Philosophies and phonies

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic

Jameson R. willts discusses an issue that has been plaguing his mind!

Philosophy Phonies

Jameson Willts, Orthodox Vegetarian, Lepidopterist, Winner of the 2003 Fielding Chemistry Award and proud sponsor of the Toughborough Cricket Club, invites you the bright and sprightlyreadertoindulge inhis editorial…

…This time he celebrates its second anniversary.

Ding Dong! And, if I may be so bold, a Dong Ding to you too!

Thank you and welcome, honorary fellow of this crisp edition oftheJ, Willts monthly,,to my second. But before we start our next voyage into the labyrinths of not-so-common wisdom, I’d like to thank you all, for I have been kindly inundated with your postcards and e-messages. Here’s one from Chantelle in Ribbleton, she would like to inquire “My aunt always tells me that life is whatI make it, andthat i'm to blame if something goes wrong.. but like, this doesn’t seem right! What is your opinion?”

Well Chantelle… that’s a very good question.

“The English are always degrading truths into facts. When a truth becomes a fact it loses all its intellectual value.” Now that, dear friends, was a quote by Oscar Wilde first published in the Saturday review in 1894. I shall try not to quote from him again; else I’ll become one of those disgustingly grainy fellows, who feel that to write intellectually, its quite necessary to quote from everyone and everything else in-between.

*Ahem*but before I return to our quote let me make one thing known,realise it or not, it appears to me that your aunt has sutmbled upon anarea known as,Philosophy! (or “Philo Sophia” to use the Greek roots) Now complain as you might that we should still talk, after over2000 years, about a strange group of bearded men in scant togas, it is inescapable that ancientphilosophies are ultimately the root of our currentWestern existence, of our culture, our religion, even our ethics. The issue brought up by Chantelle however, is that we must always remember one thing… they are not absolute, they are not facts!

After all, sometimes in philosophy there are ridiculous people, people who believe - for example -that life is just a wondrous computer game, or in fact similar to the maze at Hampton Court Palace. So reader, by this logic simply stick to the left, enter square circle circle and the correct Bio-dron Omnicron 2000 will be at hand to fight all those little fuzzy wuzzy aliens who keep stealing your socks. Sadly however, sticking to the left won’t show you any solutions and neither can the Bio-dron Omni-magi-thingy save your socks…I suggestusingmothballs! The truth is that as important as philosophy can be, there arealways those out there that believe thesmartest collection of words, the most intelligent-sounding of phrases, will hold the key to the correct way of life and the answer to everything!

So, with this in mind, let us consider the old adage mentioned by my good friend Chantelle “life is what you make it”. Sounds good doesn’t it,and I don't want to disappoint with arguments over"Is life really that simple, that controllable?" We all know that we're inhibited by factors that are un-controlable andlife is certainlynot a remote-motor car,we're certainlynot the remote! No, insteadI must rein this article back onto the path, before it dumps all direction into the proverbial ditch. Because you see,the real point thatI am driving at is that even Philosophies get it wrong, even greats such as Aristotle. He believed that Flies had only four legs (whilst in fact they have six… or so I have been informed) and that mucus was brain matter (well now I feel stupid).

The problemwas that for 200 years, nobody checked! They took it for granted! They degraded acommonly held truth, into an un-debatablefact..Which gets tous at last,valued reader, to my point. Philosophers have been searching for an answer for years, but as the years pass by, it is only throughour questioning, our challenging of ideas,that we actuallyget anywhere..And although the answer may not be, as Douglas Adams posed, 42, every time we question our beliefs, our truths, thenwe are surely getting closer to a truth we can all agree upon.

Perhaps the real problem thenlies more in the attitude of the people who spread these philosophies. After all, just as a man will be imprisoned in a room with a door that's unlocked but opens inwards; as long as it does not occur to him to pull rather than push, so too will a man be trapped in his own beliefs if it does not occur to him to simply try something different.

So, to take the quote we began with, we must strive to not degrade “truths” into “facts”. Because, I believe, nothing destroys the potential for discussion, evolution and freedom more then forcing your belief (and I stress, it is a belief) into a science, into a law. So to finish, fellow student of intellectual wizardry, in the timeless words of the father of thought: my advice to you is to get married! If you find a good wife, then you'll be happy. If not… then you'll become a philosopher! (Beard notincluded!)

Well i'm afraidit's getting late, the clock is sounding 11:00 and soit's finally time for this week’s nutritional factoid. Last timewe hada rather flatulent puzzle… the answer being a palindrome, a paragraph, sentence or word the same backwards as it is forwards.

Therefore I must recover with this, a deliciously sumptuous food-based riddle:

“A pot full of all kinds of flowers”

Eating this, some say takes hours

As ever your suggestions, answers and questions are gravely in danger, so send them on a postcode immediately, please, to:

Yours, TTFN,



Jameson R Willts’ Column

Submitted: March 08, 2008

© Copyright 2022 Mr Willts. All rights reserved.

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