Jerking Jihad

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
Short commentary.

Submitted: May 28, 2011

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Submitted: May 28, 2011



Jerking Jihad

The Last Pathetic Days of BinLaden.

In the late hours of the night I found myself surfing the web, browsing through recent news broadcasts and week old editorial blogs. This is something I often do when I am sleepless. I find it keeps me up to date with the latest events in local and universal news that covers all topics be it political, economic or social in its nature. I came across an American network news flash regarding the recent death of Osama Bin Laden. It reported that among the possessions in Osama’s Pakistani hideout, Navy seals had uncovered a “stash of pornography” as the news report put it. I found this amusing and found myself mulling over the story.

As we are all aware, Bin Laden had been in Pakistan for some time and is thought to have been residing at the compound for up to 18 months before being found. He was accompanied there by his wife, some close allies and was guarded by a militia of approximately 10 to 12 men at all times, all heavily armed and experienced in armed conflict. The ability of these guards however did nothing to protect him when the highly trained and largely superior “Seal Team 6” stormed the compound and delivered some good old fashioned U.S justice to the world’s most wanted man. A single shot to the head ended Osama’s ten year reign of fear and within a matter of hours his body would lie at the bottom of sea, swallowed up by the depths and far from the reach of martyrdom or worship. The seals soon returned to U.S soil with the mother lode of items obtained during the raid in Pakistan; computers and documents that would turn out to be the most significant single reconnaissance of terrorist information ever obtained by any government. And yet, amid all this information, amid all these details pertaining to the international connections of the Taliban network, I personally find the most curious aspect of these seized materials to be Bin Laden’s pornography collection.

I find myself wondering what the nature of this material is. Surely, being the most evil man in modern history, Bin Laden’s tastes must have been rather extreme. Perhaps his “stash” consists of a hoard of video’s, magazines and computer files portraying images of an array of unspeakable hardcore carnal acts. Dark and disturbing moments of excess and degradation, all captured on film for the warped pleasure of the late master of terror. But that opinion may well be an assumption due to Bin Laden’s murderous and extreme character. He may possibly have had milder tastes in adult entertainment. Perhaps he liked things soft-core and was a subscriber to Playboy (…because he found the articles really interesting of course) and it was this, his overwhelming desire to receive his monthly subscribers copy of the magazine that resulted in the U.S finally tracking him down and taking him out. Perhaps we all owe Hugh Hefner a big thank you for helping to free the world of this menace once and for all. As amusing as all this guessing seems sadly, we may never know the full story of what kind of material was contained within the collection. Unless the U.S government was to disclose details of the content we will remain in the dark regarding it and I cannot help but feel that a disclosure of this kind is quite unlikely in the near future. But who knows, maybe in ten or twenty years the collection will be made public and may even go to auction where Larry Flynt or some other classless smut baron can try to buy the rights to the material and display it in some gutter level publication. Or perhaps in time the U.S government themselves may decide to use Bin Laden’s image and association with porn in an anti-pornography campaign to save the youth of the nation from themselves. Short fifteen second public health commercials may be aired featuring images of young western men fidgeting suspiciously in darkened rooms, illuminated only by the glare of a T.V or monitor and followed with some slogan like “Don’t Go Blind to Terrorism…Help Stop Masturbation!” Time will tell in this regard, we shall just have to wait and see.

I wonder at Bin Laden’s state of mind in those remain months of his hiding. He was known to be an Islamic fundamentalist and even his possession of pornographic material was contrary to his belief. His faith forbade masturbation and the viewing of sexual imagery. In fact it has an extremely strict attitude towards sexual expression as is apparent in the strict demands imposed upon the women of the culture. The idea of Bin Laden secluded in his hide out, regularly beating himself off to porn is a strange notion but in reality, why else would he have had the material if not as an aid for his own self-gratification. He may have had an image as a hero amid the ranks of extremist terrorism but this new image of the jerking Jihad will surely cause the most zealous fundamentalists to revise their opinions of him. They will naturally claim that the reports of the pornography is a smear attempt by the U.S but I fail to see why the U.S would have to bother with negative propaganda at this stage, a smear campaign of that nature would only be of benefit if Bin Laden was still alive and active which he most certainly is not.

Overall, it is a strange end to the hunt for this illusive enemy of western democracy. For over nine years he remained at the top of the most wanted list throughout Europe and the U.S. At times, the vast majority of people genuinely believed he was already dead, rumored to have died shortly after the twin towers tragedy and again after an air strike in the hills and cave of the Pakistani border. Even the media rarely mentioned the possibility of ever finding him in the preceding two years before his sudden execution. And now, to be aware that he had been hiding out under the noses of the Pakistani authorities all this time, surrounded by computer connections to the outside world it is clear that he was as dangerous as ever and that the world is indeed a much safer place without him in it. Although curiosity makes me wonder as to the content of his pornography collection it is somewhat fitting to imagine him in his last days, tossing off frustratingly, betraying the fundamentals of his own faith. For me personally, I find it a fitting and pathetic end to a modern monster as it robs him of his religiously zealous persona and reduces him to what he indeed was… a sad old wanker whose luck finally ran out.


29 May 2011

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