Through Forgotten Eyes

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Through the eyes of my childhood friend

Submitted: April 04, 2007

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Submitted: April 04, 2007

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I don't remember being made, or my first thought.  My first memory is lying in an old crib.  The wooden legs set centered in large coffee cans filled with water.  I lay there for three days untouched, slipping in and out of sleep as the hours passed me by.  Then on the third day they brought some one into the room.  It was a hairless baby boy.  He seemed so foreign to me at first, pale skinned, with his face smeared in saliva.  He looked at me; his eyes were big and brown just like mine.  I smiled on the inside. 

"Hello there little Guy.", I whispered to him.  He giggled and reached out to me.  His little fingers could barley grasp my fur and he pulled on my ear. 

"Ouch, gentle now.  Be gentle."

He pulled me close to himself and hugged me with one arm.  He closed his eyes and fell asleep.  It felt warm in his little embrace.  I felt safety and an overwhelming love. 

I knew then, that I had just made a friend for the rest of my life.  His name was David. 

David and I were inseparable.  Everywhere he went, I went with him.  He would tuck me under his arm, or put me in his back pack.  We would pretend we were space heroes, defending the planet from evil alien races.  Or he would pretend he was Batman and I would be his side kick.  Sometimes we would ride the tricycle around the back yard pretending we were treasure hunters who had just found a priceless lost diamond.  There was always a seat for me next to him at the kitchen table. 

"This chair is for Charlie."  That's my name.  He named me Charlie, Charlie Bear.  He was so creative, and happy.  I was happy with him.  It would get lonely when he was gone to school, but as soon as he came home he would take me in his arms and we'd go off for an adventure together.  Those were the happiest days.  I loved to be held in his arms; it made the whole world feel right. 

I watched David grow up as he got taller, and he got smarter.  He stopped wearing those little shorts and plaid button down shirts.  He started wearing jeans and t-shirts.  He put his old clothes on me, and I pretended to be as cool as David was.  Eventually he wouldn't play with me as much. Most of the time he put me on the bedside and I watched him do his homework.  He would come home with his friends, and play video games.  They would laugh and wrestle like boys would.  I would watch.  It felt a little sad to not be part of the fun anymore, but I still loved to watch him.  Every now and again he would take me off the bed side and dance me around; it was just as much fun as I remember having when we were space heroes. 

David grew up faster and faster.  He started bringing home girls.  They all thought I was cute, and he would introduce me. 

"This is Charlie; I've had him since before I was born." 

"That's right, we've been friends that long.  Seventeen years we've been friends, and we're going to be friends forever."

The years passed on the bedside.  Then one day something terrible happened.  I don't know what it was, but it changed everything forever.  David came home, and I knew there was something wrong.  His brown eyes were surrounded in red, and his face was flushed pink.  He came and picked me up from the bed and I saw the tears on his cheeks. 

"What's wrong Dave?"

He wouldn't answer me.  He put me in a chair across the room and sat on the bed alone.  He buried his face in his hands, and I heard the most heart breaking sound I had ever heard.  He sobbed so hard.  I felt my heart begin to tear like fabric, each painful stitch coming undone one at a time.  He cried and I was scared.  I hadn't seen David cry very much, not since he was eleven.  Even then, I had never seen him cry like this.  This was not the cry of a little boy.  I suddenly felt a sharp pain from somewhere deep inside.  It tingled in my chest and I wanted to cry with him. 

Days went by and Dave cried every night.  He started sleeping later, and wouldn't talk as much.  He never smiled any more; he just cried. 

Months later the sound of David's tears were as common to me as crickets.  It was an awful sound, and every time I wished I could do something.  Sometimes he would come in the room with his arm bleeding.  I would watch him cut himself. 

"How could you do that to yourself David?"

He would stumble in the room and fall on to the bed and sleep with his clothes on. He would wake up and look like some sort of monster.  His hair was unkempt and his face covered in a thick beard. His eyes were small now and red all the time.  I missed those brown eyes I would look into at night.  The next night he would do it all over again.  The shelves where we used to keep our action figures were now crowded with empty bottles of beer or liquor. 

"Dave.  DAVID!  What's wrong David?  Come here; hold me like you used to.  Do you remember Dave, when you used to hold me?  It would always feel so good, and warm.  Let me hold you Dave, please let me help you.  Let me make you feel better like you would make me feel better. 

"Do you remember when we were space heroes Dave?  Dave?"

He couldn't hear me. Life had taken him.  "What happened to you David?  Why do you cry so much, what has life done to you?  How could life be so hard on you after you worked so hard to defend it?" 

Four years went by this way.  For four years I watched my only and best friend hurt himself.  His other friends stopped coming home.  Soon I didn't even see his parents anymore. He was alone all the time, and he had that bottle glued to his fingers.  I hated that bottle, it was like liquid tears.  Every time he would drink it, it would come right out of his eyes. 

I was sleeping in my chair where I had sat for so long, when I was shaken awake.  He picked me up, and held me up to his face.  I saw David's face up close again for the first time in four long, dark years.  He looked so old now.  His eyes were still brown, but they were torn and dry.  His face was thinner and scruffy.  I almost didn't believe it was him.  Then he did something I never thought he would ever do.  He hugged me. 

I felt his arms hold me tight.  I smiled so big inside, and then I heard his sobs again.  This time I felt his hurt.  I closed my eyes and he pressed me against his chest. 

I was in a dark hole that was dug too deep to see any light from above.  There was black dirt and blood staining the walls.  I realized the black dirt was ash, and suddenly I knew everything.  I was in his world now.  He had dug this hole in his chest.  This deep and dark hole that went all the way to his heart and the walls were caked in the ashes of his dreams and joys burning as he fell deeper into it.  The bloods stained were from his fingers as he fought so hard to climb out time and time again, but he just kept falling.  At the bottom was an evil place.  I felt a sense of dread as I neared it.  I could hear the sound of something breathing heavy there.  It was a demon. 

"Oh David, what have you done?"

This was his demon; it was made of his greatest sadness and his hardest rage.  It was strong, stronger then him.  I came to a stop in front of the demon's wings.  Thick, black and leathered, they were curled around its head like a bird covers its eggs.  I saw them rise and fall in rhythm as it breathed.  Then they slowly began to part.  Behind them was nothing, only blackness.  I peered inside the void when a single flaming red eye appeared.  I was suddenly terrified.  It stared straight at me. 

"Who are you?"  Its voice was dark and thick. 

"I'm Charlie.  Who are you?"  I quivered. 

"I am INKARNA. You are not welcome here." 

I felt an anger rise in me.  "This is my friend, and he needs me here now more then ever.  You are the one who shouldn't be here!"  Then like lightning, it reached for me.  It took my throat in one clawed hand and screamed a deafening sound.  I opened my eyes. 

The room was dark and calm.  I was still in David's arms, and he was asleep.  I breathed a sign of sorrow.  "I know what's in you Dave.  You have no idea, but I know.  I could have fought it, but it caught me off guard.  I'm sorry Dave, but I'm too afraid to go back in.  You opened yourself to me, and I'm too afraid to go back in.  I'm Sorry."  I was afraid to close my eyes again.I was afraid I would fall back into the hole.  Slowly I closed them but the way in was closed.  He had closed himself and there was no getting in now even if I wanted to.  For a moment I swear I even saw the leather wings wrap themselves around his chest, not letting anything or anyone in ever again.  I felt a deep rooted sadness, and I slept there with him.  We slept, like before, when we were young.  We slept like we did when we were heroes. 

When I woke up the next day, David was gone.  Everything was gone.  I was alone on the bed, and all of his things were gone.  Where had he gone to?  Why would he leave me behind?  He needs me. No one knows David, but I do, I know what you are feeling.  I felt it; you let me feel it, when you wouldn't let anyone else feel it.  You let me in.  Why would you leave me now? 

Some one came in the room and pulled me off the bed by one arm, and took me out of the room.  David would never carry me like this; he would be gentle, and loving.  He needs me, are they taking me to him?  What's happened to him?  A door screeched open and I was thrown in to a dark room.  I landed on a bundle of bags and they closed the door. 

There was no light, and I was afraid now.  Was I back in the hole?  Was the demon here?  I couldn't feel it; I felt an uprising panic.  I began to scream, but no one ever heard.  I closed my eyes after a while and drifted off to sleep.  I did not dream. 

I don't know how many days went by, maybe months, or years.  Soon all the days began to blend into one dark and miserable existence.  I wished I had tears, so I could cry.  I wished I was never made.  As I lay there in the dark and forgotten, I wished David would come back to get me. 

"David!  Where did you go Dave?  I need you!  How could this happen?"

Memories began to pour in behind my eyes, memories of us riding that old and rusted tricycle around the back yard.  The wind blowing through my fur, and he would laugh so loud.  I missed that sound so much; I would give all my stitches just to hear him laugh one more time.  I miss him so much.  We were supposed to be friends forever, we were space heroes. 

"We Were Space Heroes GODAMMIT!" 

Then I felt something I had never felt before.  Tears began to fall out of my marbled eyes, and I cried for days. 

The next time I opened my eyes, they were sticky and dry. 

"Is this how you felt David, alone and angry?  There is no reason for the hard lives we live, and there is no justification for the wrong that is done to us.  You were my best friend, my only friend.  And I was Charlie, Charlie Bear.  We were going to be friends forever."  I closed my eyes then, for the last time. 

The last thought that fell into my head before I stopped thinking all together was a beautiful one.  He pulled me close to himself and hugged me with one arm.  He closed his eyes and fell asleep.  It felt warm in his little embrace.  I felt safety and an overwhelming love.  I knew then, that I had just made a friend for the rest of my life.  His name was David.

 


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