Speed of thoughts.!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
I often wonder how fast our minds respond to the changes around us. There is an incomparable speed with which millions of thoughts flash by in my mind every minute, and yet my life seems clueless, without any answers to my never ending questions.

Submitted: December 12, 2011

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Submitted: December 12, 2011

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The mind is a racecourse, lined with a crowd of dismantled spectators, each pumping with an abrading pressure of expectation within. The grass fades in a torment of anxiety, fences crumple under the emotional juggernauts, and running around in the track of ambition are horses of our thoughts, thumping the ground with the exuberance of hope.

 

There’s a busy street inside my head, with a cacophony of wild thoughts racing up and down. There’s so much to think, so much to realize, every nerve pounds with a frantic expression of pain.

What are these thoughts all about, except for a boulevard of broken dreams and few pinnacles of delirium? Running around like animals in an abattoir, is this the only proximity we have with ourselves?

 

My mind throbs with the aberrant thumping of these thoughts, my brain cries to abjure the malignant resurrection of emotions, but little as we could do to tame the laws of nature, there is certainly no way to abscond from the manacles of oblivion. Worries come and go in the debris of uncertainty, leaving us all only to fiddle with a cataleptic paradox.

 

Only sometimes, on a silent drizzling night, I sit on the window sill, sipping away at the beverage of contemplation, thinking hard about the conspiracies of my mind. I wish I could give words to my thoughts, I wish if ever the puppets of my imagination could dance on the floor of reality, but the fast moving thoughts seem to slow down the vehicle of introspection in me. I sit there for hours, feeling the gentle splashes of rain on my face and the cold night breeze ruffling my hair, but the answers appear to be dizzy as always, hidden away behind a dark cloud of hysteria.

 

The journey that I’m traveling, the journey of following my thoughts, is tiring me like a corpse. One moment, I’m in the meadows, chasing the colorful butterflies of joy, and the next moment takes me to a world full of animosity. The race between my thoughts is getting fierce with each passing day, and I couldn’t hold on to the halter of my horse anymore.

 

Is it always going to be this way, I ask myself. Are the shadows of obscurity going to haunt me like a year-long nightmare forever?

I close my eyes in search of stability, but all I see is an arena of abhorrence.

And then, the night of mental Olympiad ends there. I shut the window and turn towards my bed, hoping to sleep off a peaceful night.

And just when my dreams start to take me down a long lost memory lane, I suddenly realize that the intense speed of thoughts has taken me far, far away from the life I desired…..


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