In Essenc of Things- Chapter 35 (Sakis)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
The final chapter...

Submitted: September 22, 2007

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 22, 2007



Nicki dropped me off at Ashleigh’s, and I made my way up to the front porch where she was hanging out. She had her head hung low as she swung from the small swing, but when she heard my approaching steps she smiled and jumped off in mid air, landing in my arms. “What happened…? You look so… different…! They said on the news you were a convicted criminal and that you disappeared when the car transporting you blew up… what trouble have you been causing now?”

I laughed. “Oddly enough… everyone else has been causing the trouble except for me…”

She sat back down on her swing, her green eyes daring me. “Tell me everything…”

“That would take a week, and even though I like to scream, I don’t have the voice to do it. I’ll make it simple, but not more believable: got in a car accident which landed me in a mental hospital twice, which led to two breakouts which landed me in court and a wanted criminal because my bitch of a cousin wants me all to herself, but I don’t want her…”

Ashleigh nodded. “That’s… nuts…!”

“It is…” I sighed. “When they took me away… Satyr killed the drivers and blew up the car- getting me outside first of course- and we escaped. I’ve had to undergo a few… drastic changes…”

She winced. “They did a really good job on your face…”

“That, love… is real… from the first car accident… glass messed it up…”

“Oh… it’s not that bad… really… makes you look all the more rugged and scruffy,” she grinned. “You look like a cross between Peter Tatgren… with the way you did the beard… and some battle hard warrior…”

I rolled my eyes. “Ah yes… the battle ready Sakis… prepared to take on anyone, be it on the streets or in bed…”

Ashleigh laughed. “Oh, you are amusing…”

“So you say…”

She nodded. “Want to come inside…?”

“Sure…” I followed her in and we both sat on the couch. “So… how are things with that girl… Nell?”

“We’re done…” I said.

“Oh… I’m sorry… what happened?”

“She just… lost patience, I suppose. I told her that due to recent events, I had to put us aside until I got everything stable…”

“Sakis… I’ve known you for two years… no matter how hard you try your life will never be stable.”

“I think I’ve figured that by now…” I muttered. “So… as of now… I’m trying to clear my name, figure out who I want to be with… and decide what the heck to tell my parents when they realize their son’s a scarred criminal…”

Ashleigh patted my shoulder. “You’re the great Sakis Mayem… no matter what happens you always find a way…”

“So far…”

“Oh you will…” She sat back. “So… Nell left due to impatience, huh? Well… I don’t blame her… you’re not exactly easy to live with…”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence…” I snorted sarcastically.

“No… it’s a good thing! If someone like you comes along, it presents girls a challenge. She learns something about herself in the process…”

“You’ve never dated me, so how can you know?”

“I’ve hung out with you enough to know that you have a good effect on women… you wake things up in them…”

“Musically… pretty much. I teach people to find their connection with music…”

“And in the process you help people learn about themselves.” Ashleigh added. “Do you still care about Nell?”

“Why should I care about someone who doesn’t care about me?”

“Just answer the question…”

“Yes… of course I still care. But, she took off… I’m not going to force anything. I’ll get back with Amanda and Satyr, her, and I will be closer than ever!”

“But will you be happy…?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Ashleigh shrugged. “I don’t know… possibly because you don’t have what you want…”

“And what would that be?”

Her eyes flashed. “Nell…”

“And what makes Nell so important…?”

“The fact that you care about her… that she’s sane… a girl who despite Anna’s ruinations, stuck with you…”

“Until now…”

Ashleigh threw her hands in the air. “Because you told her you didn’t have time for her! You’re an idiot!”

I stood up, glaring. “Look, Ash. I had too many other things going… I’ve been to hell and back three times and been places that you can’t imagine… I can’t just stop everything and take a moment with a girl… I’d love to… but life is not a stereo where I can press pause!”

“I know. But, you have to make do with that. Or else you’re never going to have a girlfriend.” Ashleigh sat back. “Look, I know Amanda, and she loves you just because you’re good in bed… or so she brags... her love for you is possessive love. She doesn’t need you for emotional stuff, just a booty call to her alone. You’re on a chain when you’re with her… do you want to be on a chain, Sakis?”

I shook my head. “You’ve never dated her… so you can’t say these things…”

“But, I’ve seen the fact that you two have made and broke each other many times, and that tells me all I need to know…”

“We’ll see…” I coughed. “How come you never considered us?”

Ashleigh looked down. “I’ve considered it… but then reality kicked me in the ass. I’m thirteen… you’re twenty one… think of how that would work?”

I sighed. “It wouldn’t…”

“Exactly…” She stood up. “What you do is up to you, Sakis. But, maybe you should give Nell another chance…”

“A third…” I corrected her. “She cheated on me… to piss of Anna…”

“Oh… well in that case…” A knock interrupted Ashleigh. She looked at me. I shrugged. “Must be Jesse… I told him to come by if he wanted… guess he and the others got to Anna faster than anticipated…”

She nodded and got up and opened the door to see the barrel of a pistol pointed at her and she shouted and jumped back. I stood up to see Anna standing in the doorway, with Ryan unconscious behind her, a smile on her face. “There you are…”

“How’d you get here?”

“Nell…” Anna stepped inside and shut the door.
I growled and bit my lip. “That… bitch…” I glanced at Ashleigh. “You so sure about second chances now…?”

“Shut up… both of you…” Anna snapped. I snorted, staring at her. “Anna… put down the gun…”

“Fuck you…” She shuddered. “You’re just so hard… to possess. To contain! No matter what, you get out!”

“No one should ever be caged…”

Anna shook her head. “Why can’t you see that I love you?”

“This is not love when you put a gun to our heads…”

“Call it insurance…”

“In that case I’ll have to take a minute to go grab my armored tank for my insurance…”

“Very funny…”

I sighed. “Anna… what do you want? I already gave you what you wanted…!”

“I want you… with me… no one else! Either that… or dead!”

“I think I’ll take the second option…”

“Oh… so unwise…”

“Well… I’ve been known for idiocy…” I shrugged. “But, either way, you’ve put me away as it is… already killed me once… so I guess a second time wouldn’t be so bad…”

“I cleared you… after you took off. I went to the Judge and got him to let you off… I don’t know what was going through my head…”

“Do you even know what’s going through your head now?”


“Then put down the gun…”

“No!” Anna’s grip tightened and I swallowed. “Anna… at least let Ashleigh leave…”

“Fine… the little underage bitch can go…”

Ashleigh shook her head. “I’m not leaving you here with this crazy bitch…”

“Suit yourself…” Anna shrugged. She motioned towards the couch. “Sit…”

We did. “Now… I came to talk… and to convince… Sakis. First off, I want to apologize… for backstabbing you in court. I took care of that…”

“They’re still looking for me…”

“You just have to go back to the court and let them know you’re alive so people can take you off the ‘missing or dead’ list. Satyr can’t be touched because he left no evidence… everyone thinks it was the car’s fault.” She brushed her hair out of her eyes. “Now… on to us…”

“There is no us…” I said.

“There can be…” Anna hissed. “You… and me… and the others… it’s perfect! I’ve always been beside you…”

“All we’ve done is fight…” I snorted.

“That… was your idea! To ‘clear the feelings,’ so you said! Well, that didn’t do shit! So now we’re going to play things my way!”

“Which is what… kill us all?”

“If you don’t abide by the rules…”

“Rules were meant to be bent…”

Anna sighed. “Oh Sakis… such a fool… to wisecrack in front of impending death…”

“What else am I supposed to do…?”

“Perhaps shut up and listen…?”

“I’m listening…”

“Look… I can’t stand to be without you… period. And it’s not just because you know how to please… you know a girl’s heart… which scares them… like Nell, like Amanda… they’re afraid because you can see everything about them, things they don’t want to see. You can make anyone do anything with the right music… you’re amazing…”

“And you’re nuts…” I stood up. “Anna… I don’t love you… not like that. I may be able to charm a girl well enough, but that doesn’t mean I love them. Hell, I don’t know what love even is… I’ve said to so many people it’s become meaningless. But, you standing there with that gun doesn’t change anything… you shoot me, well… that still doesn’t make me yours…”

“It makes you mine… on one elses…! After I shoot you, I’ll shoot myself, and we’ll be together, in death!”

I snorted. “You know… that’s crap…”

She shrugged. “Fine… your choice…” Then she fired the gun. I felt a sharp pain, one the greatest pains ever, in my chest, and then I collapsed on the ground. Ashleigh screamed. I heard someone pounding on the door. Anna stepped over me, I was coughing up blood, choking out breaths, but still alive. She sighed. “You really… just don’t die… do you?” She fired four more times and that was all I knew.



I opened my eyes to see myself lying on a floor of white. I rolled over, looked up, and saw white as well. I stood up, and saw myself completely surrounded by white. I turned, and saw Thompson standing before me. I sighed. “Let me guess… I’m dead?”

“You are…” Thompson, or God, as I figured now, stated. “You took five bullets in the chest… no one survives that…”

“Couldn’t you have made them go in the other direction?”
God shrugged. “You know I can’t interfere with these things…”

“Dandy…” I sighed. “So… I suppose you’re going to lead me to Heaven now?”

“What makes you think you’re going there?”
I hung my head. “Wishful thinking… fine… pull the lever that drops me to Hell then…!”

“What makes you think you’re going there?”

I frowned. “Where else is there to go?”

“Back to Satyr and the others…?”

I laughed. “I’m dead though…”

“I brought my son back; I can bring you back…”

“And why would you do that?”

God sat down on the floor, as did I. I realized that even though something stopped me from falling, I couldn’t feel anything beneath me. “Sakis… I’ve watched over you for the past year… seen how you’ve changed people you’ve met… you’ve changed them for the better… not always in the way that I would have done… but you did. You stopped Amanda from cutting… or tried… and she did… until you left her. But, that’s not the point. You helped Nell through her boyfriend troubles… you befriended the biggest ass in the world… you helped Ashleigh deal with her mother’s problems… you’re a selfless person. And if it’s one thing I applaud… it’s sacrifice…”

“I think I’d call it idiocy more than sacrifice…” I shrugged. “Anna shot me five times because I was mouthing off…”

“You were spitting wisdom…”
“If that’s what you call it…”

God nodded. “I do. Anna… is as lost and damned as they come. She’s dead too now… you know? Shot herself with the last bullet…”

“Great…” I shrugged. “I don’t care…”

“She’s in Hell right now…”

“Where am I?”

“Nowhere… you’re in the middle of everything… as you always are…”

“So… what happens to me now?”

“Well… it’s been a few days since your death and they’re currently going through your memories before they cremate you at Thompson’s church…”

“I’m going to be cremated??”

“Within the next five minutes…”


God nodded. “Look… I can send you back… if you want…?”

“Of course I want to go back! Why wouldn’t I? I’ve got more than half my life to live out!” I paused. “Why exactly, are you doing this for me again?”

God shrugged. “Most people… do selfless acts… either for money or they think about getting into Heaven. You never really believed in that… you did it for the sake of the person… and took what you got, be it good or bad. It’s that kind of thing I applaud… to help people in the interest of people… no matter what. I see people walk along every day and see signs for missing dogs or people and the first thing that enters their mind is ‘what’s the reward?’ But, not you, Sakis Mayem… not you…”

“I see…” I shrugged. “Well… send me back then…”

“As you wish…” God nodded. “You know… I was proud of you… when you helped Thompson out with his sermon ideals. A little humor goes a long way…”

“Glad you enjoyed the show…”

God nodded and touched my chest and a moment later I felt everything go black again, before I opened my eyes and felt weight, cushion, and not a lot of air. I realized I was staring through a glass coffin, buried among flowers and CDs. I shifted my weight, realizing that my arms were at a point where they couldn’t move, as were my legs. I coughed, and jerked the coffin. It didn’t move. I coughed again, and began trying to wriggle myself free. But, the suit, on top of all the flowers and CDs, made it impossible. I could hear Thompson talking; the ceremony must have been coming to a close.

“…. And may we think of him as not dead, but watching over us… like all those cable satellites that do more good than the government does with their own…” I chuckled. Good job, Thompson. Way to use humor! I felt a leg come loose and kicked, but the massive amount of CDs, as well as the sealed glass, kept me down, and from what I could tell, I barely moved anything. I sighed, swearing in the most peaceful way I could, and began using my foot to try and move CDs aside so maybe I could see the glass itself.

“… and now we shall take memory of his ashes…”

I paused, feeling the coffin suddenly start moving. I cursed. No… not yet… I’m still in here, damnit! I gave another kick, and felt some CDs crack and give way. I hoped they weren’t any of the rare ones. I heard silence, and then Nell’s voice over the podium microphone. I quit thrashing for a bit. “I just want to say… Sakis… was a better man then people gave him credit for. Myself included. He sure knew how to aggravate people… but he also knew the key to most people’s hearts… especially mine. I loved Sakis. I did… but I never got around to telling him… in fact the last thing I said to him was that I hated him… but that wasn’t true. I hated the situation… not him. And if he were alive again, I’d tell him that I loved him…” Another pause; I felt heat. “I wonder… what he thought of in his last moments…?”
“Yipee Kai yo Kai yay, motherfucker! I’m still alive!” I shouted as I reared my foot back and finally made contact with the glass. It shuddered, but didn’t give. I felt the treadmill stop, and then it unlatch. A hand reached in and I felt myself being pulled upward among the mounds of CDs, and I breathed fresh air. Everyone in the church was standing stock still; even Thompson, who dropped my hand and jumped back, absolutely terrified. Ryan stood up and pointed. “You’re… not dead?” I sighed.

“Well… I couldn’t let you burn all those CDs, now could I?” I grabbed a particular case. “Dan Swano’s Moontower… worth over a hundred dollars… and you were going to MELT IT!?” I shouted. I picked up another one. “Insane Clown Posse’s Great Milenko? Profundi’s Omega Rising? You were going to burn them all?” I felt like crying. “You all should know better! That goes for all of you! Mom… dad… Satyr… you should know better!”

Ashleigh was staring. “You… you’re alive?”

“Alive again…” I grinned. “Remember what you said… I can conquer anything!”

She fainted, as did a few other people. Thompson shook his head. “How is this possible… you were dead!”

I shrugged. “Stop asking me that! I know I’m alive! God works in mysterious ways… I suppose.”

“You saw God?”

“I did…”

“What did he look like?”
“Oddly enough... he looked like you…”

“Come on… humor aside… was it as Moses said?”

“I wouldn’t be here if it was as Moses said. He basically looked like you…”

“Fine… don’t tell us then…”

“You can see for yourself one day…” I said. Ryan walked up and poked me in the cheek. Then he hugged me. “Wow, dude… you’re back… and I have no idea how!”

Amanda jumped up and leaped into my arms. “Well… whatever happened… you’re alive… I can’t believe it… Anna was right… you just won’t die… and that’s a good thing!” She wouldn’t stop grinning.

“What happened to her?”

“She shot you… Satyr broke down the door, and she shot you four times, and then shot herself. We were so upset… so distraught… Satyr was crying… so was Nell. She wouldn’t let go of you… she just kept saying over and over that she wished she had said something other than ‘I hate you’ before she left…”

Satyr rushed up too and basically picked me up off the floor. Jesse was beside him. “It was a scary moment for all of us… your family especially…” Jesse looked back. “I think they passed out…”

“They’ll come around…”

“Yea…” He scratched his head. “You should go make them see that they aren’t dreaming…”

I smiled. “Are you OK?”

“A little shaken… but now that you’re alive… I guess I am OK.” Jesse patted my shoulder. “I have to go actually… but come by my place tonight… and tell me what the heck happened!”

“You do the same…” I hugged him, and made my way over to my parents and shook them awake. My mom stared, screamed, and threw her arms around me. I took a moment to take in their rants and howls and then told them I was fine, and I would see them at home. My dad and Ryan ushered my mom out the door, and I went back to Satyr. “I don’t understand it… how you came back? Did you really… see God? And why did He choose you?” Satyr asked.

“The essence of everything works in mysterious ways… be it by the God or Devil… but most of us… we as mortals…” I shrugged. “We set things in motion, and it’s our duty to do it for the right reasons… this isn’t about Heaven or money… but the fact it makes other people happy…”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about… but it makes some sense…” Satyr laughed. “Speaking of Nell…” he turned my head and I saw her walking towards me, slowly, as if I were a stray dog that she couldn’t tell was friendly or not. “She wants to talk to you…”

I nodded and made my way down the steps; people kept back, like I had the plague, but I knew it was of respect. Nell and I stood a person apart, just looking at each other. She shifted and looked down at the ground. “So… you came back…?”

I stared. “Is that all you have to say…? Does it surprise you…?”

“Well I figured after what I said… you’d come back to curse me out and then disappear… for what I said… for what I did… and then disappear… so no it does not surprise me. So go ahead… lay it on me! I deserve it! God knows how many times I screwed up! I cheated on you, I cursed you out, I sold you out, and then I left you to Anna.” I saw a tear fall down her face. “I’m sorry… I don’t know what else to say… I guess I’m not the great person I thought myself to be…”

I shrugged. “We’ve all made our mistakes… I’ve had my share with you too... but I’m putting up with you because I love you… I only ask the same of you…”

She nodded, wiping away tears. “I’ll try… I can’t promise anything… but I love you… and I’ll try… for you…”

“That’s all I ask…” I nodded, hugging her. “We have to push for what we want…”

“We do…” she agreed.

Satyr tapped me on the shoulder. “Just to let you know… you’re clear of all charges… but you’re dead… again… and I’m not exactly sure how we’re going to reverse that…”

I grinned mischievously. “I think we’ll find a way…”

He grinned back. “We always do…”

I nodded and turned to Amanda who was holding Jessica’s hand, smiling. “You two go well together, you and Nell. Treat each other well…”

“I’m surprised you’re not gritting your teeth…”
“Oh I am… but it’s for other reasons… but that’s not the point. After Anna… shot you… I realized how bad it could get. I didn’t want that to become us… where I would go so far as to kill you to make you mine. Besides, I’m fine being your friend… it’s better for us that way; we work so well just hanging out, and who knows maybe a few benefits can come forth every once in a while…” She paused at Nell’s scowling face. “Or not… I wouldn’t want to break Jessica’s precious heart… a broken hearted lesbian can be very nasty…”

I chuckled. “I suppose you want me to create a distraction… so you two can…”

She nodded. “OK you two… go to my place… have your fun, but be quiet. My parents are there… use the window…” I said sternly.

“You know we’re screamers…”

“Then make this an exception…” I sighed, went back to the masses of CDs, and dug something up. Amanda followed me and kissed my cheek. “Glad you’re back… however you came back… you mean a lot to people… not just me.”

“Thanks…” I walked over to the stereo near the podium, switched albums, and put on a fast, long metal album. People took for the doors; Thompson stared. “You can’t do that!”

“It’s a free country…” I shrugged. “And it doesn’t say in the Bible that ‘thou shalt not blast thy metal in a church’ now does it?”

Thompson sighed. “I’m going out…”

“Me too…” Sakis said in an arrogant voice, mocking Thompson.

“I’ll catch up with you shortly…” I called after him. I head the door shut and looked at Nell; it was just the two of us now, along with the music. Nell began tapping her foot on the ground. “What band…?”

“Vital Remains… I can’t believe you were going to burn my Icons of Evil album!”

Nell shrugged. “Satyr thought it was best that your music go down with it’s listener…”

“That’s how I would have had it too…” I chuckled. “I love you though… Essence… I do. And I’m sorry that I’m not exactly a normal boyfriend considering all the trouble I cause these days…”

“Who wants a normal boyfriend?” she shrugged. “When I have grandkids, I want to be able to excite them with wild adventures of my youth… not boring stuff.”

I laughed. “Good girl.” I leaned over and kissed her. “So… are you going to try and stand me and my crazy friends…?”

“I think if I’ve lasted this long… I can survive a bit longer…”

“I hope so…” I nodded. “I really hope so…” I took her hand and we walked out of the church. Satyr was waiting by his car. “Your metal chariot awaits…” he laughed. Nell and I both grinned, climbed in back. “What shall it be and where to shall we be?”

I nodded to Nell. “Where do you want to go to?”

“How about the beach…?”

“Beach is nice…” Satyr put the car in drive. “Why there though?”

Nell laughed. “It was the one place that I could have any peace with Sakis…”

“Do you two just want me to drop you off…?”

Nell smiled. “No… you can come along…”

“Great…” Satyr grinned. “So you don’t hate me anymore?”

“Oh I hate you… I’m just covering it up with fake sincerity…”

“Good enough for me…” Satyr put on some good metal music and shot forth. I smiled and felt Nell snuggle up next to me. “Perfect,” I thought. I knew life was not going to be perfect, but it would work well enough for a while. I had good friends, girlfriends, and music. What else could I need? What else could anyone need?

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