The house was empty, a reflection of the me who lives in here.
I was sitting alone, quietly and turned my head slightly, as I thought I heard a sound. I held my breath, my hand gripping the book I was reading and surely, there is was again, gurgling breathing. I shivered, wrapping my jersey tightly around my body as if to warm my dead heart. I didn’t hear the sound again.
It was later in the afternoon as I was in the kitchen, stirring a cup of hot coco in my favourite mug. I felt a coldness brush past the back of my neck and I rattled feeling it creeping over me. I clenched my cold hands around the mug, inhaling the warm chocolate steam, wanting it to warm me knowing that it won’t.
I walked to the bathroom opening the water and stood there watching the tub fill adding some lavender oil, steaming fragrantly in the small room. I undressed folding the pieces of clothing in small squares. Again the feeling of darkness rushed through me and I wrapped my arms around my bony body and turned around to get in the water, hoping the heat would seep through to my core. The water covered me and I closed my eyes thinking how soothing it felt, needing it to be. And as I imagined a field filled with lavender I heard it again, gurgling breathing.
This time as if in my ear and I startled, almost feeling the breathing blowing against my skin. My thoughts raced and I never could relax back into the warmth again. Curled up in bed I tried to warm up and turned the blanket on high desperately wanting the numbness out of my body.
Hours passed, and as the nights and weeks before, sleep still evaded me. My bedside clocked showed 1 am and as I turned on my back I heard it again, gurgling breathing and a cold darkness flooded through me , pinning me to the bed the breathing becoming louder , in my ear and in my head. I wanted to scream, to pull from the pressure, to escape but it kept me there and I felt it go through me as I was helpless to stop it, useless. The gurgling turned into a growl a violent sound making me wet myself and yet no sound escaped from my mouth.
Today, people are still whispering, although it’s been many years since I’ve been here. My house still empty as it was when I lived there with my empty soul. There where I had no voice, my only sound, gurgling breathing.
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