BEATNIK POETRY NIGHT

Reads: 440 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 4

Short Story by: moonphish

Like
Shelfit

More Details

Status: Finished | Genre: Humor | House: Booksie Classic

Add to Read List

beats me

Submitted: March 12, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 12, 2012

A A A

dig

it was beatnik poetry night down at the espresso messo

a run down but hip joint on the corner of 13th and pelvis

there were more goatees there than a petting zoo

first prize would be a rare stradivarius ukelele

the competition began

first up was a woman named amelia dollarz

thin with spectacles and a plumed hat

she announced she was going to show the crowd a slide show

and then presented photos of playground equipment

their confused stares caused her to burst into tears

i don't mean she started crying

she burst into the tears

the stage was mopped up and the contest continued

next up was a greek fellow by the name of telly kneisses

he had a braided beard and looked fierce

his poem was about a snake who wondered what his rattle would taste like

soon he had a rattle in his throat....telly, that is

eventually the snake ate himself

telly compared this to global warming

the response was luke warm

they decided to raffle off amelia's hat

next up was bill tupp

he wore a boy scout's uniform and scuba fins

his work was about adolph hitler

he compared him to a silly goose

and his followers to goslings

he had also supplied a short film

soldiers marching to a raucous zydeco beat

this got the crowd chuckling

so far the front runner

next up was howie dewen

he looked like he had gotten his clothing from a dumpster

he named all the geometric shapes in alphabetical order

except a square

guess you had to be there

next up was a woman named gladys sunday

her poem was about how every one was really a zero

she urged the crowd to smoke and blow smoke rings for ambiance

a few people snapped their fingers

sounded like crickets at a convalescent hospital

next up was a fellow who refused to give his name

he recited kilmer's famous line about a tree

but each time he would replace tree with a rhyming word

knee

flea

finally aunt bea

german soldiers were beginning to look good

next up was molly sylvia labbick

she was a dead ringer for june cleaver

she had brought her cat

she had the cat purr into the microphone

that was her poem

next up was jack spratt

he swore that was his real name

he did a lovely poem about a color blind man watching the sunset

the crowd ate it up like granola

the ukelele was as good as his, he figured

then up stepped charles ulysses farley

dressed as a knight sans helmet

his poem, he said, was a tribute to john cage

he said nothing further

the crowd sat in rapt amazement

and broke into riotous applause

4 minutes and 33 seconds later

he had won the contest

and also the love of molly

but that is another story

Like
Shelfit

Humor

Add Your Comments:

Sign in to write a comment

Comments

Wilbur

Comment | 64 words

Mon, March 12th, 2012 4:49pm

My homework report:
* a grin at '13th and pelvis'
* a throaty guffaw your 2nd, 'burst into tears'
* a choke and hawhawhaw at'telly keneisses'
* repeating over and over between laughs-- 'bil tupp,' 'howie dewen,' 'gladys sunday,' and 'molly silvia labbick'--that last almost doing me in...
So ---
Kudos, man of many voices. You've done it again.
My very best regards
Connie

Author
Reply

Comment | 6 words

Mon, March 12th, 2012 10:51pm

glad you enjoyed....that was fun

californiadreamin

Comment | 19 words

Tue, March 13th, 2012 8:15am

Very different style for you but still funny as heck. This sets an interesting mood. Like it a lot! :)

Author
Reply

Comment | 19 words

Tue, March 13th, 2012 9:11am

i think i could have expanded this a little but decided to keep it short....thanks for reading , cali :)

Lilyann

Comment | 79 words

Thu, August 4th, 2016 12:26pm

Good from beginning to end

Wonderfully written very interesting and insightful
The descriptions were specific and I liked how you portrayed her personality in the beginning of the poem. The whole lay out of your poetry was great from the beginning to end part of it and was excellent and especially well written. The tempo and drive of the poem excited me and wanted me to never to end my reading of it but yet it will be another story that you shall write

Author
Reply

Comment | 13 words

Thu, August 4th, 2016 9:18pm

rarely write anything besides poems...that RHYME (gasp)...glad ya dug it Lilyann