10:57pm

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Diary input from 22/5/2013.

Submitted: December 09, 2013

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Submitted: December 09, 2013

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10:57 pm, on a Wednesday night, the only thought occupying my mind for hours now is "Why aren't your hands around me?" I'm feeling naked and alone without them hugging me, without your breath near me soothing the storm in my chest. These sheets are so cold and uninviting when you are alone, when you are incomplete.

And you? You don't care, you live for yourself and don't even think about us. If anyone ever asked you you would say there is no us. And don't mind me wondering how many more months must it pass, what else must I sacrifice so that you could start excepting the idea of us? Well, maybe you are justwiser than me, maybe you know that we could never last, so you don't want to start something that has a deadline. 

Yeah, unlike stupid, foolish me that knowing all that got attached. I don't know why, I guess that you awoke that autodestructive tendencies that I carry inside. It was ether you or all the cheap wine and cigarettes we shared, I think it was the combination. Are you aware of that fact that the clock is ticking, we have merely two more months together (if this even is together, what we are). 

Goddamn it, this is such a stereotypical situation in every teen drama, in two months you'll leave for the seaside on holidays and I'll stay here, in the city. The second you leave everything is over, and I understand, it's ok. You'll leave and forget all about me, I'll become just a faint memory, a ghost in the corner of your mind. 

Knowing all that, how can you judge me, how can anyone judge me for now at 10:57 pm, on a Wednesday night, the only thought occupying my mind for hours now is "Why aren't your hands around me?""

 


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