Harold the horny hare

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A short fable about a young hare struggling to keep a good thing going and finding an unlikely ally.

Submitted: February 06, 2014

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Submitted: February 06, 2014

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 In a peaceful land, nestled in a quiet forest, burrowed beneath

a towering oak rested a very lucky individual. Harold was a

male hare, quite blessed to be surrounded by several cute

womenfolk and no other hare to care for their 'needs'.

 

A morning like most others with a blue sky and shining sun,

the birds tweeting and bees buzzing. Shaking and shivering

his fluffy coat as he exit's the comfort of his burrow, Harold

begins his daily routine. Hopping and stepping as he makes

his rounds, calling quietly to his first mate.

 

There is a reason she is Harold's first, coat white as snow,

ears straight and perky and a perfectly round, fluffy cotton

ball tail. \"Yowza. Babe, you make a hare want to hibernate in

the heart of spring.\" A slight red tinting her cheeks as she

nuzzles up to him. Their coupling quick and frantic as Harold

makes her his. The pleasure done Harold prepares for the

uncomfortable part. Turning to continue on his way to the

next eager female companion. \"Wait, Harold where are you

going? Won't you stay for a while?\" Sighing to himself as he

turns back to her. \"I have other places to be, you know that.\"

A sad look cast his way as her lip trembles. \"Don't you love

me?\" Settling back on his hindquarters, Harold tries to end

things quickly just like every other day. \"What's love got to

do with it? We had fun, I'll be back tomorrow.\" With that he

hops up and heads off to his next woman.

 

 One, two, a dozen women later Harold heads home.

Thoroughly and pleasantly exhausted with his duty done,

propagating the species with enthusiasm and gusto. If only

they weren't so clingy all the time. Day in and day out the

same questions, \"What about our children. Don't you want to

raise a family? Am I not attractive, why don't you love me?

Love, love, love, always the same word attempting to guilt

him into staying. What does love have to do with it?\"

 

Curling up inside his den, Harold falls asleep with mixed

eagerness for the morrow. \"It's not an easy job, but *yawn*

someone's gotta do it.\"

 

As the next day dawned, Harold knew instantly it wasn't

going to be a good one. The sky clouded with sporadic

rumbling as a light rain sprinkled through the green leaves

above. His coat drenched and plastered to his shivering body

as he arrives at his first destination. Calling to her as he does

everyday, waiting expectantly for the white vixen to come to

him. Waiting and waiting, seconds then minutes go by with

no answer. Searching her den and finding it empty Harold

sighs and continues to the next female. A similar result as the

first, no answer and no one home. Boggled and no small

amount of trepid as he hurries to the next. Then the next and

the next. Not a single one of them home. Horny and

frustrated, Harold heads home with his eyes downcast and a

depressed gait to his step. Completely lost in his own

thoughts as he ponders this series of events, unknowing of

the hawk perched in the canopy above.

 

Dropping from it's high vantage, striking within the flash of a

lightning bolt the hawk snatches Harold from the ground.

Ribs bending dangerously as he's lifted from the earth,

wheezing out a desperate cry with his legs kicking wildly.

\"Stop your squirming before I drop you, you foolish hare.\"

Shocked into momentary stasis, Harold looks up at the hawk.

\"W-w-where are you taking?\" Briefly glancing down at the

fluffy creature clutched in it's claws the hawk screeches a

reply. \"Just relax!\"

 

An eternity later, which was really only a few minutes both

hare and hawk alight back to the ground below. Still shaking

from the terrifying experience, Harold's eyes dart left and

right seeking the quickest escape from his abductor. \"Don't

even think about it.\" The hawk warns with a piercing stare.

Nodding his head towards a thick tangle of brush, the hawk

skips awkwardly with is a waddling walk. A single jerk of the

head lets Harold know to follow. Both prey and predator

sneaking their way into the foliage as they look upon a

curious scene beyond. The women, all of them together and

talking about HIM!!!

 

After listening for a few minutes to their hateful gossip

Harold creeps his way free of the bushes. \"I guess that

explains a few things.\" With a subtle nod and a smug look on

his face, the hawk replies. \"I think this would mean the end

of your fun. Which is bad for me.\" Quirking an eyebrow up,

Harold mutters through his dark brooding. \"So it would

seem, but how is it bad for you?\" A painful peck on the head

from his sharp beak the hawk explains further. \"While I am a

great hunter and have my pick of many creatures, none are so

tender and juicy as a young fluffy hare. If you do not 'spread

your seed' my favorite treat will be rare indeed. So I have an

idea, if you're willing?\" Wary of this feathered creature,

Harold finds no choice but to accept.

 

Bloody and torn, fur gouged with 'friendly' wounds from

both talon and beak Harold makes his way into the circle.

Playing his role to perfection, the defender of his womenfolk,

fighting off a hawk to keep them safe. A noble, wounded

hero limping into their presence. The clearing echoing with

the collective gasp as they all take in his wounds and hurts.

Fawning and swooning over his heroic actions for their well

being. Several phrases being repeated, all mixing to an

emotional murmuring. \"He does love me! He cares! My

hero!\" Their distaste and hatred so quickly forgotten as they

help him home. Harold giving a sly wink over his shoulder

 towards the brush and an unlikely ally.


© Copyright 2020 Mpalmer. All rights reserved.

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