Accountants

Reads: 216  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 3

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A man getting off a bus trips and falls in front of a woman.

Submitted: March 05, 2014

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 05, 2014

A A A

A A A


A man getting off a bus trips and falls in front of a woman.

******

Every damn day, I do the same thing. I always get on this bus super late because I probably have the worst boss on the world.

“Steve, do this, do that. I know this isn’t in your job but you are so good at it, can you please stay late?” he says

“I don’t know Doug, can you please kiss my ass?” That’s what I want to say. But I won’t. I’m too much of a pussy.

All the days seem the same after she left. I really need to get myself out of this rut I have been in.

Wow, at my stop already? That was fast. Welp, I guess tonight is just gonna be another night of Storage Wars episodes and jerking it.

Oh that girl is back, sitting at the bus stop, reading some sorta book like always. Those have to be goofiest glasses I have ever seen anyone wear.

Alright, c’mon dude, talk to her. You can do this. Hop off this bus real smooth like and be “Hey, whats up girl.” Okay maybe a little less douchey, but you get the point Steve, say hi.

Alright, lets do this man. Jump off on to the curb and-

Oh shit, I severely misjudged that. C’mon adjust adjust, stay up man, I believe in you, regain composure. 

Fuck fuck fuck, please don’t land on my face.

Alright, still alive that’s good, take a peak at the girl. Shit, it looks like she is trying to hold back a laugh, lets not make eye contact with her again. That’s going to be tough.

Brush the dirt off your shoulder. Don’t look as you pass her, man. Don’t look ashamed.

Keep holding that head up high.

******

For the first time in months Steve is excited to step off the 316. He has finally convinced himself to talk to the girl he has seen sitting at his stop the last couple weeks. It was her black glasses with frames just a bit to big for her face that really caught his attention. They made her look goofy Steve thought. He liked that.

Steve’s ex-fiancé was not goofy at all. She was a straight-laced, incredibly serious girl he met senior year of high school. Steve was certain they’d get married. Then last summer, she threw seven years away to be with some accountant she met on one of her frequent business trips out in New York. She did always think accountants were sexy.

Talking to bus-stop girl was a big moment for Steve. He was finally starting to move on from “The One”. He needed this really badly.

Then, he fell face first on the sidewalk.  

******

People ask me all time what it’s like to be streetlight. Well, not really because I’m not animate, but if they did, I’d tell them this:

I really enjoy my existence. I’m placed right above this bus stop, so at night, I give a certain sense of security for people waiting to go where they want. I really think I was placed in the perfect place.

The best part of this job is I get to watch people go about their business everyday. It’s fascinating.  My favorite person is this one guy called Steve. Really weird man, but he is nothing but nice to everyone.  I feel bad for Steve. He used to walk to my stop with the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. I haven’t seen her in months now. Judging by the look on Steve’s face neither has he.

Nowadays he spends most of his time waiting for the bus just aimlessly kicking me lightly. You’d think that would be annoying, but not really. I think I’m kind of like his therapist in a weird way.

Here his bus comes now. Hopefully he hops off with a smile. It’s been a while since I’ve seen that.

Okay, well it’s been a while since I’ve seen THAT. And in front of New Girl too, that is embarrassing. Hey, at least he is walking away with some pride.

Now this is interesting, she is smiling at him as he walks away. That’s good for Steve, falling spectacularly in front of New Girl didn’t turn her off.

Hahaha get it? Light pun.

******

Deb was sitting at the bus stop waiting for the 316 to take her to the community college where she took night classes.

She moved to California to reinvent herself. She spent the last few years in New York, but that experiment was a disaster. She arrived in the city bright eyed, expecting to find her calling in the fashion industry all while experiencing some movie-esque New York romance. None of that happened. She did date an accountant for a little while, but like so many other accountants, he had a problem with keeping it in his pants. So after a while, she decided she needed a change of scenery.

On this particular night, she was sitting at the bus stop staring at her textbook but not really reading it. She was too preoccupied with the thought that she didn’t particularly like the people she has met in LA so far. They either seemed really uptight or too fake. None of them exuded the whimsy that Dave, like so many other accountants, seemed to be full of.

Deb’s California hate session was interrupted by the fact a man getting off the bus fell in front of her. Deb couldn’t do anything but smile. It was pretty funny.

“Wow is he really going to try to play it cool?” Deb thought to herself as the man picked himself up. Deb watched in amusement as the man walked away, head held high.

“Actually, that was kind of smooth.”


© Copyright 2017 MRJBAhmad. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Unknown

Booksie 2017-2018 Short Story Contest

Booksie Popular Content

Other Content by MRJBAhmad

Accountants

Short Story / Humor

The Taxi Driver

Short Story / Humor

Popular Tags