My relationship based advice from personal journey

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Submitted: June 17, 2013

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Submitted: June 17, 2013



Holding on is being brave, but letting go and moving on is often what makes us stronger and happier.

Here are signs it’s time to let go:

Through my very own experience with ungrateful called DELILAH who use to be someone I use to know or thougth that I know, I can tell you as follows.


Someone expects you to be someone you’re not.

 I did change who I am for anyone else. I now found out that it's wiser to lose someone over being who you are, than to keep them by being someone you are not.

Because it’s easier to mend a broken heart, than it is to piece together a shattered identity.


It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space inside yourself where YOU used to be.


A person’s actions don’t match their words.


 Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow.

If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent and their actions don’t match up with their words, it’s time to let them go.

It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company.

True friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time.

Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do. Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves over time.


You catch yourself forcing someone to love you.


 Let us keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to love us.

We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave.

That’s what love is all about – freedom. However, the end of love is not the end of life.

It should be the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves for a reason, but never leaves without a lesson.

If someone truly loves you, they will never give you a reason to doubt it.

Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you, but it takes someone really special to stay in your life and prove how much they love you.

Sometimes it takes a while to find the right person, but the right person is always worth the wait.


An intimate relationship is based strictly on physical attraction.


 Being beautiful is more than how many people you can get to look at you, or how others perceive you at a single glance.

It’s about what you live for. It’s about what defines you.

It’s about the depth of your heart, and what makes you unique.

It’s about being who you are and living out your life honestly.

It’s about those little quirks that make you, you.

People who are only attracted to you because of your pretty face or nice body won’t stay by your side forever.

But the people who can see how beautiful your heart is will never leave you.


Someone continuously breaks your trust.

 Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to.

When you completely trust a person, without any doubt, you’ll automatically get one of two results - a FRIEND for life or a LESSON for life.

Either way there’s a positive outcome.

Either you confirm the fact that this person cares about you, or you get the opportunity to weed them out of your life and make room for those who do.

In the end you’ll discover whose fake, who’s true, and who would risk it all for you.

And trust me’ some people will totally surprise you.


Someone continuously overlooks your worth.

 Know your worth! When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you will never get back.

There comes a point when you have to let go and stop chasing wind and trying to catch it.

If someone wants you in their life, they’ll find a way to put you there. Sometimes you just need to let go and accept the fact that they don’t care for you the way you care for them.

Let them leave your life quietly.

(unlike my own mistake in which I struck her, it was a mistake I would ever live to regret) Letting go is oftentimes easier than holding on.

We think it’s too hard to let go, until we actually do.

Then we ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”


You are never given a chance to speak your mind.

 Sometimes an argument saves a relationship, whereas silence breaks it.

Speak up for your heart so that you won’t have regrets.

Life is not about making others happy.

Life is about being honest and sharing your happiness with others.

I Anayo will tell you that I had bad taste of not being able to tell my own side of story and it hurt and hurt me very deep.

Remember that when one dismissed your story they dismissed who you are and diminished and humiliate you.


You are frequently forced to sacrifice your happiness.

If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know it you become clown.

Know when to close the account.

It’s always better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that constantly requires you to sacrifice your happiness and self-respect.

In my one case I found myself trying to make someone happy while I am dying silently.

I found myself behaving like a clown, it was like a tree trying to make forests, and looking back at it today it is so humiliating.


You truly dislike your current situation, routine, surroundings, etc.

It’s better to be a failure at something you love than to succeed at doing something you hate.

Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours. T

he best thing you can do in life is follow your heart.

Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you are afraid of what might happen.

If you do, nothing will ever happen. Chances must be taken, mistakes must be made, and lessons must be learned.

It might be an uphill climb, but when you reach that mountaintop it will be worth every bit of blood, sweat and tears you put into it.

I was in a situation I hated so much, I found myself drinking too much alcohols, soaked with severe depression, insomnia, anxieties and emotional pains in which I found myself constantly hitting my head on the floor and walls to feel physical pains.

And my beloved closest make most of my bad situation.


You catch yourself obsessing over, and living in, the past.

Eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain.

Eventually you will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time.

After all, what matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life, which unveils the details of how well you wrote your story.

So I would let go of the past, set myself free, and open my mind to the possibility of new relationships and priceless experiences.

Yep in my case it was constantly as if am being swallowed by earth and the sinking feeling, sense of lost, heartache, fear of future, disoriented, disbelieve and confused.

But today I am happier and more optimistic about my future. And the one thing you should never let go of is hope.

Remember what you deserve and keep pushing forward. Someday all the pieces will come together.

Unimaginably good things will transpire in my life, even if everything doesn’t turn out exactly the way I had anticipated.

And I will look back at the times that have passed, smile, and ask myself, “How did I get through all of that?”


Moving forward after shattered dreams learning how to walk again by finding my feet agains


Learn from the past, and then get the heck out of there!

All my Past mistakes should teach me to create a wonderful future; not cause me to be afraid of it.

I would not carry my mistakes around with me. Instead, I place them under my feet and use them as stepping stones.

And never regret.

If it’s good, it’s wonderful.

If it’s bad, it’s experience.

Success is not about where I am standing at any given point in time; it’s about how much I've learned and how far I have come to get there.

It was one day like that I would look back and see how far I have gone from where I started.


Focus on what’s truly important.

I would identify what’s most important to me. I would  eiminate as much as I possibly can of everything else.

No wasted time, no fluff, no regrets. Hakuna matata


Focus on being productive, not being busy.

I would not just get things done; I would get the right things done.

Results are always more important than the time it takes to achieve them.

I would stop and ask myself if what I am working on is worth the effort.

Is it bringing me in the same direction as my goals?

Don’t get caught up in odd situation again even those that seem urgent, unless they are also important.


Give what you want to receive.

I would get the best out of others, and every situation, when you give the best of myself.

Start practicing the golden rule.

If you want love, give love.

If I ever want friends, I would be friendly. If I want money, I will work on providing value. It works. It really is this simple?

I would see as time goes on as no one know what tomorrow hold for us all.


I would Stop trying to be everything to everyone.

 I would not try to be friends with everyone. I

would Cultivate closer relationships with fewer people.

I would not start focusing on being everything to someone.

Because I now learnt that helping or pleasing everyone is impossible.

But If I would try making one person smile can change the world.

Maybe not the whole world, but their world. S

o I would narrow my focus on being myself.


I would always do what I know in my  heart that is right.

 I would stop doing immoral things simply because I can.

I would continue being honest with myself and everyone else. I don’t cheat.

I would be faithful to everyone i am dealing with.

I would be kind to everyone I am in contact with.

I would do the right thing at all time!  

I strongly beleive that it is a less complicated way to live.

Integrity is the essence of everything successful.

When you break the rules of integrity you invite serious complications into your life.

I would keep life simple and enjoyable by doing what I know in my heart is right.


When I have time and when I am fully healed I would organize my space.


Now I would start clearing clutter.

Get rid of stuff I don’t use and then organize what’s left.

I would be Keeping both my living and working areas organized is crucial.

If I still have a cluttered space, it can be distracting and stressful.

A clear space is like a blank papers available to be used to create something great.


Now it is time for me to learn how to be efficient.

It is important for me to stop being inefficient both in my thinking and managing my stress and emotions.

simply because you’ve always done it that way. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.

Many times we live with unplanned, complex systems in our lives simply because we haven’t given them much thought.

Instead, streamline your life by finding better ways of handling common tasks.

Focus on one system at a time (your cleaning system, your errands system, your paperwork system, your email system, etc.) and try to make it simplified, efficient, and logical.

Then, once you have it perfected, stick to it.


Let things be less than perfect.

Smile every chance you get; not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have, and all the problems I know you don’t have.

You must accept the fact that life is not perfect, that people are not perfect, and that you are not perfect.

And that’s okay, because the real world doesn’t reward perfection. It rewards people who get GOOD things done.

And the only way to get GOOD things done is to be imperfect 99% of the time.


Let go of needless drama and those who create it.

Never create unnecessary drama, and don’t surround yourself with those who do.

Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.

Don’t walk away from negative people, RUN! Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.


Forget what everyone else thinks and wants for you.

 One of the greatest freedoms is simply not caring what everyone else thinks of you. Sometimes you need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of whom you are and what you want to be.

The best thing you can do is follow your heart. Take risks.

Don’t just accept the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what others will think, or afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing will ever happen.

Don’t let small minds convince you that your dreams are too big. They aren’t.

© Copyright 2019 Mr Ezimuor. All rights reserved.

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