Febuary 13, 2011 - Am I Losing My Mind?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
journal entry

Submitted: February 13, 2011

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Submitted: February 13, 2011

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Febuary 13, 2011

Interesting day, you could say... I woke up at 10:00 AM in sweat and panic. I have no idea why. I must have had a bad dream or something... I can't remember. Then I saw my friend who I haven't seen in almost 2 years! Which was really nice. It's always nice to reunite with old friends. I was out most of the day, and I had a good time. But when I got home, like usual, I talked to my friends on AIM and Facebook etc. and people were stressed and sad and just not in a good mood. It was sad to see all my friends feeling bad... Then I got a message from one of my friends who said that she needed to talk to me, but I wasn't around when she needed me. I had told her that I would be there for her, but I wasn't. I broke my promise. And she went to sleep early... I hope that she's alright. I hope she didn't do anything bad... I'm worried, really worried. I can't believe that I wasn't there when she needed me... I feel so stupid and guilty. I don't even know what was going on, but she sounded sad and upset. I was too late, and now I can only hope that everything is ok. I would feel so bad if something happened... I'll pray for her tonight. And if she needs me during the middle of the night, I will be reachable for her. So much shit is going on these days... I forgot how much drama there was in the real world. I was used to the over exaggerated version of life in rehab, and just completely forgot that things actually matter. I have become detatched from reality in a way... I'm drifting away, and I need someone to pull me back. I mean, things aren't going bad for me, but everything around me is just so much stress and pressure. I forgot how to handle myself in situations that actually matter. Nothing could really happen while I was away. But now that I'm back, things can affect me for the rest of my life. And I don't want anything bad to happen to me or anyone else. I love my family, and I love my friends. Bless them all, and I hope they are all alright.

P.S. I need sleep, but I'm not sure that I'll be lucky enough to get any tonight... <3


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