In the darkness of light (2) FOR THE IAN DAWN CHALLENGE

Reads: 376  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 11

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

My second entry

Convinced I've been that my unseen death, is my only worst fear

Knowing theres no time, no cure when its cold fingers creep near

Macabre danger of it so dark, wrapping around my soul

Damning me to haunting ghost, with yearnings to be whole

 

Near death experiences tell of peace and walking into light

Seems no soul finds the dawn or black darkness that we mortals fight

Concluding then, that evil lurks only here where we feast

Preying on each other's weaknesses, in each of us a beast

 

Your tongue has sacrificed my being, carved me bloody strife

You drank my soul, spit me out, cursing me to lonely life

My veins now pour crimson regret, my tourniquet despite it flows

In the darkness of the light I lay my bones in neat little rows

 


Submitted: June 28, 2012

© Copyright 2021 Murnit. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Ian Dawn

Got A shiver on this one that tells me I like it and teh undertones of sex in this is subtle but alive and amazing. I love it!

Thu, June 28th, 2012 7:27am

Author
Reply

I am happy you approve, as I said Im not all there yet, gimme im Ill get back into the groove of things
Flights booked yet?

Thu, June 28th, 2012 12:48am

Insane Membrane

nice work ... i love the last line ( and not cos its over ) ;-) great catching up on skype yesters ....

I have given up on teh challenge (lol) I so am unable to darkekn up.

Thu, June 28th, 2012 7:40am

Author
Reply

I will never give up teh fight.. ;) I love a challenge even the darker ones.
You know I love what you write!!

Skype was good, the laughs too it picked me up a bit xxx

Thu, June 28th, 2012 12:47am

Mike Stevens

Dark, but excellent!

Thu, June 28th, 2012 5:34pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Mike I hope you have a great day You are the sunshine in my every day
M x

Thu, June 28th, 2012 10:36am

keithg67

Very haunting,very macabre too....but I approve my Marnette x

Thu, June 28th, 2012 8:27pm

Author
Reply

Glad you do babe XxxxX

Thu, June 28th, 2012 2:03pm

chelly1979

Damn! I lost the contest! This was a great poem. It gave me chills, I liked the bones in neat little rows.

Thu, June 28th, 2012 8:35pm

Author
Reply

I'm so glad you liked it My second one deffo better than the first Happiness
M x

Thu, June 28th, 2012 2:07pm

jmurch

Yes...Yes...Yes! This is one freakin' scary dark read! It was like hitching a roller coaster ride on its way to Hades! I like the final line. I have seen a bad assed final line or two since my first experience on Booksie, but the line above is the best last words I have ever seen. Rock on Master o' the pen!

Thu, June 28th, 2012 8:56pm

Author
Reply

Thank you Thank you!
I value your opinion so much and if you like what you read it makes me smile and warm my heart
M x

Thu, June 28th, 2012 2:11pm

MrV

I understood we torment ourselves more in life, that by comparison death is not as dreadful as it sounds.

Have to concur the little rows of bones were creepy and excellent in summing up the tone and mood of the piece as a whole. When the bones are laid to rest in rows it reminded me of the white lines in a highway. Metaphorically speaking, the last line could be letting go/moving on.

The rhythm really picked up in the last four lines, I was almost singing them as I read along.

Fri, June 29th, 2012 1:12am

Author
Reply

What a wonderful insight you have, almost as to reading the script of my soul.
Yes you are right the poem is saying that I thought death is the worst but the hurt I am experiencing going through my divorce is far worse and leaves me 'dead' , needing along
M x

Thu, June 28th, 2012 7:31pm

brucek

yep, the bones in neat little rows got me. yeah, you're going through a lot of shit right now. i haven't forgotten you. just trying to live my life too. e-mail me, skype me, whatever. i'm there for you. you're poetry has taken another step. hang in there.

Sat, June 30th, 2012 1:55pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Bruce you are a good friend I know you're on the go but I will email you soon . Still unpacking have no tools to hook up washer or tv but am willing to exchange sexual favours for assistance.....just teasing (not)....lol
Hope u enjoyed your game earlier the week:)
M x

Sat, June 30th, 2012 10:51am

Awaneesh Shukla

hey murnit! i am an absolute fan of your poetic abilities. this one here ( i read it real slow trying to make it sound philosphical though real) is truely amazing, loved it. have a great day!!!! :-)

Sat, June 30th, 2012 7:16pm

Author
Reply

Hi I'm happy you loved it My poetry always a part of me

Sat, June 30th, 2012 2:56pm

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