A Day At The Shop

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic
Customer Service with a smile

Submitted: January 08, 2009

A A A | A A A

Submitted: January 08, 2009



"This sin is not helping me at all!" the young man screamed at me as he walked into my shop. His handsomely chiseled face adorned with wildly sexy black curls looked like a cartoon caricature in his hysterical state. "Did you hear me? This sin is not working, and I want a refund."

"Calm down. What seems to be the problem?" I reluctantly looked up from the novel I was reading. Newbies always have problems, and there is nothing I can do about it.

"I bought this sin to help me collect souls. I have a quota I have to meet, or... well I don't want to think about what will happen if I don't, and I bought pride cause you recommended it, and I can't get it to work." The customer was breathing deep ragged breaths after his outpouring. I just gave him my usual blank bored stare over my glasses.

"And?" I asked.

"And nothing! You need to do something! My deadline is almost here. What am I going to do? You need to help me." The gentleman started to pace the floor in front of my counter as he ran his fingers frantically through his hair.

With a deep sigh I answered him. "First of all, there are no exchanges, or refunds given. Second of all, it is not the responsibility of me, or the store, to teach you how to use your purchase. Third, I don't care about your deadline." The customer stopped pacing, and with a horrified look on his face tried to look intimidating in front of my desk. Before he could utter anything, I put my hand up to stop him. "Dude, don't even start, or I will reduce you to a pile of ash right here."

We eyeballed each other for a minute, and his face transformed from menacing to terror. "What the Hell am I going to do? Why did you recommend this sin?"

"Pride is one of the strongest sins you can control. It allows the demon using it to collect an obnoxious amount of souls in a short period of time. Quality souls, I might add. That is what I told you. Now if you are such a low class of demon that you cannot use it to your advantage, that is not my fault or problem. If you want to purchase something else, feel free to browse, but if you are just going to bellow at me, get the fuck out."

He placed his arms on my counter, fiddling with a small orb between his fingers and pleaded with me in a soft whisper of a voice. "Please, please, I am begging. Help me out here. Give me lust. Let me exchange pride for lust. I know I can work with that one. Give me envy. Hell, give me gluttony." His voice was really starting to get that whiny tone to it. I hate it when customers get like this.

"Look, wussbag," I answered as I pointed around the shop. "Do you see those signs?" His face nodded yes. " It says in every place possible, NO REFUNDS. NO EXCHANGES. GOOD LUCK BUT THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES. Do you understand what that means?" Again he shook his head yes, and started sobbing. "I am sorry you are in a bind, but I can't help you. I might be able to sell you a manual to help, but that is going to cost you at least one power. Have you got any powers?"

"No, nothing I can give up. Just the basics. This was supposed to be my chance to move up, to get a cool assignment, and earn some kick ass powers. You know, get a little recognition and respect with the higher demons. Now all I am going to get is roasted."

"If you're lucky," I muttered. I am pretty sure he didn't hear me.

Another customer came into the shop just then. A doughy lump of a man with small wire glasses, and a bookish look about him walked right up to the desk.

"Hey, George, how's it going?' I greeted the man with the biggest possible smile. George was not only a high-ranking demon, but a very good regular customer.

"Hey, what about me?" the handsome dissatisfied customer interjected. "I was here first."

"Look, I can't help you. Now for the last time, buy something or get out." Now I was grinding my teeth as I spoke. I was not going to let this newbie upset or cause a scene in front of one of my best customers. I changed my eye color to red, and let my fangs show. The look on his face told me it had the desired effect.

"I'm going. I'm going." Under different circumstances I may have shown that handsome thing a good time, but instead I watched him skulk out of my shop.

"Having a bit of trouble, Chelle?" George asked me.

"Nothing I can't handle. So you must be here to pick up your special order? I'll go fetch it." I walked through the curtained door behind me. "How is your army coming along?" I yelled from the backroom.

"Oh, splendidly. It is amazing how many you can corrupt while teaching high school. Humans are at such a perfectly easy-to-influence age in their teens."

I came back through the curtain holding a large red-velvet box. George smiled and allowed his human disguise to slip a little in his excitement. I knew he had been waiting a long time for this particular shipment. Opening the box I allowed him to look inside. His anticipation and excitement filled me too.

"Sorry it took so long to get your package," I told George. "Hope it was worth the wait." His eyes assured me it was. Handing him the box, I announced, "Here are the tools to destroy heaven."

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