Hellish Irony

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions

Submitted: April 12, 2007

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Submitted: April 12, 2007




A man was walking down the side walk while on his way to work.  He suddenly came across a woman's pocket book, and saw from the color that it matched the hand bag of a woman who had just then passed him by.  He turned to catch her only she walked much too fast.  He quickened his pace and called for her. 

"Miss", through panting breath he yelled. 

The woman turned around and saw a man running at her with a black object in his hand, her first thought was that he had a gun and was trying to rob her.  She began to run.  Soon the chase was on, and the two ran down the street one in a desperate attempt to escape, the other in an attempt to return a lost pocket book. 

Finally after several blocks, the woman's shoe lost its heel ad she slowed her pace.  The man came up behind her too fast and had to wrap his arms around her to stop himself from falling to the ground.  He was wet in sweat and out of breath, with heavy puffs he spoke to her. 

"GOD LADY!  What the hell is wrong with..."
His words were cut off as he suddenly felt a force push back on his chest.  He stumbled backwards off the side walk and onto the street.  He reached out and grabbed the woman by the back of her coat to keep from falling.  With a broken heel, her balance was off and they both fell to the ground on the street.  The last sound they both heard was the ringing sound of brakes stopping too late as the city bus plowed over them both. 


The man opened his eyes and found he was surrounded by fire.  In a quick start he sat up frightened.  He was laying on a piece of granite in hell.  From a pool of molten lava came the devil.  He stood with his pitch fork and laughed out loud at the recovery of another soul. 


"Welcome to my home and yours." He told the man. 

"This...this can't be.  There must be some mistake."

"Mistake," The devil replied, "that's what they all say."

"But I was trying to return a pocket book." 

"A pocket book which you stole."

"I found it."

"Was it yours?"


"Then you should have left it there. But you didn't you picked it up and ran off with it, and we already know it wasn't your to start with so you obviously stole it."

"I was trying to return it."

"To whom?"

"To the lady that passed me by."

"Are you sure it belonged to her?"

The man was about to answer out of frustration at so many questions when he took a moment to consider the devil's question."So it wasn't her pocket book, I didn't know." 

"You still stole it though."

"No I didn't!"

"It wasn't yours and you picked it up and took it, so you took something that wasn't yours, that's called stealing."

"Ok, so I stole it, people go to hell for stealing?" 

"Not usually," The devil laughed

"So what am I doing here?"

"People go to hell for Murder."


"Yes sir."

"She pushed me and I fell in front of that bus! She murdered me!"

"Yes but you took held her coat and brought her to the ground, causing the death of you both." 

The man vaguely recalled, "Yes I was trying to stop myself from falling."

"Well you didn't do so great did you?"

"Apparently not, but she pushed me out first, she murdered me! Where is she now?"

"She went to heaven."

The man suddenly became enraged.  "WHAT? But she murdered me! I tried to help her and she murdered an innocent man, she should be the one down here, NOT ME!"

The devil grinned in victory. "No, you murdered an innocent woman, she murdered a pocket book thief."

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