably need a strait jacket when they never stop cutting. I really don't get suicidal people. I think they don't get it. The will to do anything is a will to live. I don't see why you have to be so self-loathing. It's unfair to you that you were probably born predisposed to feeling depressed. That's where I support some mental health methods. Getting help isn't always an insult to your intelligence.


© Copyright 2019 mixtape02. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply