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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
The pondering of a days events

Submitted: March 31, 2016

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Submitted: March 31, 2016



The wind picked up pretty quickly bythe time the afternoon sun was starting to sink into evening. I had just walked out of a class about rape agression defense. I had shown up to the class expecting just to sit in and listen. I ended up being called to answer some what would you do questions. I had no right to answer those, but I did what I could. 

I looked down at my phone and called the one person who usually made me feel better if not about myself, about life in general. 

"Hello?" the deep masculine voice on the end of the line was a wonderful sound. It had been a few days since we had last spoke and I missed him.

"Hi," I breathed "How are you?" 

"Good, just got to the hotel for the night and now M------- and myself are out at the pub for a few. Did you hear that S---- might have bought a house?" 

"No, I will just check my email now, good news if she did!" I scanned through my phone and found an email. "Found it, sounds like a nice place." 

The conversation went on like that for a few moments, just every day chit chat about things that did not really matter. 

It had been about ten minutes when he stopped me in mid blather about a book I had been reading.

"Hey, I really should go back in. I abandonded M----- and I feel bad about leaving him with his 1/2 a beer. I will ring you back in 15."

"O. Okay, sure, yea, go.. talk to you soon, bye."

"Bye" and with that final word his voice was gone.

To be fair, I had been feeling quiet miserable about life all week and taking out that misery on others, so when the phone went silent I was fuming. It was as if a jealous mean monster had taken over inside of me. I just could not understand why M----- who was back from a work trip and now the new room mate, needed such attention. Was he not capable of finishing a beer alone? All week long it was as if our messaging and calls had become second best to M----. I was hurt. I lived across the Atlantic ocean, I hadn't seen him in 3 months, and suddenly now that M---- was back from his work he was center stage. 

I have never shared well. Being an only child, you generally do not have to. In fact, I was very comfortable being the center of attention, always. I understood that others needed their turn in the limelight, but it would always revert back to me. I guess that this situation now with M---- was bringing out the worst in me. 

I never recieved a call back and became a irate. I sent a message asking how the beer was. He responded in a timely manner and said he had in fact tried to call but it had not gone through. I was still annoyed. He asked what my work schedule was for the next day. I told him. It had not changed in the last 3 weeks, but he seemed shocked to hear about it. I grew more irritated. 

Every relationship has its complications. None are perfect. Ours by far was not an ideal situation. I was starting to become depressed over it, and that depression was leaking over into my every day life. 

6 more months. Thats how much longer I needed to last before we could finally be together. 6 more months and we would see if were truly compatable or if this whole thing was a giant waste of time. 

I prayed and hoped that the 6 months would fly by and I would find it with in myself not to become an irritable hag. 

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