How's Waldo

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A classic children's book taking a little twist towards a darker path.

Submitted: May 25, 2015

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Submitted: May 25, 2015



How's Waldo


Scene takes place by the dumpster in a parking lot of a heavily populated park. We see a man(Man 1) with dark hair, wearing glasses, a red and white striped snow hat, jean pants and a red and white, long sleeved striped shirt. The man has a near empty bottle of rum in his hands and the look of drunken depression in his eyes. Next to the man is a hard traveling suitcase and a walking cane. We see another man(Man 2) approaching and stumbles across the man by the dumpster. That is where it begins.


Man 2: "Hey..... Aren't you.... You are him aren't you?"

Man 1: "Do I know you?"

Man 2: "Iwish... I know who youare though, your....."

Man 1: (Interrupts) "Look man now is not a good time alright, I...."

Man 2: (Interrupts) "You know I gotta say I am a little disappointed.... I mean you weren't very hard to find, you are just sitting here out in the open. You were a lot better at this back in the 90's."

Man 1: (Irritated) "Well its been fun but I really just want to be left alone."

Man 2: (sits next to man 1 with a concerning look on his face.) "I understand."

Man 1: (looks at man 2) "You do?"

Man 2: "You are clearly going through a very tough time in your life right now."

Man 1: (Holds up the rum bottle.) "What gave you that idea?" (Sarcastically)

Man 2: "Maybe you should take some time and just really focus on finding yourself." (Laughing hysterically)

(Man 1 reaches for his suitcase and begins to open it.)

Man 2: "How do you manage to surround yourself with people and objects that resemble you?"

(Man 1 removes a very thick rope from his suitcase.)

Man 2: "Is that the only style of clothes you buy or do you wear the same outfit everyday?"

(Man 1 stands up and begins to stroll through the park as man 2 follows.)

Man 2: "What is it you are always hiding from?"

(Man 1 stops inches away from a thick, sturdy tree.)

Man 2: "I have a crazy ex-girlfriend... Can you teach me how to disappear in a crowd?"

(Man 1 swings rope over a tall, thick branch of the sturdy tree.)

Man 2: "Do you have a family?"

Man 1: (securing rope to tree)"Nope"

Man 2: "Any brothers or sisters?"

Man 1: (tightening the final knot of the rope.) "No."

Man 2: "Parents?"

Man 1: "Died when I was a kid!" (With frustration in his voice.)

Man 2: "What about...."

Man 1: (Interrupts.) "Stop! Just for the love of God stop talking! You don't know me and I don't want to even begin to try to know you! My fashion choice is none of yours or anyone else's concern! Did you even stop to consider that everyone could be mimicking my appearance! What makes you believe that I ever wanted to be found! Every time I think that I am alone some idiot decides to follow me and ask me all kinds of ridiculous questions which cause me to run back into hiding! Well I am tired of running! I am not hiding anymore! So If I were you I would get the Fuck out of my face!"

(Long pause)

Man 2: "I think I understand what you are trying to tell me...... I can't believe I didn't catch on before. I feel so stupid! It's clear now to me. (short pause) You want to hide so I can try to find you! It would be an honor sir! (Extremely excited)."

Man 1: (Careless look on his face) "Yes.... That is exactly what I wanted. Turn around and count to ten, and then come and find me."

(Man 2 immediately turns away from man 1 and the tree, and begins to count.)

Man 2: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10"

(Man 2 turns around only to see man 1 hanging by his neck from the tree.)

Man 2: "Clearly you are not who I thought you were. (walking away from the lifeless man 1) You suck at hiding."

How's Waldo?

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